korean;

2009-08-22T23:43:00.000+08:00

DOREEN HAVE OFFICIAL MOVED OUT OF BLOGGER AFTER ALL THE PROBLEMS SHE'S BEEN HAVING WITH BLOGGER.
SHE'S NOW AT
WWW.KOREANDO.TUMBLR.COM (thanks to WN for introducing tumblr.com!)

YES! After getting all the shit and torture from Blogger. I can't stand blogging in html.
Was suppose to put a photo of my screenshot of my new blog but well, blogger is hating me that much.

please re-link me and tumblr is where i will be!
i will not close this site but ...... bye for now here and see you at my new tumblr site!

You know you love me
xoxo, Do.

2009-08-21T17:38:00.000+08:00

I feel bad about this. But i have BIG INTENTIONS on leaving this blog because blogger is just too mean to me :(
shit, i dont know .. i've been waiting for like a whole month for it to just work properly on me .. and it just wouldn't.

Tell me blogger, are you going to fix this damn problem?
It's NOT NICE to blog in HTML format :(

2009-08-18T23:51:00.001+08:00

okay, i know i'm blogging alot today, but i dont care.
here's something i need to share!

G-Dragon - Heartbreaker

This is really fresh i tell you! I am digging this :D

2009-08-18T16:27:00.003+08:00

Jasmine's First Music Video

this rocks. this girl, jasmine v is not a official singer. She does a lot of covers and uploads them on youtube, hence she has a own big pool of fans. hahaha, and yes, this MV, she managed to get the whole crew and filmed it. Tell me, what's that? TALENT i'm screaming! She's so good, i better hid myself when i sing.

Youtube her if you wanna her more of her works, or just double/triple click on that video to watch her stuff on youtube :)

2009-08-18T15:42:00.002+08:00

I'm highing over the fact that my comment actually got into POPSEOUL! Podcast.
Doreen August 6, 2009 at 11:01 am

I think its cheap for jyp to use nobody for wondergirl’s american debut. To me, i feel that BoA is a better celeb compared to wondergirls. In my opinion, BoA dances and sings wayyy better than wondergirls. Wondergirls only win at the part that their song is eats into people and is catchy. But as many have told me, any other artist would have make it big just by singing nobody. So, wondergirl’s song sell but they dont, while for BoA, her songs and talent sells. Haha, just that BoA is taking it slow, unlike wondergirl’s and their powderful engrish cos people have problem understanding nobody by euuu.

those in bold is what was quoted in the podcast!

hahaha, rocks. I'm a loyal reader at POPSEOUL so its happy to know that they've quoted my comment :)
Lol, and i think POPSEOUL is improving as the years goes by. At least now i can laugh with their jokes and poke fun at artists.
POPSEOUL, hwaiting :D

(and i can't stand blogger cos it havent been loading probably since a month already! shit! i'm thinking of shifting out of blogger for you.)

2009-08-14T23:29:00.001+08:00

She deserves better.
Why are you giving her so many difficulties and problems that she must go through in her life?
It's not fair, God.
Why don't the bad happen on the evil, while the bad only keep falling on the innocent?

My sweet girl deserves some candy in her life.

Please grant me A WISH. Not asking for more, but only 1 wish, God.
And my wish is for her to feel peace within her everyday.

EMO DEMO wins the race.

2009-08-14T02:16:00.001+08:00

And It did it again.
Yes, It came back with a slashing return.
It slashed my heart.

And I dislike how you use people,
like the tools to build a tower.
But just that this tower is not meant to be shared with others, it's just to make yourself higher, while leaving those who helped you at the bottom on the tower, and get hit by those stones that might seem small to you from above.
But you should know, that when one fine day, when the earthquake comes, you'll be the first to come all the way down.
And this fall, no one is going to fall with you.
We will witness this fall from right below.
And this time, we wouldnt be there to catch you.

God blessed us with people around us to love us, to be there for us,
to cry with us when we are sad,
to jump for joy when we are happy,
to scream in agony when we are in pain,
to dance crazily when we are feeling hyper active ...

Not for us to make use of them, and cheat their feelings,
not to hurt them.

But then again, who are we to judge.

And i know, that all is too late.
This road has NO U-Turn.

2009-08-11T00:35:00.002+08:00

Dear Doreen,
You should quit complaining since this is the career path you chose to walk. You have to continue to put up with all the stress level, lack of sleep, tiredness and weariness, the shitzzz, ...

Working in the glam industry is not all that glamorous after all
You only get the shine only after you receive all the shit.
I guess it's like how diamonds are made.

Okay, i love editing. I should sacrifice sleep for what i love. I need to get use to the 'sleep only 5 hrs a day' routine because that will be what i will be expecting once i step into the entertainment industry.

Today is the 6th day running of 'Sleep only 5 hrs a day' routine.
All the way, Do.

-----
Is there anyone out there selling time?
So i would buy a ton of it and sleep away.

2009-08-06T09:36:00.002+08:00

Just this morning, I carried yesterday's findings to the living room. Mum looked at the her vintage bag that i was carrying, talking about her own bag. Then I shot her about spending $200 - $300++ on the bag i was carrying. Then I went on saying that I figured out that maybe I should spend $200 - $300++ on shoes. And she said, ' I don't spend so much money on shoes ' lol. she better don't, haha. If not, I'll start to think that maybe i should spend thousands on fashion. Lol.

And till now, I can't believe that my mum was a shopaholic.
lol.

2009-08-05T23:33:00.000+08:00

Today, I decided to pack my room after my dad have shifted new furniture in 2 weeks ago.
So, i rolled up my sleeves and half whined in my head that i need to manual labour. I packed my table, actually just clearing space to put Donald's fat butt and my speakers. Then I went over to my wardrobe to put something in. Then, I saw this big plastic that I never once opened to see what inside was (yes, and to think that it have been lying in my wardrobe for almost 2 years by now). I opened it and ... O.O GUESS WHAT I SAW!!!

4 leather vintage bags. The first thing that came to my head was, I SHOULD HAVE OPENED THIS PLASTIC BAG AGES AGO!!! I happily took out the 4 bags, all look great, though my favorite one died cos the leather was flake-ish. :( But its okay, the other 3 works well :)

I excited brought those bags to show it to mum. And she just happily told me that the bags cost about $200++, $300++ each. Though i'm so surprised since one of the vintage bag i carried is $500, but still! I didnt know she bought so many!! Lol!

Then i told her that she always complain that i spend so much, but yet she spends how many thousands on her bags. Lol, then she told me cos when she bought those bags, she was spending her own money, but now i'm spending her money -____- okay, which is true.

Now I know who's genes I have that made me such a shopaholic, my mum's. Lol. When i was thinking about her spending like 200, 300 or even 500 on bags, I was thinking maybe it's going to be worth it if i spend 200,300 or even 500 on shoes (from RIVER ISLAND:D). Maybe my daughter will be loving those shoes in the future, like how i'm loving my mum's bags.

And now, i have in my possessions, 8 genuine leather bags, all from my mummy.

2009-08-05T20:35:00.001+08:00

Say NO to shoe abuse.

This is a Vans being ripped (chopped), leaving a bloody scene.
Lol, love the concept but hate the face that ONE PAIR OF SHOE GOT KILLED IN THE PROCESS OF TAKING THIS PHOTO.

Haha, actually this is a pretty emo concept :/

2009-08-05T02:01:00.002+08:00

is there anyone to heal my wound
if i leave it alone, it's going to continually get worse
i'm really scared of love and people
i'm afraid of being alone, i'm afraid of being forgotten

always a loner, i close the door to my heart
bearing my sadness on my back, i live like a fool
i close my eyes and cover my ears
i lock myself in the gloomy darkness

This is Doreen, the Doreen i only realized after reading this umpteen of times.
It's scary, but true.

I need a I-ANTIEMO

2009-08-03T12:10:00.004+08:00

Outsider & K.Will - 090711 - Alone

** it's sick how the guy in white raps crazily fast. he's the singer of this song while the guy in black is just a friend of his who appears on stage with him! lol, its crazy how fast white guy can rap, but its crazier when black guy harmonises the rap.. like SHIT IT MANN GIVE ME SOME RAPPING SKILLS YOYO! hahaha, and the way the 'hang' the dancers are cool! damn! why is korean music industry so so good?

i'm really scared of love and people
it's scary, but the truth is that, these 2 are the scariest thing in life, at least ... to me.

2009-07-31T02:38:00.002+08:00

" I’m missing you, missing you
I miss you to death
No matter what, I cannot say out how much I miss you."
- FT Island, "Missing You"

This continues to ring on my itunes, everyday.
How long will this last?

2009-07-31T02:29:00.004+08:00

I miss you only because

I
HEART
You

Is that too difficult to understand?

2009-07-31T00:06:00.002+08:00

you're one of those who always appear and meet me up even though it might be super last minute, though you may be busy, you may be tired.
Thanks for all those last minute meet ups we had the past few months.
You've been my great pillar of support and i love the talks we have.
love you, my jingjing<3 :)

2009-07-29T22:36:00.000+08:00

Thanks so much, Heng and G, for all the hugs and love showered on me these days.
I really dont know what to do with both of you.
I know these are 2 people who love me for me.
I love you.

2009-07-29T00:35:00.003+08:00

Why do you always end up spoiling my day?
I didnt know that me being human is a sin.
That practicing basic human rights is a sin.

I am really missing you.
is that good or not?
I want you to know that ...
I don't want to be just a passing wind.
I'm here to stay.

2009-07-27T00:47:00.002+08:00

I know that
There is no good ending to this initially happy story.
The sad ending have already arrived, just that I dont know why is it like taking forever for this drama to end.

Whatever the drama is, you are just the passer-by.

2009-07-23T11:23:00.002+08:00

6 years old is the golden age to shine
Only if i did shine then :(
These 2 kids are really really talented.
Only if i have 1/2 of their talent at the age of 18 T-T

2009-07-21T14:14:00.002+08:00

You will probably never know that ...
how much I love you
how much I like you
how much I hate you
how much I loved you
how much I liked you
how much I hated you
how much I miss you

how much hurt I've went through because of you
how much tears I've shed because of you
how much I've wanted to die because of you
how much I've went through just to let you go

because it's not for me to tell, but for you to ask.

2009-07-20T23:21:00.003+08:00

I want to play the electric guitar like Jonghoon! Lol, he's super good! okay, at least to me.

At last FT Island is having a brighter and happier mv and album. I must admit that i always get a little/more emo when i hear their songs and watch their MV. But this happy mv just make me smile :)

2009-07-18T00:53:00.002+08:00

i really dont know how to feel and react towards you anymore.

i rather not feel anything than to go through everything now, really.

it would have been much better if we both just remained as strangers.

cause to me, right now, it's a torture knowing you.

i don't know how long will this torture will last, or will it never end, or will it eventually kill me.

i feel the bomb within me is ticking away, it will explode sooner or later, and i don't care how much this bomb will hurt you anymore.

i don't care any longer, because you're not worth it, till the extend that i might just slap myself if i cry over such a reason.

to Heng: I'm sorry for me being like myself always. I always feel bad that i can't be there for you like how you are always there for me. just drop me a msg or call me or whatever it is, tell me when you are happy, sad, angry .. or just feel like being random yeah? I will be here :)

please just go and open a winery, it works better that way.

sorry if you think that i've changed, in fact, you've just begin to start seeing my other side.

you're the first, that i am prepared to break everything.

i'm sorry, and don't expect you to forgive me forever.

whatever, i should stop feeling if i dont know how to feel anymore.

