WATCHED DEATH NOTE!! yesterday with my cousin at J8. suprisingly, its wasnt very pack. maybe everyone alr watched it. ITS REALLY NICE OKAY ANGELA TEO!! HA! i cant wait for DEATH NOTE 2 showing in december..
staying in my cousin's house till tmr. yeah.
TO ALL MY DARLINGS FLYING OFF TMR: I WILL MISS ALL OF YOU!! darlings include joanne, lydia, cassie, raina, genia, trina, angie, vitoria, elieen, mil .. okay, i cant think of anyone else at the moment..HA! yeah, will miss you guys lots. hope you all have fun AND BUY SOMETHING BACK FOR ME. taiwan girls!, I WANT TVXQ's ALBUM!!
OPPS. i realised that i didnt post my clique's dinner we had on monday evening. i have been going out to eat alot. so i am BROKE and FAT now. you dont wanna guess how much i gained and i most likely wouldnt tell you!
FISH&CO(monday dinner) i was so glad we could gather at last. everyone in our clique is always so busy. but vera wasnt there.. sighx, i dont know if we can seriously pull thru to next year.. it was suppose to be a stayover, but miscommunications and all, we couldnt have it. i still feel quite bad about it knowing that we cant have a FULL clique stayover at vera's place after she flies back from japan. everyone is like flying to everywhere even after the sabb trips. sighx. but, i really enjoyed myself that night. FISH&CO, ROCKS!
IMM(thursday dinner) went out with jing, jo and her cousin. before that we were at jo's place talking and playing poker.. HA! it was quite fun though.. yeah, dinner was in imm at this place which served hong kong food. ROCKS! the food there are SO GOOD! its a little ex though but i guess its worth it. i love the sago ice cream!
i need to go on a HEAVY DIETing. its so bad, i need to get into shape. since i havent and cannot exercise for the past 4 weeks by now, i need to loss weight by controlling my diet. sighx, back to square one.
i am considering going for drill comm now and help makk in her contingent. but im afraid if i suddenly go back like that now, the teachers will give me a trashing 1st and make me the commander of another contingent rather than just staying in makk's contingent. cos i heard that i was suppose to be one, but my back was in the way. my back, or rather tailbone, still hurts its just that, there is no use complaining about it since the pain would probably be there the whole of my life. and i dont even have the medication for it anymore. i seriously NEED to see the doctor soon.
bad mood from yesterday. i dont know what exactly cos my mood. maybe its just her. but i hope tonight's party will bring my mood up. .... .... ...
I TOTALLY CANT STAND HER i know some of you know her so i should say much.
sighx, its the age gap problem. i seriously think it is. plus the characters crash and all. since i can get along with the 2 older ones, its the age gap problem. CANT STAND IT ANYMORE.
i wouldnt attempt to type her name out her in case someone comes and scolds me for blogging this.
i am so retarded. i just finished posting the previous one like just 1/2 hrs ago and i am posting another one. LASALLE-SIA college of arts. yeah! i found a new route to go after my Os and my mum approve it. now my carrer scope have widden a lot as my mum allows me to do arts in the future..ROCKS! at least i dont feel so restricted now and can do what i like doing..:)
CHOICE NO. 1: study music in LASALLE-SIA CHOICE NO.2: study interior design in LASALLE-SIA CHOICE NO.3: go ngee ann and take early childhood studies _________________________________________________
wanted to take dance, or rather study dance as my second choice. but since my back is still in this condition and my mum disapproves cos of it, i cant. sigx, i wanna fix it before Os.. how i wish all these didnt happen...
