Stress level is increasing with every passing day .
I wonder how many heart aches i would need to go through all these stress. It's bad that I'm already having one now since the real stress have yet hit me.
I want to do my best, but i'm not given a chance to.
So much to rant about, So much to be done, So much to take note of, So much to ... In so little time.
Previous post was so temperamental ... can't believe that my internet connection, vlc player and hp screwed up on me at one time T-T kill them.
Anyhow, i should blog about some i havent blogged about, My Diet. Lol, not really diet diet okay, it's about My Diet for today, which is crazy.
I had a cup of coffee because i left home for school this morning cos my tummy was feeling weird. I thought it was because i slept on a hungry tummy, which shouldnt be since i do that with no problem. Bought a pack of Wan Zai for my tummy cos i was like hungry but totally no appetite cos of the tummy upset. The weird thing was, when i was popping them into my tummy, it stil kept growling. Then i decide to pop like 1/3 a pack at a time then it stopped, so i stopped eating too. I only started popping in alot of wan zai when my stomach was making noise cos it was getting irritating. I was super duper hungry for lunch, i ate a bowl of Sliced Fish Noodle and stop eating cos i didn't wanna spend. But even as i was eating the Sliced Fish Noodle, it was like on freaking vibration mode, keep growling T-T. Lol, during class i was feeling hungry so i grabbed Sandwich to quickly before korean lesson. 1.5 hrs after i ate my sandwich, my stomach was like growling like it havent eaten the whole day. I thought i wouldnt make it out of school alive at the rate of how my stomach was demanding for food. Came home and eat a small plate of Noodles and Alot of Beef. And that was like 2.5hrs ago, and i'm feeling hungry now.
Oh and those who dont know, i am not the type who gets so hungry all the time. I would usually just ignore it with drinking alot of water ... but, i guess i need to grab supper ... :( I told mummy that i will explode from all the food i'm eating. Even I'm scared.
It must be those pink pills that keep making me hungry. If i gain weight from these pills, i'm goign to sue that doctor. LOL, those she was friendly :D. Maybe i should sue the pharmacy then. LOL. haha, did i mention that i just send in another complain letter today? love it mann!
i guess i'll go cook udon for me and brother :( If i get fat/fatter, please cry with me :(:(
edit) Just had half a packet of udon with crabsticks :(
Today, i went out with fel. Met her at Clementi and off we went for our doctor session, a trip to the polyclinic to see whatever virus that's eating in us. Went to the polyclinic in the afternoon only to know that it's lunch break period, doctors will only be back at 2pm, so we went to the food part of the pasar malam near by to grab some food :) RUMBILY burger for me, and fel got some youtiao with fish paste thing which was good. We got some fried banana, sweet potato and tapoica. Lol, havent ate such unhealth food before seeing the doctor ever. HAHA. We got a little worried so we got some health drink, strawberry yorgurt from 7-11 :D (talk about it, my throat was actually recovering from crazy Macs last week and i guess it's back now from all the oil fried food we had today afternoon T-T)
Oh and talk about the doctor's, see what i've got today! (not shoppings okay) *though i bought 2 tops and 2 pair of earrings today :X* Medicine ..
And the craziest part about it is .. if you see clearly, its Total: 224 TA (tablets). Yes two hundred and twenty-four tablets.
doesnt look much?
Lol, i look like some drug trafficer surrendering all the drugs i've smugged in.
*attn: the bear at the end of the 'drug' line is the bear that Renee got me along with the flowers, that's why its called flower bear/boy.
This medicine is supposedly for one month worth. Lol, take 224 pills in a month. Told fel and Mummy that the medicine was in such a big pack that it was as if it was for some diabetic patient cos the only time i see it, it was when people are taking 2-3 months worth of medicine.
Since i have pill boxes and always preferred bringing them around instead of the one doctor gave, i've picked up my new pink pill box for this pink tablet. Lol, ain't it love. Fel was telling me that i will find so much joy in taking these pills because it's pink. lol. haha, now there will be more joy since its in a pink box :D
I love the doctor i had consultation with today. haha, she's super duper nice, nice enough to give me pink pills :) One of the best and friendliest doctor ever met :D
Lol, the shopaholic has everything huh, even different coloured pill boxes. (the ones you guys usually see is the red with panadol in them, my rectangle light blue one was history ever since i've got new set of pill boxes)
Haha, i've sure taken a lot of pills in my life huh. This medicine is so beating my 8-panadols-a-day-for-14-days. Lol. If everything goes well, I'm taking 8 of these a day for one month. T-T.
Sure never fail to see Dr. Doctor every month huh. I'm such a problem kid.
Fangirling mode is biting into me again. But somehow i rather be like that, one of the few ways to run away from reality.
Partially due to Super Junior's - It's You new mv, i'm kinda of stuck to them now. Lol, yes. its the video on my previous post if you havent caught it :X
Heng and Hannah experienced my fangirling mode online. Lol, i seldom/never did that to anyone before. Lol. But it was fun :D
I'm going to spam the photos of 2 members from super junior here cos i'm in fangirling mode now :P
DONGHAE lol, DONGDONG <33
SUNGMIN haha, sunggminnie
Haha, its not that bad now okay, i used to spam their photos almost every now and then back then, in sec 4!! Lol ... Donghae & Sungmin = <33 style="font-weight: bold;"> i cut my fringe on my own because its too long till the extent that it keeps on going into my food when i eat. When i was lunching with renee on friday, my fringe keep on going into my sliced fish noodles. I guess it just wanna swim with no fishes .. lol. Hope its looking fine :X
Off to re-re-re-re-re- ... watch Super Junior's It's You mv :D
I really really like this song. How i wish someone would sing it to me some day. (and actually mean it!) Honestly, this is the best Super Junior MV that they have ever done. I love the dance so much and the song is so meaningful. The boys have improved, and their dances just keep getting better. I really feel like running into the MV to just hug them. They really look hurt.