2009-07-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

The walk from NP to school with hannah was good good :):)
haha, but i can't do that daily like she does.

HAHAHA :) thanks to hannah who helped me lose some weight and enjoy that talk!! <33

2009-07-16T00:05:00.003+08:00

Today was yet another day at home but i managed to fill up my day.
Woke up at 12.58pm (sorry to friends who have to wake up early for school), cook lunch for myself and sister, who didnt go school for dont know what reason.
yeah, after lunch and some fruits, went around the house doing some chores and some facebook-ing.
Then, later in the afternoon, i went with parents to send sister to tuition at Novena, Square 2.
Me and mummy walk walk around while sister went for tuition and dad went to do some work stuff.
hahaha, its been seriously looooong since me and mummy walked around a mall together and just having dinner, just the 2 of us! it was nice, though i was only a short 2 hrs date with mummy.
i ate so so much .. i think i am really going to gain a lot a lot of weight :(
I had korean bbq for dinner, fruit sago for dessert.
Then when we return home, i had some thailand mango salad & 1.5 donuts :(
Tell me i'm going to gain weight and should stop eating before i turn into a pig :/
I told my mum one fine day i return home, she wouldnt be able to recognise me cos i will become so fat like a pig.
Then she said, "You think in one day you can turn into a pig ah? And literally look like a pig?!"
Haha .. okay, but i think i'm turning into a pink pig soon :(

I should start losing weight!!

But, today was one of the better days in my current life. I dont know why ..
No Emo-Do for the past 2 day, which is good i think ...

Mum promise me to dress shop some day .. i hope that day actually comes T-T
Okay, now i'm facebook-ing restaurant city .. all sister's fault

2009-07-15T14:59:00.002+08:00

I had my own mini movie marathon yesterday.
Okay, it's mini not because i watched too little movies in a row, but because i watched it all alone :(
hahaha, which is sort of totally fine with me.. lol

So this was what i caught yesterday in order:
1. PS I Love You
2. Bride Wars
3. Made of Honour
4. Get Smart
5. You Don't Mess With the Zohan
6. Wild Child.

To me, all shows were good except, You Don't Mess with the Zohan.
It's the really really bad show mann .. lol, i was like bored 1/3 way through it so fast forward and caught a little here and there which made everything worst T-T
whatever to that movie, but i hope i do check all the other movie, except the bad one, again :) cos they are all .. great!! really!!
Haha, cheers to me for catching all the movies i really really wanna watch in just 1 day.
it's also the first time i have caught so many movies in just 1 day ... hahaha.

and today, i think i am going to fb all day .. Lol .. hahahahaha!
okay, just to clarify, i am not having holidays.
I just happen to have off days on tuesdays and wednesdays (hence, i think i really need to look for a job to cover those 2 days).
And it happens that i have NO DONALD until his charger returns.

oh wells, and i am missing you :(

2009-07-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

Today, it was weird.

Other than that ...
Today, after school, i went to cineleisure's Ishop to send Donald's charger to the doctors.
But, ishop is having some clearance .. so they probably will be having renovations or either they are moving out :(
yeah, so i went to wheelock instead to send donald's charger there :(
Apparently, not only Donald's charger is dying .. Donald's battery too :(:( and i did my math, i will need about $400 in total to just buy a freaking charger and battery T-T
Donald is such an expensive kid..
Oh and guess what!! I found PINK CASING for Donald at last at wheelock!! HAHAHA, i really really wanna buy it .. so i can firstly make donald pink, 2ndly protect him from any future scratches .. (though there are already alot T-T)

Anyhow, i met brother at Wheelock after waiting for him for like a long while roaming at the mac shop. I was really depressed when i heard that parts of donald were dying. I will probably need to get another mac if Donald is going to age so fast :(

haha, long time havent been in town but didnt really have the chance to walk walk around.
Went to Balmoral with brother for dinner at Waffletown (i still think that the food there is a rip off. so ex and not worth it!) talk talk and went home

i wanted to go cycling with him at east coast so badly okay :(:( oh wells, another time i guess..

no donald for 2-3 days :( now he is fully charged .. but once i use him, he will probably be dead within an hour or so!

2009-07-10T01:11:00.003+08:00

In this world, in my life,
though there have been much wind and storm,
much heartbreaks and tears,
much sadness and disappointment,
I've seen many things i used to not take note.

I know something will good will come out of all these i've been put through.
I know that Your plan will be perfect for me.

Thanks for always being a call away.
You girls are always pull me through.
I've been meeting people up these days, listen about girlfriends life and just to see their face, I'm really glad.
That i know that these are the people who will always be there for me, as they have promised that we are only a call away though we may be physically far from each other.
I thank God for every individual of you, that i can open up my heart to you and have a heart to heart talk though we can don't meet for months.
And i thank you for loving me as you have always loved me.
_________

I know you don't know how much tonight was for me.
I was really touched that you both went down to meet me just with one simple call i made.
Though I'm sorry that it was really last minute of me to make such a request, but i was glad that you girls proved that you'll always be there for me with just that little act.
I love love you so much, jo and jing :)

& G, for just listening to me the whole of last night, for just sharing your life with me.
I am touched by simple things you do for me :)

Thank God for girlfriends!!

2009-07-09T01:07:00.002+08:00

Do you comprehend the full meaning of being tired?
_______________________________________
I really hate it when i behave like a child.
I really hate it when i have those thoughts.

I guess this is one of the craziest period of my life.
And I'm not exactly enjoying any bit of it.
Even if i did enjoyed it, the smile fades away almost immediately.

Father, is there something to wanna reveal to me?
I think if i go through any of these any further, I will really go insane.
I know you wouldnt give me anything too much for me to bear.
But, I think I'm about to reach a point of time when i can't bear it anymore.

2009-07-07T13:22:00.001+08:00

I really enjoyed yesterday night.
Just chilling out with jing and faith at Rail Mall (though that's just that row of shops in front of my house)
But, it's the company that matters though i've been there like more than 100 times.

I really loved our talked though i listened most of the time :)
We should chill out like that more often!

Remember, just a call away:)
<33 Faith and jingjing.

2009-07-05T20:42:00.002+08:00

Girls, once everything is confirmed and settled, we can do it together :)
But even if we can't do it, we know that we still had fun in our own little neoprints booth at the changing room! :D

I really wanna do that shoot! Super excited and waiting in anticipation!

Is this a way to build up something called self-confidence?
Father, show me the way.

2009-07-03T23:14:00.003+08:00

GOSH GUESS WHAT I JUST SAW ONLINE?!!!

#1. A PINK MAC BOOK PRO!!

I WANT MY DONALD PINK TOO!!

but Heng mentioned once that I shouldnt make Donald pink cos he's a guy .. so its just gay to turn him pink.
Donald Donald ... why didn't i just call you a female name T-T ... like ... Pink or pinkkie .. LOL.
okay, no. I still love donald though he's not pink okay!

#2. LITTLE GIRL WITH HER PINK PROPERTIES!

*take note: the girl is dressed in pink, lying at the top right of this picture
TT--TT okay, i think i'm barely half way there now :(

2009-07-03T22:45:00.007+08:00

Did i mention i bought a pink pencil box yesterday?
It's not only a pink pencil box.
It's a pink pencil box with the word PINK printed in pink on the pink pencil box :)

Isn't it lovely?
One more addition to Doreen's pink item. :)

I'm half way turning all my property pink.
Lol, I am always carrying my pink wallet and pink ipod. :)
There was once i remember i was bringing so many pink stuff in my pink topshop bag that i had trouble looking for my stuff .. cos like, you open your bag and you see everything is the same colour, pink.
Lol, i remember that time, in my pink topshop bag, there was my pink wallet, pink ipod, pink box containing pink pills, pink nike water bottle, .. its a blur what pink stuff actually was inside that pink mess.

Did i mention? I want a pink phone badly :/
Lol.

-----
My pink power is contagious okay? Lol.
That's why is called pink power for a reason :)
Even the black Renee is turning pink.
Lol, I love you, my other half!! <33333

2009-07-03T15:36:00.002+08:00

Lol, first faz called me up to get Ms Phuah, our scriptwriting teacher's number.
Then, Renee asked me online for Mr Ng's number.

[15:30:44] Everyone! Read leonard's msn nick! |KOREAN-DO says:
lol
[15:30:46] Everyone! Read leonard's msn nick! |KOREAN-DO says:
this is so funny
[15:31:11] Everyone! Read leonard's msn nick! |KOREAN-DO says:
******** (Mr Ng's number censored)
[15:31:23] Everyone! Read leonard's msn nick! |KOREAN-DO says:
lolol .. faz just called me just now asking me for ms phuah's number .. lol
[15:31:32] Everyone! Read leonard's msn nick! |KOREAN-DO says:
i'm like the teacher's phone book ..lol
[15:33:12] Renee Isabelle says:
hahahahahhaa
[15:33:15] Renee Isabelle says:
u'r good with teacher ma
[15:33:20] Renee Isabelle says:
friend friend
[15:33:20] Everyone! Read leonard's msn nick! |KOREAN-DO says:
LOL
[15:33:22] Renee Isabelle says:
hahhahah!
[15:33:28] Everyone! Read leonard's msn nick! |KOREAN-DO says:
now i sound like some teacher's pet okay?

lol, so am i a teacher's pet now or am i just reliable?
Haha, i suddenly recall me in secondary school. i was like the tyrant who never gets caught in school and teachers don't give a damn about me. Lol.

2009-07-03T01:44:00.001+08:00

Cry on my Shoulder

If the hero, never comes to you
If you need someone, you're feeling blue
If you wait for love, and you're alone
If you call your friends, nobody's home
You can rum away, but you can't hide
Through a storm and through a lonely night
Then I'll show you there's a destiny
The best things in life, they are free

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh let me know
There's a place in heaven, where we'll go
If heaven is, a million years away
Oh just call me and I'll make your day
When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay by your side
I promise you, I'll never hide

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

2009-07-02T23:22:00.006+08:00

You're not the only one going through all these alone, my dear.
I'm here when you need me the least, when you need me the most.
And you know, I'll always love you no matter what you do.

If you really need someone there, to just sit quietly beside you, just ring me up.
I may not the best person to advice you on such matters, but I will try my best to keep being there for you!

Don't cry anymore okay?
Now, even my eyes hurt, cause I just kept crying for you .. i dont know why.
Emotions just flooded me and i just keep tearing.
You know its for you, dear.
If my eyes hurt, yours must be really painful.
You know i'll keep being there for you and love you.