FUNFAIR WAS SO FUN not exactly acutally. i was invovled in haunted house and i say that ITS A SUCCESS! i was like playing the freaky music there LIVE! which haunted house will put a person on the keyboards for like dont know how many hours? HA! though my role is a little of mental killer cos you just keep on playing the same thing at the corner of the room, it was pretty tiring cos i was one of the roles that have to last thru the whole time cos the music had to be there. but, i FOUND joy in doing sometime so routine for 3.5hrs. while i play the freaky music, i was eating and listening music at the same time.. HA! how pro right, multi-tasker... ROCKS! i didnt feel that bored after all. but, i got really sick of all the scary stuff happening in the room. its not scary at all, its just like .. funny..HA! we scare so many primary kids and even made some cry.. okay, we are sorry but this is a haunted house. all the thoughts that this was going to be a totally flop just vanish out of my head.. ITS SO COOL!! the plot and all was so good. but the materials we had to decorate the room was ... weird. lots of black plastic bags around.. ha! that was practically what we used. and ripped out old soft toys and barbie dolls. found out something today GIRLS ARE MORE AFRAID OF DOLLS more than they wanna play with it.. we had lots to clear up after doing the long long queue we had, argh. its so.. DIRTY!! but who cares man.. HA! oh! now i know why i am getting all the aches. now, i am aching everywhere and my back hurts like crazy. maybe i stood there or sat for too long. yeah, and perhaps the clearing of everything in the room just made it worst.. I CANT WALK PROPERLY NOW. going to see the doctor tmr to get a bag load of medication for penang. HA! I AM NOT AN OLD GRANNY XIANG!! dont you dare say that on my tagboard anymore..HA!
Acepella is really cool. i wanna form an acepella band too! HA! i have so many things i wanna do. i wanna a rock band, dance band, acepella band .. this is only the things i wanna fufil for a band. the list goes on and on. i wanna be perfect pitched too, i will train myself up after i am done with pro-ing myself in harmonising and acepella-ing.. realising that learning korean is really NUTS and that jap is acutally much easier, I WILL PERSERVER
my back is so annoying. always there to give me trouble. ANYONE WANT A BACKBONE TRANSPLANT WITH ME?? i know no one does.. its okay. i will stay alive with this stupid back.. argh. at least i had one, imagine someone without a backbone... SNAKE! trying to make myself happy enough to stop thinking of that long bone just behind me. i wanna be normal..
i think my dream will work out somehow. but i still wanna lead a normal life. i will see what HE thinks about it. and i will follow. i need HIM to help me follow what he have laid for me for my future he wants.
he is BACK dancing and singing..YEAH! everything seems fine. but i will check it again:) i dont know whats with all the lines.. but FLORIDA's NATURAL nuggets are sickly addictive. i thought i got away with the addiction months ago.. but i ate so much today that you dont wanna know how many boxes!
i am feeling much better now. thanks for everyone's concern. to those weird people out there, i dont ACT emo just to get attention. i AM emo sometimes. yeah, i hate fakers.
off that topic now, i feel really relieve that i made the mark. I AM PROMOTED!! the phrase that never came across my mind this 2 weeks. im happy, my chem pass on the dot, so thats how i pass.. ha.
emo-ness off for a while. but i am still very worried for him even though a heavy load is off me now. i will continue to pray... THANK YOU FATHER:)
squeak was so nice today. she gave me a box of KOREAN biscuits. yeah, KOREAN!! she went to a korean stall with her mum the other day and she thought of me, so she got it.. SO SWEET<3 THANKS SQUEAK!, the biscuits rocks. when i was looking at the box, i saw that its called chocothinthin. thin thin... hmm. and then, slim style chocolate for girls maybe thats why she got it for me..HA! i heard of this biscuit before quite a while back though i didnt go korea. cos BOA ADVERTISE FOR IT!! do you know how great is it to eat something that someone you admire so much eat it as well?? HA!, i feel so great and happy!! i was like so happy and excited when i opened it. when i popped it into my mouth, i was like 'BOA eat this BOA eat this!!' she is like someone i really admire from the bottom of my heart and someone i wanna put as my role model, though she is all the way at korea. the biscuit so ROCKS! i love squeak.
going to penang. SO EXCITED! thinking about spending a week with faith and rachel, i am going nuts. trina was so nice to lend me her mp3 and rachel her earpiece. HA! i feel like buying it from her now.. hmm.. let me think about it.
nothing much today. going to meet clique at orchard for dinner. fish&co... ROCKS! I <3 US <3 korea!!
i have been moody these few days. yes, its the side effects from getting back your terrible results. i felt really sad and all today in church. i dont know why. i just cant seem to concentrate in everything i did. i couldnt give my 100% during prayer meeting like always, i was like in my own world during sunday school and i was stoning during service. i guess i just have lots to worry. i dont even know what caused me to be like that. i was really thinking about alot of stuff. but at the wrong time that is. sighx, hope the stayover would be fun though. i think i should go see doctor tmr to get my medication for my back again.. or maybe wednesday.. i dont know. i am feeling confused, worried, emo, depressing over everything.
i was in service today and in the mids of my stoning and thinking, i heard the speaker asking a question, 'are you happy? rate your happiness from 1 - 10(1-least, 10-most) it was only then i asked myself honestly, am i happy? is the doreen living in me happy? no, i doubt i ever was. really, the more happy i appear, the most terrible i feel inside. thats why i always go crazy over boybands, to make myself feel a tinge of happiness at the moment of my life. bring a little true smile to my sad life. i rate myself as 3 then the speaker asked us, 'those who rate yourself below 4 pls raise up your hand'. what a question to ask. i didnt raise up, i didnt want to get attention. i dont want everyone to ask me why 3. i didnt want to do an explanation in front of people i dont open up to. i will just end up crying again and run out of the worship hall. i dont want people to see me weak. so, i choose to keep my hand beside me.
the saddest people around are those who smile the most. irony, yet true. at least for me. maybe its just another dissappointment faced by doreen. its just another time that doreen will resent her life and herself. this cannot be helped. i am an introvert. i dont like talking about myself.
being perfect is really something really difficult for everyone to achieve. but to me, being normal is already something so far away for me. something that does not belong to me anymore. someone who is allege to seafood, who have skin problem, who is unable to even run, who cannot even look at the celling of her room when she is sitting or standing up, who hate herself. i am not normal. thats how the word special come about. i agree that living everyday differently is a good thing, not having routine life is a good thing. but living a life that allows you to meet so many problem everyday is not exactly good.
i have a head bigger than normal people and i hate that, thats why i am never in a hairband.. apparently my head doesnt feel comfortable with it. after giving up the thought of taking too much care of my weight, i notice that my height is totally abnormal. everyone is like teasing you about your height and its so irritating. how they start comparing to people younger than you who are already pass your height... PLS DONT DO THAT TALLies. its annoying. but fine, i accept my height finally a few days ago that being short is actual better off being too tall. why on earth do girl's need to be tall? thats what the heels are for right.. moreover, guys will feel inferior if their girl is too tall. realising that i am such a sad person compared to everyone else, i am officially a abnormal person.
to think of it now, the turning point of my life was in pri 6. it was that year that i started to laugh alot, joke around alot and open up to people around me, started to make lots of friends. i guess thats was also when i started to put on my mask. maybe at that moment of time, i needed friends, so the mask appears. the mask continues to be there until now. its just that, i am more obvious to when i wear that mask. in front of everyone else i wear that mask. only my bed and HE sees everything.
dont laugh at people who plays with soft toys or keep a couple on their beds. they feel insecure, thats why its there. i used to have 20 when i was like 5. then 10 when i was 6-7. i just loved soft toys then. apparently i talk to them before i sleep. after that, it decreased to 5, then 3. pooh, tweety and torto will be there with me. for these 3 years. until my cousin started taking them away from my bed and made them really dirty. no toys now, its my phone. i acutally need to listen to a 'bedtime' song before i sleep. i needed to talk to people who i will never meet before bed.