You'll keep having me. :)
And it's my promise to you that i will always be there for you be it the good times or bad.
I love you loads, my dear cousin.

Bring back your smile, dear! I wanna see your pretty smile and hear your crazy laughter. :)

xoxo,
the one who loves you very very much,
Doreen

2009-07-01T22:37:00.003+08:00

Why do people keep choosing to end their own life before God take them back?
People laugh at these people, saying that it's stupid for them to end their own life, it's not worth it.
But I guess, we are not in their shoes to say if its worth it or not.
We only have the right to be sad and disappointed for what they have did.
We don't have the right to judge.

I know i don't, i only get very very sad and emo and disappointed.
But yet at the same time, I'm envious of what great courage they have to do something like that.
Be it jumping off a building, overdose of pills/detergent, cutting themselves, stabbing themselves, ...
They know the consequences, they went through so much emotional struggle before deciding to take the flight to ending their own life.
I really am sad that they have to go through all these alone in their head, in their heart.

If I had their courage, I probably wouldn't even have the chance to type this post, or even have the chance to open any of my blogs.
I know it's the trend to end one's own life now, but it's not a trend we should follow.
Or rather, me.

But though I'm envious for their courage to end their life, people always say, if they had such courage to die, why not face it.
I think its 2 different kind of courage to compare. (am i making any sense here?)

Well, but I'm still glad that I didnt chose that flight to end my life.
Cause i recently was aware that behind me, a whole lot of people do love me and are concern in everything i do.
To them: Thanks so much and I'm really sorry.

I'm glad that God made me vain.
So i wouldn't even attempt any methods to kill myself.
Cos i did think of all the methods and try thinking of the consequences if i fail to kill myself.

I wanna go Clarke Quay to just sit there infront of Singapore River and just think and talk, who's game for it?

2009-06-29T00:31:00.003+08:00

I was just writing one of my animation synopsis and showed it to Kenna to let her see if it's okay ...

[00:20:24] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says:
Lol
[00:20:25] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says:
shaver
[00:20:29] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says:
hahahaha..
[00:20:29] PINK POWER! |KOREAN-DO says:
hahaha
[00:20:49] PINK POWER! |KOREAN-DO says:
cos shaver will destroy all their bubbles and scratch the soap bars ..
[00:20:52] PINK POWER! |KOREAN-DO says:
then they will get hurt
[00:22:17] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says:
hahahahahaha..
[00:22:23] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says:
sounds so funny when u're writing it..
[00:22:24] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says:
lol..
[00:22:30] PINK POWER! |KOREAN-DO says:
write what?
[00:22:35] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says:
like some mature girl trying to become childish

hahahaha ... yes, i don't want animation script to turn me to a childish little girl :/
lol, even Kenna agrees that it's weird, or not doreen to write animation script.
I'm so touched touched that even she knows its so not doreen to write anything like animation :D.
I will post up my chosen synopsis here once teacher sees it ... lol, then everyone can help give me ideas!!

But ohwells, till then I will continue to hug Renee and cry together :/

2009-06-28T22:24:00.004+08:00

Not pretty,
Not tall,
Not slim,
Not smart,
Not talented

Can't sing,
Can't dance,
Can't write,
Can't draw,
Can't compose.

Only cry,
Only whine,
Only complain,
Only emo,
Only hate.

This is the Doreen that is standing right here.
I know it's not really nice to say this,
but at this moment,
Doreen is totally disgusting with herself.

I'm sorry, but I would love to change my genes.
They only alter jeans but not genes right?
Life is so unfair.

2009-06-16T23:01:00.004+08:00

To loyal readers and fans of korean-do, I owe all of you an update of my "very happening" life.
it's going to be super list like so people dont get bored reading a whole paragraph on 'doreen-rants-about-life' .. haha

- A lot of dance practices these days as church concert, Agape, draws near. I am enjoying dance pracs alot, probably one of the things i wanna do most in my life, that is to perform as a dancer on stage. It's been good, but the aches are definitely not that fun. Love my Ostrich sisters more and more.

- Gossip Girl and Sleeping are the only 2 things i do when i am free. Strictly speaking, I am only free yesterday and today. So spent the whole of yesterday sleeping (serious no joke! 13 hrs of sleep yesterday and 12hrs today) and GG-ing.

- I am totally neglecting schools these days. I kinda of figured out from one of Renee's and Fel's conversation that Church + God is more important than school work. Felt guilty for skipping one dance prac for school stuff, so ended up missing 2 korean lessons which i have no idea how i am going to catch up since i have no friends/dont know anyone at korean lesson.

- I just realised that i havent headed to the mall or caught any movies for a whole 2 months (coming to 3 months le). Wanted to catch a movie today, but realised no one free to go with me :( I need to catch UP, ghosts of girlfriend's past and Subaru!

- I really really miss Jo. This is the first time i havent met her in a month ;(:( and jingjing who i havent met for 3 weeks :(

- I am really high now! That i feel like just dance crazily down the hill at my place. Lol, it's the only time left for me to get high before tiredness starts eating into me again :)

- I am ditching school work cos i really dont care about it at this point of time. Sunday night before school starts is the best time to do school work, right Renee? :D:D

- I LOVE YOU GIRLFRIENDS + LAOGONG (who happens to betray me recently :/)

2009-06-12T23:56:00.003+08:00

It sucks when you find yourself only home at 1130pm, feeling super brain dead, feeling super tired.
Then, you only come to realise that you have work to need to complete before sleeping.
Then you start to count the hours you probably get to sleep,
that is, 5 hrs.

Maybe it's not that bad.
Lol, but i better get to bed at 1am.

I really don't like it when others complain over things ... like over the fact that they only get 7hrs of sleep. (sorry to you who might happen to see this, but i really dislike when friends complain over things when they don't understand others' situation which might be worse)
I feel like I have been tired since forever.
Yes, June have been madness. With not only very little sleep, but 2 heart aches from stress .. and more to come, I dont know why but I'm sure of it. Lol.

Get to work now, Dough!

2009-06-12T00:35:00.002+08:00

I'm really sorry.

And I really dislike it when I am getting heart aches. (yes, literally heart aching when i touch my heart)

I think I'm going to have a short life.
But, I don't wanna leave just yet, Father.
There's many things leave undone.

I seriously can't chill this month if you think that I'm just being damn uptight about stuff.
Cos with one wrong move, everything crumples and millions of fingers will be pointing at me.

I'm sorry.

And I seriously need to stop tearing like some baby which I'm doing super often these days. I don't know why. But, ...
Doreen, you just need to grow up and stop being a baby. It's time that you grow up and stop tearing like a weakling.

Love you and miss you.

2009-06-10T23:12:00.008+08:00

The best thing that happened today ...
I went down to 7-11 with sister, and i decided to just buy a Mr and Little Miss capsule. (yes, the $1.80 one).
Wanted to try my luck if I'll get Mr Happy.
and then ..

MR. HAPPY
along with his friend, MR NOSEY :D

look familiar?

My big big Mr. Happy soft toy :D

When Big Mr. Happy meets Small Mr. Happy!

Lol, they were both bought from 7-11. HAHAHA
I see the both of them are so happy to see each other and have me as their owner huh :D

Haha, looking at both Mr. Happy now, i suddenly recall something that my classmate, Weining said. They were just talking about the $1.80 Mr and Little Miss Capsule in class. And i mentioned that I want Mr. Happy!! Then, weining went 'Why Mr. Happy? That's so generic.' (well, since Mr. Happy and Little Miss Sunshine somehow represent the whole Mr and Little Miss crew)

Her comment made me think for a while. 'Why Mr. Happy?' I thought to myself. And i finally understood why. I really need a Mr. Happy to help Little Miss Emo to become happy.

I suddenly remember watching this on youtube a long while back!

I want to be Mr. Miserable there ... so I still eventually get to meet Mr. Happy someday, who will bring me to Happy land :/

2009-06-10T22:59:00.005+08:00

I am feeling so ...
irritating, annoying, pester-ish, troublesome, bitchy, ...
as a girlfriend.
Whatever.

I don't know why I am starting to get more and more possessive.
why am I angered at some small issues, so much that people don't even realised I'm mad.

I'm the main problem here.

Stop guessing, you prolly dont know who I'm referring to. But if you happen to know, then it should only be you.

2009-06-09T13:49:00.001+08:00

I really don't like it when I am missing you so much, Heng:/
One more day, i tell myself. But still, it's freaking 20 or even 30 hours more :(

We should meet soon.

2009-06-08T18:00:00.003+08:00

I remember me wanting to type all those feelings that night, but it so happen that my internet connection was down that fateful day that i had to type on my desktop.

Here is something i wrote about a month back.

I was walking along the same familiar path to the busstop. The only thing i heard was my footsteps.

As i think back about my life, what can i say? i've made such a waste of this life. Whatever i've done in this life have not turned into anything beautiful. Well, i guess that's what i am, an ugly duckling.

As i board the bus with heavy footsteps, those thoughts just kept increasing. I stood there, feeling super bottled up. I realised that, no one, no one was there. I wanted to run away, i wanted to run away but i couldnt, those legs wouldnt bring me anywhere far. So i continue to stand there, as if i've just lost everything, as if there was nothing else to live for. As if i've just got ditch by my boyfriend, i rest my head on one of my shoulder, ignoring the stares of others, holding back those tears.

I walked and walked, never knew that that same breeze could actually be so hard and cold. It made me realised again, i'm all by myself. Ignoring that fact, i kept moving. Soon i realised that other than me moving, everything seemed have stand still in their own postitions, everyone turned cold. I stood alone as i look up to the bright moon that seems to be the only one there for me. 'How long will it take me to reach to you, Mr. Moon?' i thought like a child. Then i realised that i couldnt move any farther, my feet were guled to the ground for some reason. The next thing i knew, i was tearing up. How long have my eyes locked these tears in them? How long have these tears been pulled back in my eyes by unknown forces? How long is this world going to continue to stay cold?

I am super unwanted. Even the dog that barks at me all the time didn't bother barking at me this evening, even the neighbour who always walks her dog decided to not take that same route. Trying at my best, i rewalked the same path, hoping to feel the warmth of another human. Why am i trying so hard, when others don't?

From a far, i see a house that's warmly lited. Doors opened wide, as if waiting for 'prodigal son' to come home. 'There's the only place i can hide at' i thought to myself. Faked a face, changed those heavy footsteps into joyous light one, i stepped into the house. What else could i have done?

Entering the house, i told myself 'this puts a end to everything'. Looking around that house, everything seemed the same, the same as all the others out there, hard and cold.

2009-06-06T00:07:00.004+08:00

Irritating how I always want to talk to people but I dont want to trouble them.

Admit it, no matter what's being done, this world is cold.
And suddenly, I feel that I can't even turn to Him no longer.
It's been long since then, but ... I really need Him more than ever.