A picture that gets smeared in white And my fragrance that seems to have faded away All get concealed by the glaring cloud
My heart that has no words Slowly starts to move my feelings Those times that slipped through Are in my hands
I'm holding back the tears I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart To a place that is neither close nor far Where a different me stands I will not cry
I bring my two hands together again To a place that will hear it As I live though these unmemorable times
The pain that I want to let go Dries the tears that flows through my body
I'm living with my tears I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart To a place that is neither close nor far Where a different me stands I will not cry
I'm holding back the tears I run adding to the weight of my faith To a place that is neither high nor low Where a different me stands again With a small smile I can laugh
i guess everyone just have a different sad story in their life. just that, i am not the type who will talk it out but type it out. yeah. doreen's story, my blog.
im sorry father. i have drifting too fast, too far for too long away from you the minute i thought that i was close to you. everything is happening too fast. i really hope that i can hide things away from your knowing. i dont wanna you see me like that. so that i can turn to you with a smile once i settle down my emotions. sorry.
doreen is feeling a little better now from getting back the results. i just realised that i am being really negative and all when people comfort me. just call me stubborn, cos i am really one. i am, in fact, a VERY stubborn person and pretty strong headed. so i refuse to believe anything that i dont think sounds logical to my small brain. PLUS I AM VERY NEGATIVE!! yeah, i am just like that.. its going to be pretty hard to change me..
wanted to go caps ball in church today. but i got scolded by my dad from running about 3-5m yesterday. cos i waiting for him and his lorry just went pass me, so its natural to chase the vechicle.. and i got a scolding.. yeah, so it would be difficult for me to exercise from now on.
went to school to do haunted house with jo and squeak with jo's one call...HA! and my back hurts like crazy.. cos did play a little while we set the place up. 3Oers, can you guys pls help?? yeah, though i am not going on that day i think cos i need to see a doctor, but i really can tell that squeak needs lots of help and support..
i am so thankful for RUTH! even though she says that she is 2361.90 miles away from me, SHE IS SUCH A NICE FRIEND:)
MGROCS IS SO NICE:) but thinking about it, i cant remember much about it. i shouldnt blog too much about it before people start throwing eggs at me. but i think laoshi should have done xiaowei... it would be so much funnier..HA!
why is so many bad things happening on good people? i cant believe people in this world can be so mean.. adding superglue into other people's drink is not a funny or small thing you know. how can you do that? i am so worried that i am going to cry now.. you cant blame him or call him stupid for drinking the orange juice. he didnt even know that you added something(superglue) into it. he trusted us so much and you have to spoil the trust. you are so mean. knowing that he is in hospital, 24hrs closely watched under the hands of the doctors and nurses, i finally understood how serious things are. i hate you.
just imagining someone you trusted gave you a bottle of drink that contains superglue in it. after taking a gulp of it, you realised that your mouth is stuck to the bottle. you need to 'detach' your mouth away from the bottle by force cos you need to spit/vomit whatever you drank. after you vomit it out, you just turn unconscious and need to be admitted into the hospital to get everything out.. DISGUISTING!! PAINFUL!! i am so worried..
this incident taught me another lesson, dont trust people too easily. its not that its bad to trust others. but as most of you know, i tend to trust others TOO MUCH and dont believe that they will do me bad. hence, i end up always as the victim. dont blame me for being dao and a person hard to make friends with cos i wouldnt talk to you until i know you well enough. its just what i learn from all the painful cheated experience in life.
dont worry people. i dont happen to be this poor fellow and its not exactly from someone really close to me.. HA! so quit guessing. you probably dont know him. just ask me if you are interested, but prepare for it man..
I HATE PEOPLE WHO GET JEALOUS OVER OTHERS COS OF THEIR TALENTS!! this is getting so annoying and i just feel like killing the person.. argh. DONT WORRY I WOULDNT BE MACBETH AND KILL THAT PERSON even though i really feel like
holding back the tears, sing it with your heart, dance it out doreen's moto for the remaining months of 2005 and for 2006.
i will keep you in my prayers. hope you will be discharge soon and get well from this incident. really hope the side effects would be really great.. i feel your pain..
[***NOTE!!: this post is DEFINATELY not referring to anyone. its just to doreen soon and herself alone. if anyone offended by my agitated mood when i type this post, i am sorry. this is just ME....] the pictures on my blog sways to my mood. i am a person who dont put my true emotions on my face .. as in, i dont smile cos i am happy. i smile for the sake of smiling. so if my pics are black and white, dont come near me..
4 days since my last post. these 4 days, i experienced huge emotional attacks. if you dont understand my previous line, i dont exactly know what i am trying to type here. its just ... pls read on.
HAPPY: i have at last achieve a high B3 for my chinese. though my aim is to get an A1 by next year, its a good start for me and i am so glad that all the efffort for staying back for lao shi's extra lesson was worth it.. GOONG-ing like mad and managed to finish it on tuesday from 6-12am with 7 espisode.. rushed like mad! 1st time rushing ever since the exams are over. examss.... curse it..
went out with jo yesterday,KAP okay, i know. what a place to go after the exams. we were there to celebrate for .. okay, this sound really weird.. the both of us are called the F9 club. now you can expect a really emo post from doreen once again. exam are so terrible. i guess we werent not exactly very happy deep down inside. but to think that there will be a friend with you who is going thru everything with you, i feel really glad.. as in, she will be there. its not that i am glad that a friend flunk so many subs with me, its just that, i am not alone. it was quite obvious that we were cheering each other up until 5 talking crap. talking about retaining together and transferring together and going to the same poly together in the future, i know we are going to pull thru all these together.. i love JO:)
EMOTIONALly attacked.. wondering how bad doreen meant by flunk. i really mean flunk FLUNK! i cant believe how my world can crash down on me as such a time like this. how can i fail like 5 subs out of 8. you will never know how i am feeling even though you can be comforting me and all online, on the phone or talking to me or just asking me to stop crying. i am sick of living.. i really am.. for those of you who are close to me, you know that i started studying for this exams a freaking 2 months before. 1st time MUGGING SO HARD FOR MY EXAMS, i did the worst in my whole entire life. i even did better for pri 6 and sec one, the 2 years i slack thru the most and still making the mark. the moral of the story here is DONT STUDY TOO HARD FOR YOUR EXAMS COS YOU WILL FAIL! i feel so cheated, its like everyone have been lying to me. i know you guys always comforted me and all when i cry in school. but, you will never know how it feels to fail 5 sub. only jo and sharon understands. cos they did their part and studied too.. why is everything like that? i dont know. just call it my fate. this eoys gave me a lot of sleepless nights. its not that i was burning midnight oil or something, its that i just cant sleep thinking that the exams is going to be in 10-20 days. thats how early i started freaking out for the eoys. thats how early i got so stressed out for this freaking damn bastard examinations!!! what the F***! i know, i am so pissed at myself to the extent of not going to care about what i say. i dont wanna retain! I DONT WANNA GET ADVANCED! looking at my CA results and eoys, its like yi ge tian yi ge di. doesnt even look like my results. i bet if the teachers sees it, they will doubt my results or something. from Bs to Fs.. what the F.. i failed literature, amaths, chemistry, physics, ss/history yes, doreen can just go and die. my gosh. which idiotic retarded ass who mugged 2 months before hand can fail 5 subs?? do: (raises up hand)ME!!! I AM THE IDIOTIC RETARDED ASS! i am so sick of these.. i just wanna run away! i feel such an embarrassment now when i stay near to friends who score so freaking high or pass their exams. yes, inferior.. i am like shit! apparently, that sounded a little like my clique. they all score so freaking high and now i dont feel like hanging around too much with them. its like throwing their face for having such a dumb ass as a friend.. how bad can doreen's life get?? back problem, skin problem, neck problem, I AM SICK OF MY LIFE!! CAN EVERYTHING JUST END HERE??!?!?!?! another attack on me and i am going to have an heartattack here and collapse and better die.
i am seriously sick of doreen's life. how i wish and i can enter someone else's life and be happy. how future is so dark till i have to worry so much for what will happen tmr. what if the teacher comes up to me with a letter that state that doreen is out of mgs? seeing how dissappointed my parents will be, i feel like smashing my damn head into the wall.