Those thoughts would never stop to force themselves into my little head.
What if 1 day I really take those thoughts into action?

That would also be the day when I talk no longer to you anymore, the day I feel no more, the day I hurt no more, the day I don't feel the coldness of this world ...
the day I don't see your face forever.

What am I doing all these for?

2009-06-05T23:21:00.002+08:00

It's not funny how stm (short term memory) is really hitting super hard on me.
Maybe it's from all the stress, maybe its from all the lack of sleep/tiredness, i dont know.

I was just learning the dance steps at 5pm with the girls, cos i missed yesterday's prac, so need to learn in like 1 hr what they took to learn in 3-4 hrs. Great, so learnt like some mad person and managed to actually learn pretty fast and kinda of get something out. Cool, then we went ahead to learn the new steps that were intended to be taught today. After that we had super late dinner at 8pm, then after dinner, i totally forgot what the girls taught me.

This is so bad, i think i can barely remember what i learnt today. All i know is i'm damn tired now and my muscles are crazily aching. Shit, how am i suppose to do my intended self-prac at home tmr :(

It sucks when you have super a lot of things to do but dont have the time, energy and capability to do so.

& It sucks even more to know that you are not doing well in what you like. I really always loved and wanna dance, but .. that stupid thing in my head (yes, it's what everyone calls the brain but not sure if mine is one) is not working.

So like what I was saying, June sucks. June just won Best Suckiest Month in the Year 2009.

But I'm hating myself more.
Not very glad to know that I might be spending 2 hrs on the road to just travel to and fro church just to take a photo with the dance group. Nothing goes well.

2009-06-04T11:07:00.003+08:00

I am currently in class.
Super super irritated and bored with work ...
oh mann, so many things to do in so little time.

There's play to perform tmr, which me, fel and renee havent even came up with the script.
Isn't it just simply .. awesome?

I really feel like ditching motion graphics and korean lesson.
Teacher not here for motion graphics and ... i guess once i ditch that, i wouldnt go for korean too.
I know I will be pretty much strewed if I dont go for korean lesson today, cos I would have NO ONE to turn to, to ask about korean T-T
oh wells, i will just have to meet mr.kwon on another day to just meet to teach me.

sighx, what is this week like that :/
don't like this ...

2009-06-02T21:25:00.002+08:00

Finished Gossip Girls Season 1 in just 4 days. (cos i didnt watch the whole of Monday! So technically 3 days!)
It's great, really.
It's super scandalous and bitchy (which is why i love it so much, partly)
And I really like Blaire and Serena friendship like mad. I really want to have a friendship like that myself! They fight over the smallest thing, walk out on each other, but end up, they always turn to each other when they are in trouble. Though both B and S hurt each other, nothing is stopping their friendship. How many a times who let a friend go because of a small issue?

I really want friends who are really there for me, like forever. Ohwells.
I am going to check season 2 soon enough because I really hate my June like mad. Ask me about it.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be struck with those Heart-aches-from-stress soon enough.
I'm really hating to go those places. I can only wait for time to pass ...

Really really glad that i was able to make a day out for my girls :)
Went for Faith's choir concert just yesterday and it was really great! I really like the songs that was being sung this time round :D
Waited for Faith to go around meet her friends and take photos, get changed before leaving for Supper #1.
Rachel, Petrina and me went over Faith's place to stayover after that, which was super fun :D
Haha, watched a movie at her place and Supper #2.
Check out her cool bedroom slippers that i almost bought online for myself!!

lol, and we cooked today's lunch together!!

yeah, yummy yummy nice lunch! All thanks to Chef Faith. Haha, we did everything according to her instructions and lunch turned out good!

okay .. i should start working on those awful stuff now.

2009-05-23T23:30:00.004+08:00

Stress
level
is
increasing
with
every
passing
day
.

I wonder how many heart aches i would need to go through all these stress.
It's bad that I'm already having one now since the real stress have yet hit me.

I want to do my best,
but i'm not given a chance to.

So much to rant about,
So much to be done,
So much to take note of,
So much to ...
In so little time.

2009-05-22T22:42:00.002+08:00

My
Heart
is
hurting
.

The heart ache is killing me
literally.

TT__TT

Rip that Heart, Send it to the Blender and Die.
Happy Ending to the Sad Story.

2009-05-21T23:12:00.003+08:00

Previous post was so temperamental ... can't believe that my internet connection, vlc player and hp screwed up on me at one time T-T kill them.

Anyhow, i should blog about some i havent blogged about, My Diet.
Lol, not really diet diet okay, it's about My Diet for today, which is crazy.

I had a cup of coffee because i left home for school this morning cos my tummy was feeling weird. I thought it was because i slept on a hungry tummy, which shouldnt be since i do that with no problem. Bought a pack of Wan Zai for my tummy cos i was like hungry but totally no appetite cos of the tummy upset. The weird thing was, when i was popping them into my tummy, it stil kept growling. Then i decide to pop like 1/3 a pack at a time then it stopped, so i stopped eating too. I only started popping in alot of wan zai when my stomach was making noise cos it was getting irritating. I was super duper hungry for lunch, i ate a bowl of Sliced Fish Noodle and stop eating cos i didn't wanna spend. But even as i was eating the Sliced Fish Noodle, it was like on freaking vibration mode, keep growling T-T.
Lol, during class i was feeling hungry so i grabbed Sandwich to quickly before korean lesson. 1.5 hrs after i ate my sandwich, my stomach was like growling like it havent eaten the whole day. I thought i wouldnt make it out of school alive at the rate of how my stomach was demanding for food. Came home and eat a small plate of Noodles and Alot of Beef. And that was like 2.5hrs ago, and i'm feeling hungry now.

Oh and those who dont know, i am not the type who gets so hungry all the time. I would usually just ignore it with drinking alot of water ... but, i guess i need to grab supper ... :( I told mummy that i will explode from all the food i'm eating. Even I'm scared.

It must be those pink pills that keep making me hungry. If i gain weight from these pills, i'm goign to sue that doctor. LOL, those she was friendly :D. Maybe i should sue the pharmacy then. LOL. haha, did i mention that i just send in another complain letter today? love it mann!

i guess i'll go cook udon for me and brother :(
If i get fat/fatter, please cry with me :(:(

edit) Just had half a packet of udon with crabsticks :(

2009-05-21T22:26:00.001+08:00

Don't like how everything is screwing up on me.
Yeah, go ahead and keep on screwing up.

That's my fate anyway, right?

Whatever.

2009-05-20T21:51:00.004+08:00

Today, i went out with fel.
Met her at Clementi and off we went for our doctor session, a trip to the polyclinic to see whatever virus that's eating in us.
Went to the polyclinic in the afternoon only to know that it's lunch break period, doctors will only be back at 2pm, so we went to the food part of the pasar malam near by to grab some food :)
RUMBILY burger for me, and fel got some youtiao with fish paste thing which was good. We got some fried banana, sweet potato and tapoica. Lol, havent ate such unhealth food before seeing the doctor ever. HAHA. We got a little worried so we got some health drink, strawberry yorgurt from 7-11 :D (talk about it, my throat was actually recovering from crazy Macs last week and i guess it's back now from all the oil fried food we had today afternoon T-T)

Oh and talk about the doctor's, see what i've got today! (not shoppings okay) *though i bought 2 tops and 2 pair of earrings today :X*

Medicine ..

And the craziest part about it is ..

if you see clearly, its Total: 224 TA (tablets).
Yes two hundred and twenty-four tablets.

doesnt look much?

Lol, i look like some drug trafficer surrendering all the drugs i've smugged in.

*attn: the bear at the end of the 'drug' line is the bear that Renee got me along with the flowers, that's why its called flower bear/boy.

This medicine is supposedly for one month worth. Lol, take 224 pills in a month.
Told fel and Mummy that the medicine was in such a big pack that it was as if it was for some diabetic patient cos the only time i see it, it was when people are taking 2-3 months worth of medicine.

Since i have pill boxes and always preferred bringing them around instead of the one doctor gave, i've picked up my new pink pill box for this pink tablet.

Lol, ain't it love.
Fel was telling me that i will find so much joy in taking these pills because it's pink. lol. haha, now there will be more joy since its in a pink box :D

I love the doctor i had consultation with today. haha, she's super duper nice, nice enough to give me pink pills :) One of the best and friendliest doctor ever met :D

Lol, the shopaholic has everything huh, even different coloured pill boxes. (the ones you guys usually see is the red with panadol in them, my rectangle light blue one was history ever since i've got new set of pill boxes)

Haha, i've sure taken a lot of pills in my life huh. This medicine is so beating my 8-panadols-a-day-for-14-days. Lol. If everything goes well, I'm taking 8 of these a day for one month.
T-T.

Sure never fail to see Dr. Doctor every month huh. I'm such a problem kid.

2009-05-19T16:51:00.003+08:00

Fangirling mode is biting into me again.
But somehow i rather be like that, one of the few ways to run away from reality.

Partially due to Super Junior's - It's You new mv, i'm kinda of stuck to them now.
Lol, yes. its the video on my previous post if you havent caught it :X

Heng and Hannah experienced my fangirling mode online. Lol, i seldom/never did that to anyone before. Lol. But it was fun :D

I'm going to spam the photos of 2 members from super junior here cos i'm in fangirling mode now :P

DONGHAE
lol, DONGDONG <33

SUNGMIN
haha, sunggminnie

Haha, its not that bad now okay, i used to spam their photos almost every now and then back then, in sec 4!!
Lol ... Donghae & Sungmin = <33 style="font-weight: bold;"> i cut my fringe on my own because its too long till the extent that it keeps on going into my food when i eat.
When i was lunching with renee on friday, my fringe keep on going into my sliced fish noodles. I guess it just wanna swim with no fishes .. lol.
Hope its looking fine :X

Off to re-re-re-re-re- ... watch Super Junior's It's You mv :D

2009-05-15T02:18:00.006+08:00

Super Junior - It's You

I really really like this song. How i wish someone would sing it to me some day. (and actually mean it!)
Honestly, this is the best Super Junior MV that they have ever done. I love the dance so much and the song is so meaningful. The boys have improved, and their dances just keep getting better. I really feel like running into the MV to just hug them. They really look hurt.

Oh wells, i want to sing that those lyrics some day to Him and mean it.

It's You Translation
It's you (It's you)
It's you (It's you)
It's only you (It's you)
It's you

I don't need anyone else, it's only you
When you ask again, it's only you
Even if you already have another love
I can't forget you, I can't turn back around

The moment my eyes began to burn
I have no regrets, I chose you
That's right, it's you

Oh whatever anyone anyone says
It doesn't matter to me
Oh whoever whoever curses me
I'll only look at you
Even when I'm born again, it's still only you
(Still still) Even as time goes by

Oh, when you tell me you love me
When you tell me thousands and millions of times
Even when my heart sets on fire, my dry lips wear out
Even when I'm born again, it's still only you
(Still still) Even as time goes by
Oh, I

Ah ah only for you (x7)

I don't need any words, it's just you
"It's too late", but for me it's just you
I know our love is wrong
I can't give up, I can't let you go
My lips, cold as can be, are even more blue
I cry out to find your warmth
I call, even though I call for you
And there's no reply, I'll wait for you

Oh whatever anyone anyone says
It doesn't matter to me
Oh whoever whoever curses me
I'll only look at you
Even when I'm born again, it's still only you
(Still still) Even as time goes by

Oh, when you tell me you love me
When you tell me thousands and millions of times
Even when my heart sets on fire, my dry lips wear out
Even when I'm born again, it's still only you
(Still still) Even as time goes by
Oh, I

Ah ah only for you
Ah ah only for you

For me, it's you, it's you, I...
Why don't you know, why don't you know?

For me, it's you, it's you, I

Oh whatever anyone anyone says
It doesn't matter to me
Oh whoever whoever curses me
I'll only look at you
Even when I'm born again, it's still only you
(Still still) Even as time goes by

Oh, when you tell me you love me
When you tell me thousands and millions of times
Even when my heart sets on fire, my dry lips wear out
Even when I'm born again, it's still only you
(Still still) Even as time goes by
Oh, I

It's you (It's you)
It's only you (It's you)
It's you

Teach me to learn how to live for You and not for myself.
To live to glorify your name, and not mine.
To love your people, and not only those who love me.

It's about You, and not about me.
"I cry out to find your warmth" ...

I really like how He speaks to me through song lyrics.
Thank You Father. For this song, this lyrics and that dream.

2009-05-15T00:38:00.002+08:00

I say
there's no such thing as a platform to exhibit your creativity.
there's no such thing as freedom in this world.
everything is under the control of someone, which happens to be the society.

No wonder seldom we see originality in the world of film, media and entertainment in Singapore.
Since we are suppose to do and produce only what the society wants.
Please don't blame those poor scriptwriters and producer if the drama storyline really sucks.
It's not their choice.
They didn't have much budget, no freedom space was given.
They have no right, they have no say, and they long to be free one day.

That's why i need to leave this place to win that platform which ultimately will be only mine.

2009-05-14T23:12:00.002+08:00

Let me share the most disgusting thing i did this week.
I had macs for dinner at 9.30pm for this tuesday and thursday (today).
Crap right? All the fats and oil that entered my body.
The worst part is, after that meal on tuesday, i had a really bad awful throat that was super dry and pain on wednesday and thursday morning. I think i will be the same tomorrow morning and the few more mornings to come. Now i'm already coughing because i can feel my oil-coated throat and it is hurting so much from the coughing.

Please dont have macs if you intend to have dinner at 9pm.
But i guess i'll have to have that often. As school's canteen closes at 8pm and filming only ends at 9pm. Awesome T-T

But i've gotten my pink Coca Cola cup from macs today with fel :D:D
HAHAHAHA ..lol

My M18 Birthday

2009-05-13T20:51:00.002+08:00

Haha, finally Doreen is legal.

Yes!!! Rocks! :D:D

Thanks to all who have wished me, celebrated with me and gave me little cards and gifts for this special day for me!

*sorry fel, the photo i taken of you yesterday wasnt that nice :X

Yeah, i really love everything you guys have given to me! Haha, yes even the elmo tissue trina. i feel wasteful using it! its just so cute!

I really love those pretty flowers so snapped more of them :D

pretty right :D
Thanks dear!! :D I was really touched by yesterday okay!! Come all the way down though you are sick, just to pass me this and see me for 15mins. I lovelove you!! :D:D

Oh, since i'm legal now, i went to buy a drink for Heng.
Lol, we went there and grabbed a bottle and thought the lady was going to check my IC, but she didnt T-T. Both of us were like 'I bet she will ask to check my IC.' But she didnt T-T
Haha, whatever. But i still manage to buy a drink today and give her her drink i promised her almost an year ago! HAHA :D
To Heng, Thanks for today! HAHA, giving me that trolley thing, you want me to shop more right? HAHA :D:D <33

And i'm listening to 2NE1's fire NON-STOP. LOL, its really growing on me. And i half feel like i'm betraying After School T-T.. haha.

2009-05-13T18:04:00.002+08:00

This song is awesome. do check it out!
*all videos have english subs so no worries!

2NE1 - Fire MV (street version)

2NE1 - Fire MV (space version)

yeah, they are the new YG girl group, more commonly known as Female Big Bang. They are really kinda of cool and unique. They do constantly remind me of Big Bang even though i watch the MVs for dont know how many times.

I think their big big rival should be After School since the songs and styles are about the same yet very different. Both groups are very unique groups in kpop! :D

2009-05-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

It's the May 13th curse.
Seriously, why is it like that everything year.

cursed, me.

2009-05-12T00:16:00.003+08:00

I need to blog about today!

Today, I met US today.
Met them at Tanjong Pagar MRT station, then we made our way to the place for dinner.
Lol, they blindfold me half way while we were taking a while to walk there. So embarrassing okay..
lol, but lucky, i was blindfolded .. so didnt have to see the weird stares from people around me.
But i really thought i was going to end up at some dont know what place lor. haha.

And they brought me here,

lol, yes. its bibimbap = korean food!
haha, yeah we went to a korean resturant to dine.
lol, i entered the place blindfolded and i heard a very not singaporean person speak english to Faith. I seriously though he was French or Spanish okay. Lol, but he is korean. HAHA, cos they kept telling me about bringing me to a good chinese food place and that person totally dont sound china, so i thought must be western lah! T-T partly cos i dont believe they brought me to a korean resturant for dinner :D

We had like alot of food for dinner, i felt it was super good though service is quite ... bad. lol, haha. Cos the person who served us definitely is not korean, and i know best!

the awesome girls who went through much effort in planning for the great birthday celebration for meeee!

a toss for me :D

group pic

haha, all the other photos are either with the girls (everyone happen to bring a cam today T-T) or in the use-one-time-camera they got for me just for this occasion! dont want to call it disposable cos its my precious item now!
i'll develop those photos soon girls! :D love you so much and thanks for dinner and dessert and cake! :D:D

Thanks to you guys, its been long ... really long since i've been happy, really happy.
Yeah, when i was on my way home, i suddenly realised my purpose of living this live, to love.
Thanks for saying that thing about loving to me, Faith!
You guys just pop into my life at the right time, indirectly showing me the reason to live.

I'm proud to announce my first bottle of alcohol received in this 18th birthday happens to be a ...

KOREAN SOJU! IT LITERALLY FLEW FROM THERE! pet got it from there on her previous trip to my 'hometown'. hahahahahaa~~

On a super side note, Doreen shopaholic habit have took place yet again on last Sunday.

i bought like all these pens when i dont really have the chance to write in school! the only lesson i write is like .. during korean, and its once a week T-T haha. dont ask me why i bought them, i just felt like it. lol.

2009-05-06T15:36:00.003+08:00

This song just came to me when i was just losing confidence about auditions later.

Lady Gaga - Just Dance
A red one
Convict
Gaga

I've had a little bit too much
All of the people start to rush.
Start to rush babe.
How does he twist the dance?
Can't find my drink or man.
Where are my keys, I lost my phone.
What's go-ing out on the floor?
I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore.
Keep it cool what's the name of this club?
I can't remember but it's alright, alright.

[Chorus:]
Just dance. Gunna be okay.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just dance. Spin that record babe.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just dance. Gunna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-just dance.

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth.
How'd I turn my shirt inside out? Inside out babe.
Control your poison babe
Roses with thorns they say.
And we're all gettin' hosed tonight.
What's go-ing out on the floor?
I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore.
Keep it cool what's the name of this club?
I can't remember but it's alright, alright.

[Chorus]

When I come through on the dance floor checkin out that catalogue.
Can't believe my eyes so many women without a flaw.
And I ain't gonn' give it up, steady tryna pick it up like the car
I'ma hit it, I'ma hit it and flex until the til done until tomorr' yeah.
Show me I can see that you got so much in the jean
The way you twirling up them hips round and round
There's no reason, I know why you can't leave here with me
In the meantime stand, let me watch you break it down.

[Chorus]

I'm psychotic synchypnotic
I got my blue burners and phonic
I'm psychotic synchypnotic
I got my brand electronic
I'm psychotic synchypnotic
I got my blue burners and phonic
I'm psychotic synchypnotic
I got my brand electronic

Go. Use your muscle comin out work and hustle
I got it, just stay close enough to get it
Go slow. Drive it, clean it like so clean it's been molesto, I got it, and your popped coll'

[Chorus]

taken from: http://www.lyricsty.com/

Yes, it must be coming from Him who is always watching over me.
Just went this song rang on my itunes, Renee told me to 'Just dance, gonna be okay'.
It's really just coincidence or either, He is really in charge.

Thanks so much Father.

felicia's lovely poem

2009-05-06T00:04:00.004+08:00

With permission from my felicious friend, felicia, here's one of her recent post which is poem formatted. I really love it so very much! I am poem fan. lol.

Friday, May 01, 2009: Just stop and think.

what if one day you wake up thinking it was a normal day..
only.. it's not.
some of your loved ones are missing.
gone, without a trace.
no note to say goodbye, no letter to explain why.

you realize this world is colder without them.
you realize how lonely things can get.
you realize that you have to face the tough times of this world;
alone.

you walk around and you wonder aloud,
'where did they go?'
it's so frustrating you just wanna shout.
and all the answers you wanna know.

then it suddenly dawns upon you like a missing puzzle piece
the friends that you suddenly miss
all had one thing in common-
they're are all of christian belief.

that rapture your friends were talking about;
how one day they would all go up to heaven
and receive the rewards in due time.
while those non-believers, sadly, stayed behind.

so now you know that the time had come,
when Jesus would descent from heaven down.
as the world will soon face its' end
and the left-behinds will face their trials.

if only you knew, if only you believed what your friends tried to tell you
then you, too, would have been spared from the fire.
but then it's too late as what's done is done
by then your friends would already be back home.

*
but lo, it's not too late now
as the world still spins, round and round.
while life is still in favor,

i'm asking you,
will you believe,

in Jesus our Saviour?
Posted by Felicia at 9:33 AM 0 comments

Thanks fel! for writing this poem and blogging it!
its really one of the best post i read off blogs.
you go girl! <33

2009-05-05T20:53:00.002+08:00

I'm super nervous for auditions tomorrow.
Lucky there's Maylin who's going with me :) if not i will really be emo-do.
lol, and telling fel and renee just now, i will probably run away and not go for auditions if i didnt have someone to go with! At least i can go to training with Maylin if we both get in :) awesome!