yeah, you probably see me in school going around smiling at everyone and laughing and telling everyone that i failed 5 subs, pls let me be like that. this is the only way i can place that mask over my face and act normal and tell everyone is no big deal failing your exams. this is the only way i can run away from reality for a little while. thats why i am still going to school. all i can do now, it to go to school and cheer myself up with my cranky jokes on others.. all i can do before i leave is to leave a good impression on everyone and do something that will allow everyone to remember me even after i leave a place i am been for almost my whole life. pls dont tell me how my CAs can save me and its okay cos its only the exams. duh its okay for you, cos you havent gone thru it. i know which subs can my CAs save me and i know that i am in deep SHIT down... ARGH!! i must be prepared for a transfer or retaining and not able to spend time with my friends even though many still choose to pon. i will just accept the fact and visit and cold dark room once again with my tears.. i am sick of .. sick of everything.. I DONT WANNA CRY ANYMORE. i know crying will not change the fact that i failed 5 subs or turn back time, but thats the only thing i can do now to make me stop thinking about all these. my eyes are hurting from crying.. they really are.. PLS SAVE ME!
sighx, to those people who complains nonstop about failing one sub or get really depressed over that one D7/E8/F9 or one more mark to your A1: PLS STOP IT!! you all just make me feel worse!! i am not aiming at anyone. i am just speaking for those people like me who failed almost all subs. your presence just make us feel more inferior. and when i say 'can you stop saying you failed just because of one mark?? just think about me man. i failed 5 subs and i am still sitting here listening to your one sub complain' , pls stop your whining.
I SUCK!! throw eggs at me pls. those people who did well for your exams, congrats. i have nothing else to say cos i am not in the mood to sighx, i will just walk away to my slient corner.
yeah, squeak loves TVXQ tooo.. okay... you should be wondering why the pic is so small.. or why i didnt show the whole conversaion.. cos i forced her to say it as she was talking bad about them...HA!
I AM SO HAPPY even though my blog cheated on me. after typing a 1000 word long entry.. it just vanished into thin air...ARGH! GOONG is such a nice show!! yep, yet another k-drama recommendation from doreen. other than korean's, what other things can i recommend??HA! my computer is SO LAGGY!! ok, out of point. I LOVE YUL!! he is so sweet okay.. if you have totaly no clue what i am talking about, pls go watch goong. youtube have it all. or you can tune in to 7pm, channel U, mons to fris..yeah. HA!korea should so pay me for constantly promoting their singers, songs, culture and shows..HA! DOREEN LOVES KOREA!!
went out with my kboxers yesterday, lydia,cassie and davina. met for lunch, went to heeren to take 2 sets of neoprints, cine for kboxing from 2 to 7pm. yeah, 5hrs. dont ask me how we did it. we just sang NON-STOP. and to think that its my 1st time kboxing.. i am such a loser. HA! i mean, my clique dont even kbox. KBOX HAVE TVXQ and BOA's songs!! ROCKS! lydia kept on giving me the weird stares cos i kept on laughing in the mids of singing, so its really weird. and hitting those freakying low notes with davina is so tough. singing with lydia just have to keep on singing high. and cassie just scream and jump on the chairs with me when we sing together. they all arh, never sing one lor. always make me sing.. i almost and thought that i was going to have a very bad sore throat cos i couldnt talk properly in the mids of the 5 hrs of kboxingbut i actually was alright after drinking like 1/2 a bottle of green tea..HA! i am really positive that we are heading back down there soon.. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!