Anyhow, went with fel for lunch at Clementi Macs today. Haha, managed to grab the 11-2pm lunch promotions at Macs for the 2nd time. lol. Then, we meet Renee before heading to fel's place for teach-doreen-dance-for-auditions. Haha, went to her place to slack a bit and talk afterwhich we head to her gym to dance for a while then end up slacking and talking. Lol, we spend more time talking then dancing and i dont care! haha, the bond is more important okay! :) Renee left for school first while me and fel went up to her apartment to look at g-market for a while.. really a while only. (g-market is the korean online store that doreen and felicia visits ALOT. We hope to buy the whole site down :) right fel?) it happened that me and fel both saw RAIN BOOTS yesterday. How love! We could buy it and then be the happiest people on earth who screams for joy when it rains. Cos we'll have the perfect reason to wear our rain boots :D

I just practiced on my own with whatever renee and fel taught me for the short afternoon. Haha, surprised but i remembered every single 8's you all taught me! lol, hope i'll be able to remember it during freestyle tmr. I practiced so hard that i am sweating so much. fel! you are not the only one who dances till sweat drips. Lol, i guess i just danced harded when i'm on my own. :(

This have been a very wordy post but.
THANKS SO MUCH TO FELICIA CHIA AND RENEE TAN WHO TOOK UP TIME TO TEACH THEIR DEAR FRIEND WHO CAN'T DANCE. :D

2009-05-04T20:57:00.004+08:00

i'm so damn freaking lazy, maybe that's why i'm getting F.A.T

tagged all the photos FAMILY camwhored today. it was seriously BAD. lol, haha cos i kept on tagging the wrong people with the wrong name, cos fb had to fail on me when i finish tagging all the photos. thanks so very much.

i'm feeling freaking lazy now to get out of my chair. damn it. badbad. i know i have super alot of things to do, but doreen always choose to be lazy.

i have ministry stuff plus concert things to work on. i have my care circle and core group to pray for. i have my friends that i should show more concern to. i have nra auditions to worry about. but all i do is rest my butt on this chair and start looking at heels all over again ...

anyhow! NRA Auditions!
i am going for it this wednesday, and if they dont have a slot for me on wed, i'll probably try this friday and next wed ... all the way till i get myself into NRA. Lol.

Went to town with ming,ling,jo and david on sunday after church. woah its seriously been long since i went town. and

AT LAST, i saw a backpack that i might consider getting. haha, it just appeared to me while we walk into the shop! lol. and a big big tote bag for dance, (i dont know if they are called tote bags but those big big bags). haha, that bag stand out so much! and i will super unique with it :D hahaha!

okay, im like making super a lot of plans to buy stuff after i enter NRA. lol. so i better get in :X

i should get out of my chair now :(

2009-05-02T01:46:00.002+08:00

I feel like some dead spirit in a human body.
I'm kinda of very tired but dont want to turn in.
Oh wells, i think i should.

nights.

The emo bug have just bit me again ..

2009-05-01T23:57:00.003+08:00

He
doesnt
know
that
I
will
miss
him
so
much
.

Oh wells, that's why we should spend more time together now.
But the more we spend time together, the more I will miss him even more :X

------------

& I really want to get back to Him for real.
But I really ...

2009-05-01T00:01:00.002+08:00

Meeting Squeak at last after a whole year of keep bumming into each other around Barker.
lol, finally.
Super Excited :D:D

2009-04-30T23:21:00.002+08:00

Gosh, NRA auditions for me will be on 13th, 14th and 15th May.
I guess i will be going on 13th May, try to fight for the first time slot so i can go home for birthday dinner after that.

Well, was telling fel and renee via sms that the more i should go on 13th May since i will be bring birthday luck into the studio with me, plus i will wear those highcuts those girls got from korea for me. Birthday Luck + Lucky shoes, beat that! lol, euminl said 'OK GOOD GOOD, YOU WILL GET INNN!!!' with those luck. haha. hope so, i better get in even with all those luck. if not i'm just not fated to be in dance. but i have talked to renee and will go for 14th and 15th May if i dont make it in my birthday, 13th. :(

I thought i would be emo-ing if i dont get into on my birthday, but if i do, it will be my biggest birthday present as said by renee! its freaking right. so all i need now, which is much more than luck, is God and His guidence!

2009-04-29T22:52:00.001+08:00

Super glad to see her online :)
dont know why, talking to her makes me happy and felt like all my frustration just went to her with that :)

Thanks dear!

2009-04-29T22:10:00.003+08:00

I really feel like ranting so much to her, but she's not online T-T.
"why is she not online out of all times?! :(" - okay, i did sound half mad and disappointed in my head. maybe its those family matters that's why she's not online, or prolly asleep which i'm glad.

why didnt she kill me when i was just born? she should have just straggle me to death like how Lady Macbeth might kill her own newborn child if she had one. at least i wouldnt need to be tortured on earth.

Oh wells, really.
Sometimes when i look back at them, i really feel the urge to work super hard in the future to earn alot of money in the future.
I dont want to be like her. I want to be able to provide my children whatever they need, whatever they want, whatever service they need. I don't mind spoiling them even if their teachers might lecture them in class for being too spoilt, cos i'll just make sure the teacher get a good complain from me. oh well, i want to protect and provide for them. Much more than she can. Cause though we all know that mums are great, but i want to be a better mom than she is.

And i will teach my kids well, tell them what respect and manners is all about. Though i will protect and provide for them, but i will make sure i wack and scold them if they ever dare to be lacking in respect and manners for anyone, especially those older. Seriously, the new generation of children are just the terror of this world cos their parents just don't control them enough. I will make sure my kids dont turn like that.

She better start regarding me as a older sister, cos i totally feel like disowning her already. She will become the big reason why i leave this home.

2009-04-26T01:17:00.004+08:00

Its really freaking how sometimes
what you dreamt in your sleep actually comes true, also known as Deja Vu.
what you thought became reality,
what you wrote and pen down actually happened.

More of these are happening to me.
I'm really wondering what else i dreamt, thought or write will come true next.
:/

-----

School isn't as slack as it seems. I have 2 days off instead of 1 day now, cos my teacher shifted tuesday lessons to Monday for the first 6-7 weeks. But, well, its not that slack after all. I think this semester, there's more to do out of class time than the usual do most of your work during lesson. Lessons like scriptwriting and selfexpression:drama&poetry sure do need most of my ideas that pass through my brain now and then. And korean too, need a lot of revise-on-your own.

So far, seems like work is starting to come in. But really excited to see the end product of the things i'm starting to work on now :)

2009-04-23T23:06:00.004+08:00

for once in my whole entire life, i learnt what lonely is.

I went for korean lessons today, i was back to that self, who sits in the first row in class, all alone.
I was one of the first to be there, and everyone who enters the class quickly finds a sit beside someone they know. And i look around feeling weird, like a total outcast.

"Why does it feels like its totally different in this class when most of my class mates are the same? Everything is the same other than the change in korean teacher and venue of class.."
And i realised, the teacher was the only friend i had. And now that Ms. Han is not teaching me anymore (+ my only friend i made 1/2 through korean lesson last sem was Annie and she is not taking korean this sem). oh wells. i got to understand what jolene meant be really feeling lonely .. to me, so much till the extent that i wanna cry, because this sem's korean (aka korean 102) is very stressful. :( dont feel like going for class next week. but after i talked to mum about korean 102 being difficult, she said "How can you so easily give up on something because its difficult? Running away from the difficult will not do any good to yourself? If you dont go pass this difficulty and study korean, how to be Mrs. Kim?"

Okay, so it was more for being future Mrs. Kim that she wants me to continue studying korean huh. Funny Mummy. But she indirectly gave me that drive to want to continue to choing for my korean. She reminded me the reason why i wanted to take up this language in the first place, because i wanted to go to korea. Be it to work, to study or to just soak in a different culture for 3 months, 6 months or even a year.

Thanks Mum, i know you dont know how much that meant to me though its like indirectly 'selling' your daughter off to Mr. Kim.

On a happier note,
HAPPY BELATED 1month+9days birthday to DONALD :)

i know this is a very lousy photo from my currently very lousy phone
haha, yeah. that's his birthday present AT LAST! i think it looks better for a mac leh, like more class and all. Well, since its a mac pro + donald have 'grown' older, he should get not so childish stuff anymore! But younger sis and er-ge (david) thought the previous one was nicer. so its up to you. haha.

you know how 1 dog year = 7 human years? (means when a dog turns 1 years old after 365days, he is equivalent to 7 year old human) yeah, so for laptops, i made one out. hope it will make sense!

0 years old = Baby
1 years old = Toodler
2 years old = Child
3 years old = Teenager
4 years old = Adult
5 years old = Middle Aged
6 years old = Old Adult (in Donald's case old man)

I hope Donald don't die soon. At least, an Old Man :( Seriously, i think i am the only human on earth that thinks so much about my laptop (a macbook pro for my case), name it, changes his sticker name, buys it present and even doing this human to donald age chart thing. haha

2009-04-21T22:52:00.005+08:00

Suddenly remembered that i have yet used my photobooth for a long while.
decided at last to go and hunt more effects for my photobooth and got it :) lot more fun now with new effects to play with :D

i also at last went online to look for those effects that help me put my photos into them. check them out below!

Using online effects

some film effect. forgot le :X

haha, this was called Celebrity Paparazzi. I guess that just makes me and fel celebs then :)

Everyone is looking at me and heng :D:D

yuri in the museum! :)

alittle camwhore session on photobooth

DO in a box :D, haha. "Save me!! Anyone there?"

this effect is called Retro (-.-). " Its mine! *smirks*"

Christmas. "Wha! Snowflakes!!"

"How dare you cheat me? I'll kill you now. *pulls trigger* BANG!!!!"
I really do kinda of fierce there. :X its that really how i look like when i dao someone?

"BOOOOOO!!!!~~" i know you are so not shocked.

This is called, Spotlight. haha, so must act glam.

That's all. :)

2009-04-21T21:14:00.004+08:00

Super excited for this term ... :)

#1. the modules i'm taking this semester.
Camera & Lighting Effects - saw the super big and amazing green screen. i felt like i am doing something course related at last! first project is a 30 sec commercial with fel in a group. its going to be fun. haha ... was suggesting to fel that we should do heels but .. we'll see .. :D
Scriptwriting - many of you might not know this but started writing scripts since i was 14. I always liked to write my own scripts, controlling the minds of all my character. Just that they were all very sucky in my own opinion. when i reread some of them, its like trash. haha, but ohwells, i wanna start to learn how to end my stories properly so maybe this module will help!

#2. NRA
Quitting Korean Cultural Club and joining NRA (Dance CCA in NP). Yeah, hope i get through auditions and get into the CCA. Plus joce and hannah kept on reminding me that i should go and make some friends. *cos i dont make any friends at my korean lang class the whole of last sem* Once i get through, i should go and buy dance clothes + shoes :D:D

#3. Hanging out with my girls more often.
Havent meet FAMILY for a long while and hanged out enough. Well, naturally we will hang out most during semester, so its great! Plus i get to see my bitch around campus:)

#4. Year 2 at last!
I step closer to graduation!! yeah, in 2 years time, i will be done with poly. Economic recession shall end before that and i will get my job/have the money to go overseas to study :D:D

haha, i love my freshly coated pink nail polish on my fingernail, and silver on toenails.

2009-04-19T01:37:00.005+08:00

Dont know what's wrong with me these days, I've been missing people.
Haha, especially those i just saw like a week or 2 ago.

I was just telling jo on wednesday that i miss her and she just reminded me that we just met the week before for confessions of a shopaholic. Then, i went on and tell her that its been long since we saw jing. And she again reminded me that we met her on the very day we watching confessions of a shopaholic. Oh well, then just yesterday i was trying to spot jing at the njc busstop when my bus passed there, and i told my sister that i miss my pig :( though i saw her last week.

I missed my whole seconday school clique too, though i just met them a week ago too T-T
it was so bad i started to dream of them, like hanging out together, stayovers and all.

I even dreamt of someone else i miss, Heng which also happen that i just met her last week too TT-TT I had quite a number of vivid dreams these days and i happen to see all those i miss :X

Today, i got to meet someone i miss, ISABEL! i was telling her via sms about going to her place for dinner and all and even another message telling her, "I miss you!" Seriously, that doesnt come often from me. lol.

I think these few days at home, i only see Donald and maybe myself in the mirror ... okay, maybe once in a while my older brother and my dad, and my second brother, David is the only one who will come and accompany me when i use Donald. Well, he just disturbs me most of the time, which is great. lol.

Did i mention? That today during CG, when the girls were mentioning about deskmates and all, i totally missed my 2 years deskmate, jo and the whole 3O/4O girls so very much! seriously, i miss those days in MG terribly T-T

Now, I'm missing Isabel all over again though i just saw her a few hours ago. (Bel, you better be reading this!) :(

I miss you, Mummy.
I miss you, Heng.
I miss you girls, 'US' (including Miss Pudding friend, Vera!).
I miss you, Isabel!
I miss you, my pig JING!

I miss you, Heavenly Father.

2009-04-13T23:36:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA, guess what is the other thing i found out!!
I only have friday lessons for one term, so that means, for next sem, i get 2 DAYS OFF FROM SCHOOL! :D:D HAHAHAHA. mean i will have wednesday off and a SUPER LONG WEEKEND :D
hurray for DOUGH!

that also means i only have 5 lessons of drama and poetry T-T

Dough shall be a happy girl now :D

2009-04-13T21:08:00.004+08:00

lol, my timetable for this sem is out AT LAST!!! :D:D guess why am i SO HAPPY :D well you will know soon! here's my timetable.

yay!!!

haha. lol, while i was doing the wordings for my timetable and all, i suddenly remember Matthew always telling me that i am either always having holidays or not going to school even during the semester. well, i guess that seems kinda of true if you just look at my timetable now. lol, i seriously dont know why its so slack. so does joce. well, technically, only thursday is super long day. cos i still have korean from 6-8pm immediately after the previous lesson. other than that, its HAPPY DAY :D hahaha.

i hope the time table DONT CHANGE. well if they decide to change it, they should always just put monday's + tuesday's into one whole long day then i can have 2 days off :D:D lol, then i'll spend most of my days in the week out of school then in school! :D:D HAHAHA. lol.

i remember just telling Matthew, Suzie and Kenna on thursday that i will need to go to school everyday this new semester and all of their response are like 'AT LAST!!! at last you are going to school everyday.' well, they just think i am acting so not like a student for the past year 1 in np. yes, if you havent known, ever since i went poly (other than the dpa days), i havent went school everyday for lessons :X well, dpa is really good okay! get to cut off like so many modules over the 3 years, so its not that i'm slack okay! lol, i think Matthew will tell me that my current timetable is so expected and he will start saying that I'm like not even attending school though i am T-T. fine, Matt you win! haha.

on a heavier note, mum just went to indonesia, actually landing there soon. i will have to be mummy over ~~all my siblings~~ my little children, since my older brother took leave and is staying home all week. haha. oh wells. i should just think of my very cool timetable :D

when i saw that i had wednesdays off, and just found out yesterday that my birthday this year is on a wednesday, i was just SUPER HAPPY PLEASE!? HAHAHAH :D:D.

Happy KOREAN-DO :D:D LALALALA~~*dances around like a crazy girl*

:D:D

2009-04-13T01:10:00.003+08:00

i'm having super mixed feelings now.

All your fault! Coming to mess my world after you messed your own. Well, but do you even realised that your own world, your own life is messed up? Stop appearing infront of me like annoying pop up advertisements, adverts that may look nice but get very annoying that everyone wants to block it.

Anyhow, i am still feeling super shopaholic and heng just called me that when i was showing her nice hairbands online. okay, some of you may not understand but i'm sure jo does cos she knows the kind of hair bands i want ... jo! I found it!! :D:D lol, if i end up not wearing them cos i bought them in a rash, we can add it to our garage sales collection :D:D

i've decided to not buy some of the stuff, like heels, because i really do foresee that they will all end up in dojo's garage sales collection T-T cry with me ... i really want those pretty heels, but they probably will look ugly on me. I suddenly remember what i said today afternoon while shopping with huiqi, melina, rachel and jessie. "Dont need to try it (the dress) on me lah. Anything will look nice on me:D" - where did that confident & ego Dough go? Nah, its just me being more realistic than at that moment.

i dont have gold in the garden so i should stop looking at heels and whatever i dont need. Cause i keep on want to buy the whole korean online shop down T-T only if i own it. lol. i was telling heng the other day ...

do: I need to open a bank when i grow up
heng: (gives the confused look) why?
do: So i can save money :D:D

because i was telling her, that i've asked jo to be the one who controls my saving. We were planning for a trip to taiwan next year and i was telling jo its impossible for me to save $1000 without spending any of them in the middle of saving it. Then, we've decided that jo will keep all my money and remind me how much i have left to reach $1000. lol.

okay, i'm really being super hyperactive and mad at this hour of the day. lol, must be all the craziness that went through me when i was looking at all the products at the korean online shop. HAHAHA.

i should be heading to bed soon. since mum asked me to learn some home related stuff before she departs for Indonesia for a whole week. Dough will be transforming to Mummy of the Soon house soon T-T

2009-04-09T15:29:00.003+08:00

haha, just decided to import all my posts from my previous 2 blogs here. that's why my freaking 'replay' list is so long. lol. read some post and realised that i used to blog happier in the past. well, i guess its how people grow and how people mature. ... and how the reality of this world does eat into every child hearted person eventually. this world is evil.

--
and i'm super glad this is my longest blog running. haha, my past 2 blogs are from AUG 2005 - DEC 2006 while korean-do.blogspot.com JAN 2007 - currently APRIL 2009 :D its the korean effect!!! haha, lol. i dont remember telling many people, but other than typing my account names as korean-do, i dont even know what else to give my account name as!! lol, seriously, korean-do have slowly became my second name. actually, i like the name korean-do better than doreen, like how i prefer people to call me do/dough than doreen

2009-04-09T02:01:00.002+08:00

I
AM
THE
SHOPAHOLIC
!!

i swear i am.
seriously, with the amount i keep on spending, i will be the life story of the Confession of the Shopaholic or probably, my story will be on Confession of the Shopaholic 2.
T-T its like, you know you shop alot, but you just cannot stop your eyes from looking at those pretty products.
this are the only times i hate online blogshops. you dont even need to step out of the house to look at those pretty products lying in the shops. you just need to go online T-T

damn, only if there was no recession, only if i had found a job and worked T-T i wouldnt even need to worry when i shop online.

i am worrying for my wants while many people on this earth are worrying for their needs, like meeting their 3 meals, or even just their next meal. how fortunate we are but yet we dont see it?
even Donald, this mac i'm typing on ... how he can actually be the living expenses for a month or 2 for some family while to me, its just my laptop, that cannot be used to be eaten as survival?

we all need to start thinking about these.

Thank jo, jocelyn and kenna for talking to me online today :)
sorry for making joce feeling guilty and bad about spending too T-T

2009-04-08T23:42:00.005+08:00

i think i have yet post up this video on my blog. so here it is!

Gummy ft. TOP - I'm Sorry (Eng subbed)

the girl says i'm sorry over the phone repeatedly in the beginning of the mv.

yeah, i dont know why i didnt post this much earlier, but i really liked this mv as well. it was so .. shocking, i remember crying when i first watched the mv without subs. ( haha, i'm posting mvs/videos real often these days :X)

okay, now it seems like i only watch emo mvs. well, since they leave the deepest impression on me. i dont know how's is it for everyone, but emo sad songs and emo sad dramas ... okay, whatever that is sad and emo are the most impactful thing to me, i tend to remember those sad emo scenes from drama, movies and mv. even song! they are the songs that get stuck in my head.

well, its not like you know me, emo-do for the first day.
--
i need to improve my vocals. anyone has any recommendation how to other than getting professional training?

2009-04-06T01:08:00.001+08:00

okay, here's my new blogskin:) its been ages since i've changed one! i've used that blog skin for sooo very long!
so tough to look for nice blogskins at blogskins.com now.
lol, okay. i should only do amends tmr cos i'm beat from just finding the right looking skin.

2009-04-05T23:09:00.003+08:00

I was very sick on thursday and friday, till the extent of thinking that i'm dying. lol, after i posted that post of being so crazy about sleeping 3 hrs, i went for a short nap and i woke up feeling very feverish. lol.

yeah, well. i really thought it was going to be dengue cos my mum kept on scaring me. so i kept like crying and couldnt eat properly. its not dengue since i'm fever is okay now :)
haha, but i still dont eat properly even until now. dont know, maybe its my medicine? i remember like eating very little these days. like today, i had my 3 meals, but for lunch and dinner, i only had like about ... 5 mouths of carbo. which is ... hmm, bad. haha, maybe its the medication that makes me lose my appitite. its a good way to keep greed piggish Do to not eat so much.

haha, had ex-co meeting today and i was like having self-control the whole time to not eat the snacks. lol, cos i will just need to take more medicine if i just pop in one biscuit.
ohwells, its been really long since i've gotten fever ... so .. haha :) why am i so excited about being sick? crazy .. i told you i'm mad.

i've been tuning in to good korean emo songs and i'm loving it so much!