went to get my xray report today. even though the report didnt come out as bad as i have prepared myself mentally for it(pmc), i am still very pissed over the report. all the doctor did was, tell me that my back is bent, gave me medication that i doubt will work cos i have been on medication for the past 2 weeks and the pain is still here with me, and 2 weeks of mc from pe which i dont even have to do pe now...diao.. its like, he didnt have to tell me that my back is bent according to the report right.. i knew that for 2 years already... dumb. and he didnt even and dont even know what is the cause of my 2 week long pain. I HATE IT! so i am not exactly happy with the report though i have yet to receive pmc. i have to go to AH(alexandra hospital) to see a specialist. and i just hear that if i were to do an operation for my back, rate of being paraylsed is so great. so, i rather bear with this pain the whole of my life than to just to that operation and get stuck on the bed for the rest of my life... sighx.. , now i sound so super moody here. really, APPRECIATE THINGS AROUND YOU BEFORE THEY VANISH once it goes, it will never return to you. drats.. now, all i hope is that, all these bills would not be a killer.. i just realised that i need to go NSC(national skin centre) for my skin problem. yeah, i am a person with alot of problems. i dont know what will be next. my skin and back is like 'stolen' from me. pls dont steal me voice i will just kill myself immediately.. really. i cannot think anymore for that to happen. oh.. and my friends i will just land up in IMH.. i am so serious. sighx.. but i still thank all those we prayed for me, you guys rocks. THANK YOU FATHER! but i wanna know why am i having this pain for the past 16 days.. i hope my back would survive the penang trip. i dont wanna die so early
crap, why?? always talking about my back make me wanna cry.. oh, i actually cried for my back lots of time and not being able to do pe.. i know to everyone, or to most, getting PMC is the best thing one can get in their whole life. to just not run those rounds during pe is their biggest dream they could ever have. but to me, i just wanna be my pe monitress. i just wanna be like any other normal teen running around the track and do pe.. sighx.. hope everything wil be fine by next year.. i am so glad the lord still allow me to have music to listen to. TVXQ came at the right time into my life to grab all the sadness away. is running such a difficult task? is jumping so difficult to be achieved?
everything is in his hands and i should just follow. maybe all are set for me to be stronger. to be the person i wanna be? to be the person i wanna be for him. my s dream? i really wanna give it up for friends, family, love and freedom.. is it worth it? giving my life to my passion? only the lord knows, and for me to grow up quick enough to see his wonderful plans for me. i dont ask for much. i just want to be able to dance now. even though dancing may just make everything worse or paralyse me, i still wanna learn.
AT LAST MSNing, havent been there for almost 2 months. i shouldnt be so moody, emo and all. im glad there is such a thing as friend, and love between friends. if not, my world will be nothing.
OH MY GOSH! my back doesnt hurt a little now at all. its like super weird. i woke up and usually i have to like roll out of the bed cos if i were to get out of the bed like 'normal' people, it will hurt like CRAP. yeah, and somehow i woke up with the normal way by sitting up on your bed. i thought i was going to scream.. not pain! then i lie down on my bed again and started bending my back like forward and back, NOTHING WRONG!! maybe i was wrong, the medication did work! PRAISE THE LORD!! at last i have proper unpain back. but now, somehow it feels weird to not feel the pain there..HA! no medication for me at last!! HA! i was thinking of going to caps ball since everything is okay now. but what if the pain comes when i come home after the game? after all i am on mc for 2 weeks... yeah, so forgive me for not going once again..HA! i will go down after the 2 weeks mc... NOW I CAN GO SHOPPING!! ha!, it wouldnt hurt. and i could stayover at vera's house like a normal person:) i am so glad:)
LAST PAPER TO MAJOR MUG FOR ENDS TODAY. yes. the eoys for me this year is going to be wrapped up with chinese paper 2 and 3.. yeah. and thats it, the worse time will arrive soon. getting the papers back i know alot of people just wanna do and end the eoys just for the sake of doing it but dread for the paper to come back. for me, i study and do my exams to get my results. results that will determine my uncertain future.. sighx.
I YOUTUBE FOR LIKE ALMOST 6HRS ++ HA! yeah. call me pro. watched TVXQ + 2 espisodes of goong.. so far its okay lar. just not that anticipating yet.. ya, i have LOTS OF TVXQ videos to cover still. i will NEVER FINISH watching mann..HA!
dont ask me why i changed my url to this current one. the other one is damn cranky with the blogskins... sighx.
its like a little weird now how free i am. i am like not used to it. its like, i feel like mugging for something.. BUT WHAT?? for tvxq??? HA! i am so joking...