2009-04-02T15:17:00.002+08:00

wha, today is craziness.

last night, i slept at the almost usual timing, 3am. well, its not that i was online till then too! lol, i actually went offline at last 1am (i think 1.45am if i'm not wrong!). went to bed at about 2am.
tossed and turn, i couldnt sleep cos i kept on coughing so hard. Suddenly this though came into my head, "don't tell me the previous i was sick, i didnt fully recover?!" . and it was it.

i pulled some sheets into mum's room and sleep on the floor area beside parent's bed.
T-T i felt like i really make my appearance big. lol, cos i went there and end up kept on coughing. Manage to stop coughing at about 2.45am then i started to feel flu-ish, how awesome.. seriously.
yeah, so i slept at about 3-3.30am. didnt really manage to sleep much but i woke up at 6am when mum's alarm went off. then i couldnt sleep le, but i wasnt even 100% sleeping to begin with.

it have been SO SO SUPER LONG since i woke up at 6am. the last time probably ... camp last dec? but i remember going back to sleep and snoozing till everyone was awake, so probably the last time i got to see the 6am sky was like since i was ... sec 3/4? (i usually wake up at 6.30am to go school during sec school days)

yeah, so technically i slept for like 2-3 hrs and i feel as if i slept for 10-12 hrs. seriously! no joke! (talking about joke, i had an awful joked played on me on a forum on april fool's T-T, make me feel super dumb.)

so now i'm typing this when i only slept for 2-3 hrs, and i actually did house work which i usually dont with even 14 hrs of sleep. lololol. but i'm going to make sure i sleep at 8-9am? so i'll still get my 14 hrs of sleep:) dad told me to go bed at 6pm TT_____TT does that mean i need to skip dinner? i dont mind! LOLOL, well since i manage to eat breakfast today :)

woah this is a super wordy post, but seriously this day is going to be like a milestone in my life. the day that doreen only slept 2-3 hrs but felt like she had 10-12 hrs instead.

oh wells, haha. but i'm seriously sick once again T-T refused to go and see doctor because i'm like visiting clinics/hospitals monthly this year .. bad.
i'm done with flu, block nose, cough and a pain throat TT----TT
who wants to exchange nose and lungs with me? a throat would be nice as well!
TTTTT_____________TTTTT

2009-04-01T22:37:00.009+08:00

This MV just broadcast on 31st March, yeah.
Caught it first time yesterday and think it was great! rewatched a couple of times and managed to find the english subtitled ones today, finally!!!

Haha, i know some of you just like browse through when you see people post videos on their blog at times, and i know time is precious! so i've decided to post a teaser (which is kinda of like a preview) of the Full MV here too, and it takes you a few seconds to watch it! lol.

[Teaser] K.Will - My Tears Are Dropping (Eng Sub)

[Full MV] K.Will - My Tears Are Dropping (Eng Sub)

i had trouble reading these subs too ... but you will use to it :)

Anyhow, today, finally got to watch LAST EPISODE OF BOYS OVER FLOWERS :):)
haha, its the end to BOF fangirling TT-TT
and to me ... the ending was like ... okay lah. at least they didnt end it pathetically... lol. haha, you know. like how some dramas will just anyhow when the popular turns very popular. lolol.
but its a good show to catch! especially for girls who fantazise alot! lol, i'm sure you can't find any guy like Goo Jun Pyo or Jihoo on this earth. well, if you do know of one, please dont forget to tell me :D:D haha, i mean does a rich, nice, sweet, loving and handsome guy who loves you alot exist on this earth? get real, they dont. even if they do, they will still lose to Goo Jun Pyo and Jihoo (especially Jihoo since i like him:D)

2009-03-30T17:55:00.003+08:00

i'm eating so much these days, its freaking gross.
i'll probably drown Singapore if i continue to keep on eating.
pig.

2009-03-24T02:39:00.003+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Where Your life is Going
Disappointment
Looked down on
Commitment
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What kind of popular are you? Your Result: Life of Party Your the person that everyone follows and wants to be around. People look to you for advice and want to be your friend. If your not at a party its not a party
Follower with potential of a leader
Your a total follower
What kind of popular are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-03-20T11:19:00.003+08:00

Nothing else to say.
Gosh, i just suck to the core.

Super pissed by the fact that i still kinda of dont know what i want.
i was talking so much to fel about everything.
and we felt like 5 years old girls making big dreams.

is it the path for me?
did i not pray before i enter all these?
but, part of me thinks that all these is not my future job scope.

and i just realised that, i'm not good at anything.
not good anything enough to make that particular thing something that i can earn money with.
or is it that i dont have enough confidence and courage to turn something i may seem to be good at into my future job, one that can feed me in the future and make me feel happy when i work.

sucks.

2009-03-17T16:34:00.006+08:00

BoA's first English album is released today!!! :D
AHHHHH~~ yes. i know all BoA fans are super happy! the day we've been waiting for!

Heard the whole full album, its really good!
some of the songs that she sang, really didnt sound like her!
cos the songs she have in this album, most of them is something she never tried before, which is still great!
her english is improving. its good!!
i think she can have success in debuting and doing well in the America market!
BoA, hwating!!

Here's a video that contains all the previews of BoA's new album's songs :D
Enjoy~~ :D

haha, there goes DO being crazy over BoA again.
told you she never fails to impress me!
BoAjjang!

2009-03-17T00:54:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday, my dear Bitch :D
lol, you can do all your drinking legally now. and whatever else you want to do :X
hahahahahaha. just stay bitchy forever! haha ..
----
To G:
i feel useless because i can't seem to do anything for you when you are suffering all the pain and heartaches.
i feel super useless as a friend once again. well, i think i probably am one.
but well, i know that the only thing i can do is just be there for you?

---
Its like i finally saw the last episode of a drama. i finally saw the episode that reveals everything. yeah, i didnt know, i'm so sorry.
all those sufferings and burdens you carried alone, its a stupid for me to not even realise and see them. to think that i thought it was you being you, and i think i am the one being super childish.
well, how i hope you will just talk to me when you need a shoulder.
but then again, maybe you dont wanna show me your weak side.
i'll be here.

--
to all my readers: sorry again. haha, i know some have told me that my blog dont really like make sense sometimes. but ohwells .. haha. cos only people involve will understand? well, sometimes even the person themselves dont even know its them.

2009-03-15T22:29:00.003+08:00

my life the past week was .. ~~b0ring~~ NOT!! LOL, i found so many things to do last week.
here it goes.

monday - went to jo's place to help her older sister, Yvonne with preparations for her booth in SMU. They have an online blog, www.the6thavenue.com, which sells girls clothes and all. yeah, helped them with designing of their posters.
tuesday, wednesday & thursday - went down to SMU with jo to the booth to sell and publicize the booth + online shop. yeah, it was really an experience. haha :) it was really fun. cos jo's there and the new friends i met there was really nice :D i remember having a bbq dinner at jo's place on tuesday and airport dinner with jo + auntie + yvonne on thursday :D

friday - at last, manage to grab almost 12 hrs of sleep!! met jo + jing at a korean restuarant to eat. it was so so lah, so i'm not going to name which korean restuarant we went too :X haha, then walked alot along bukit timah with jing while jo went home to pack her luggage to japan. lol, she flew the next morning at 1am.

haha, so i practically met jo every day from monday to friday. lol, actually to speak so, i met jo + her mum (auntie) + her older sis (yvoone) for a whole 5 days. haha. i think i'm going to miss jo badly since she's going to be in japan for another 8 days. haha. :(

continuing
saturday - DONALD's BIRTHDAY FOR THOSE WHO DIDNT KNOW :X well, Heng was the only one who wished Donald happy birthday. haha, lol. Though my second brother did say happy birthday to him a day earlier but he smacked donald's head as a present T______T, hurt my donald .. i have yet got him anything :X earthwired. it was .. okay lah. as people who know me well, i dont like these kind of social stuff. so, oh wells. luckily i was a helper. haha, if not i wouldnt even appear there to begin with.

so far i've been ...
(still) crazy over k-pop/korea/koreans,
(still) watching and spazzzzing over Boys Over Flowers, 꽃보다 남자,
(still) crazy over jihoo/hyunjoong :D,
(still) quite busy,
stuck to BoA's Eien,
waiting for more Super Junior's Comeback, Sorry Sorry!!,
saving money for LG ice cream,
(still) loving all my girlfriends :D (you know who you are),
.... :D

okay, i think i seem like a happy girl at last. lol.

2009-03-15T21:20:00.008+08:00

BoA - Eien perf you can skip the first 45 secs if you want. 'Cos BoA just talking :D

by the way, she's korean. just that she have been in the jap entertainment market for a while and is going into the america market. so she speak good jap and good enough to understand english :D.

ahh, seriously, she's the best. she's really good in dance and her vocals are awesome. she never fails to impress me.
i've been listening to her since i was sec 2, when i saw seem to be some werido who listens to jap and korean music in school. LOL.
5th year listening to BoA, and she never bores me. she just .. so so good. :D
so you should watch the video if you havent! she's really ... the best artist i've seen so far!

i shall update about my recent life in a while. :D

2009-03-05T13:33:00.005+08:00

This fans are crazy. they draw SO SO well. gosh, i dont mind anyone drawing something so nice for me!!! :) its perfect mann!!
I tried to look for the photo of Hyun Joong closest to what they have drawn so you can appreciate the great drawing of this korean fan better!
she's really good! ahhhh! i wanna friend her.. HAHAHA :D
enjoy.

crap lah, she draw until like its really the photo itself in black and white version. ahhh!!
i can never draw until something like that lor .. . T__T

2009-03-04T17:05:00.002+08:00

wha, now i understand how cruel and guiltless some people can be.
they spoil something you have put in so much time and effort .. then they tell you that now its useless since i dont need it anymore, then they walk away without even a apology or a sorry, and they dont even want to try to help you fix that thing.

shit it.

humans are the worst.

2009-03-04T16:59:00.002+08:00

today started off very badly. and i dont wanna publish the whole story to the whole world. because there's no point in doing so.

when i was just lying on bed and thinking of how this day will be super bad, Apple called me up telling me that Donald is ready to discharged :)
so, i went down to town alone to get donald. haha, didnt really want to ask around for people to accompany me cos i didnt want to bother anyone and i need Donald back badly.

yeah ... just when i on Donald and started to admire it a little, another bad thing happen.
Doretta just killed my model -_______-

its destined to be an awful day for me.
it just cant get any worst, cos i will just go and sleep the remaining day off if one more day thing is coming my way.

sucks mannn.

2009-03-04T02:05:00.004+08:00

dont know for what particular reason, i have this funny feeling inside of me. well i cant really describe it ...

then again, i always have weird retarded emotions.
those that make me high and happy for a particular moment or hour,
those that make me super emo for ages,
those that make me super troubled and dont know what to do.

fine, its probably just me.

---
went out for dinner at Buddy's with bitch, L, renee and fel.
we had a great talked during dinner, which was great.
it have been a while since i've caught up with euminl in person. lol, we usually just talk everything online ...
then we headed to school, to do some nra stuff. well, not me or L, its for the other 3:)
haha, then i was telling them how i want to join nra. should i?
i hope i can still cope with school and all even after i join. but will they even take me to begin with?

well, cos i feel at least more human now. that period of being 'a physically dead person' is over.
i feel like a human now, a normal human. i can run, i can play sports like anyone else.
i need to go and do whatever i was doing, whatever i wanted to do before i had my whole back screwing up on me.

Thank God.

but half of me secretly still wants to be physically disabled.
----
one more day closer to Donald's return :)
missmiss him :/

2009-03-02T23:22:00.003+08:00

i'm listening to my korean song via youtube & online players.
how pathetic :(

edit: lol, i have to put my online playlist here ... lol, so i dont have to go through all the trouble to keep on loading the songs :D
enjoy them!!