my back is so seriously DYING on me. i dont even think i can walk in town like how i use to do. i can just imagine myself bedridden for the rest of my life.. maybe not so serious lar. wheel-chair my whole entire life left?? i dont know. x-ray report out on friday.. the medication given by the doctor just SUCKS! it doesnt help at all.. all i know is that, i am dying with my back.. now, i regret not going to fulfil and finish doing all those things i wanna do with my back. i hope its curable. at least, it wouldnt hurt for every single second in the whole of my life. i wanna learn how to dance... :( i better go do that before everything become worse.. my dad dont even allow me to go for camps now. so it would be, i cant even have a stayover kind of thing.. for gb, its like damn screwed. i cant go for camps, cant march, cant play games, cant even stand there like a stick for long.. i just sit there and do worship..HA! being a squad leader, i am almost useless.. being a gb-er, i am almost nothing. sighx, the moral of the story is... PLS TREASURE WHAT YOU HAVE NOW BEFORE YOU LOSE IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!! pls dont regret like me at such a young age. i only own my back for 15 yrs 4 months of my life.. sighx. all i can do now, is sit and bear the pain.. ARGH! perhaps you can feel that anger or hatred inside me..., dont get affected by me. this is just doreen's fate, doreen's life.
what else..OH! my neck.. i just realised that i cant look backwards.. as in, i can bend my neck and like look up.. its like lifting you head 90 degrees to look at your ceiling.. SIGHX!, i am such an loser. anyone wanna to have a backbone and neck bone transfer with doreen?? okay, i am so joking.. imagine having someone else's backbone...scary.HA!
tvxq! i am so going mad. the fact that raina is SIAO over them makes me so crazier and LOVE HER MORE!! ya. HA! raina is so DOREEN!! yeah, i cant wait to fly over to her house one day.. i can just imagine 2 weirdos youtubing on the same thing together..HA! pls stop saying that my picture or the picture on the right look gay or booby and all. THEY ARE GUYS! HA! vera and genia are so mean. I JUST LOVE PRETTY GUYS CANNOT ARH!!! HA! you better stop saying bad stuff about my darling korean guys okay..HA!
the other talking to squeak about me youtubing everyday looking at guys.. korean guys... they are SO COOL OKAY!! yeah, and it doesnt seem to be a very bad thing KOREAN boy looking your whole day. its better than going out and flirt.. ya.. I LOVE MY KOREAN BOYS!! and if you dont like, i cant help you but just tell you to accept doreen like that. I AM DETERMINED to learn korean for the korean guys!!HA! yeah, i am seriously going nuts. my phone is like flooded with their pics and songs...ARGH!!! save doreen! HA! yeah... KOREAN GUYS~~, here i come.. HA!! tvxq rock my korean dream!!
DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES, DOREEN SHIFTED HER BLOG TO www.thehidden-me.blogspot.com pls go to click the above link to her new blog.. thanks blogskins here are officical screwing up by itself..
TVXQ!! doreen's way to destress in this time of exams. watch when you really need to destress or you have the time.. ITS GOOD! though you may not like their looks, I SEE POTENTIAL! this song is mainly about what is going on in the world now.. yeah, pretty meaningful.. but its in korean.. so ENJOY:) if not clear enough due to the blocking of my posts.. here's the url.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZysMTOSV7Q
TVXQ!! doreen's way to destress in this time of exams. watch when you really need to destress or you have the time.. ITS GOOD! though you may not like their looks, I SEE POTENTIAL! this song is mainly about what is going on in the world now.. yeah, pretty meaningful.. but its in korean.. so ENJOY:) click the 1st butterfly above to see the video. yeah. if not clear enough due to the blocking of my posts.. here's the url. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZysMTOSV7Q
OMG!! Tong Vfang Xien Qi(TVXQ)!! korean boyband!! are they humans?? they are like ... have the looks, can dance,sing,act ...ARGH!!! they are so perfect that i was like asking myself if they are humans?? which human can dance and sing so well?? argh, they are making me feel jealous. its like BoA... okay, they are juniors of BoA...fine. ARGH! they make me go crazy. check if out for yourself man at youtube..
OMG!! Tong Vfang Xien Qi(TVXQ)!! korean boyband!! are they humans?? they are like ... have the looks, can dance,sing,act ... ARGH!!! they are so perfect that i was like asking myself if they are humans?? which human can dance and sing so well?? argh, they are making me feel jealous. its like BoA... okay, they are juniors of BoA... fine.ARGH! they make me go crazy. check if out for yourself man at youtube..