Oh wells, i want to sing that those lyrics some day to Him and mean it.
It's you (It's you) It's you (It's you) It's only you (It's you) It's you
I don't need anyone else, it's only you When you ask again, it's only you Even if you already have another love I can't forget you, I can't turn back around
The moment my eyes began to burn I have no regrets, I chose you That's right, it's you
Oh whatever anyone anyone says It doesn't matter to me Oh whoever whoever curses me I'll only look at you Even when I'm born again, it's still only you (Still still) Even as time goes by
Oh, when you tell me you love me When you tell me thousands and millions of times Even when my heart sets on fire, my dry lips wear out Even when I'm born again, it's still only you (Still still) Even as time goes by Oh, I
Ah ah only for you (x7)
I don't need any words, it's just you "It's too late", but for me it's just you I know our love is wrong I can't give up, I can't let you go My lips, cold as can be, are even more blue I cry out to find your warmth I call, even though I call for you And there's no reply, I'll wait for you
Oh whatever anyone anyone says It doesn't matter to me Oh whoever whoever curses me I'll only look at you Even when I'm born again, it's still only you (Still still) Even as time goes by
Oh, when you tell me you love me When you tell me thousands and millions of times Even when my heart sets on fire, my dry lips wear out Even when I'm born again, it's still only you (Still still) Even as time goes by Oh, I
Ah ah only for you Ah ah only for you
For me, it's you, it's you, I... Why don't you know, why don't you know?
For me, it's you, it's you, I
Oh whatever anyone anyone says It doesn't matter to me Oh whoever whoever curses me I'll only look at you Even when I'm born again, it's still only you (Still still) Even as time goes by
Oh, when you tell me you love me When you tell me thousands and millions of times Even when my heart sets on fire, my dry lips wear out Even when I'm born again, it's still only you (Still still) Even as time goes by Oh, I
It's you (It's you) It's only you (It's you) It's you
Teach me to learn how to live for You and not for myself. To live to glorify your name, and not mine. To love your people, and not only those who love me.
It's about You, and not about me. "I cry out to find your warmth" ...
I really like how He speaks to me through song lyrics. Thank You Father. For this song, this lyrics and that dream.
I say there's no such thing as a platform to exhibit your creativity. there's no such thing as freedom in this world. everything is under the control of someone, which happens to be the society.
No wonder seldom we see originality in the world of film, media and entertainment in Singapore. Since we are suppose to do and produce only what the society wants. Please don't blame those poor scriptwriters and producer if the drama storyline really sucks. It's not their choice. They didn't have much budget, no freedom space was given. They have no right, they have no say, and they long to be free one day.
That's why i need to leave this place to win that platform which ultimately will be only mine.
Let me share the most disgusting thing i did this week. I had macs for dinner at 9.30pm for this tuesday and thursday (today). Crap right? All the fats and oil that entered my body. The worst part is, after that meal on tuesday, i had a really bad awful throat that was super dry and pain on wednesday and thursday morning. I think i will be the same tomorrow morning and the few more mornings to come. Now i'm already coughing because i can feel my oil-coated throat and it is hurting so much from the coughing.
Please dont have macs if you intend to have dinner at 9pm. But i guess i'll have to have that often. As school's canteen closes at 8pm and filming only ends at 9pm. Awesome T-T
But i've gotten my pink Coca Cola cup from macs today with fel :D:D HAHAHAHA ..lol
Thanks to all who have wished me, celebrated with me and gave me little cards and gifts for this special day for me! *sorry fel, the photo i taken of you yesterday wasnt that nice :X
Yeah, i really love everything you guys have given to me! Haha, yes even the elmo tissue trina. i feel wasteful using it! its just so cute!
I really love those pretty flowers so snapped more of them :D pretty right :D Thanks dear!! :D I was really touched by yesterday okay!! Come all the way down though you are sick, just to pass me this and see me for 15mins. I lovelove you!! :D:D
Oh, since i'm legal now, i went to buy a drink for Heng. Lol, we went there and grabbed a bottle and thought the lady was going to check my IC, but she didnt T-T. Both of us were like 'I bet she will ask to check my IC.' But she didnt T-T Haha, whatever. But i still manage to buy a drink today and give her her drink i promised her almost an year ago! HAHA :D To Heng, Thanks for today! HAHA, giving me that trolley thing, you want me to shop more right? HAHA :D:D <33
And i'm listening to 2NE1's fire NON-STOP. LOL, its really growing on me. And i half feel like i'm betraying After School T-T.. haha.
This song is awesome. do check it out! *all videos have english subs so no worries!
2NE1 - Fire MV (street version)
2NE1 - Fire MV (space version)
yeah, they are the new YG girl group, more commonly known as Female Big Bang. They are really kinda of cool and unique. They do constantly remind me of Big Bang even though i watch the MVs for dont know how many times.
I think their big big rival should be After School since the songs and styles are about the same yet very different. Both groups are very unique groups in kpop! :D
Today, I met US today. Met them at Tanjong Pagar MRT station, then we made our way to the place for dinner. Lol, they blindfold me half way while we were taking a while to walk there. So embarrassing okay.. lol, but lucky, i was blindfolded .. so didnt have to see the weird stares from people around me. But i really thought i was going to end up at some dont know what place lor. haha.
And they brought me here, lol, yes. its bibimbap = korean food! haha, yeah we went to a korean resturant to dine. lol, i entered the place blindfolded and i heard a very not singaporean person speak english to Faith. I seriously though he was French or Spanish okay. Lol, but he is korean. HAHA, cos they kept telling me about bringing me to a good chinese food place and that person totally dont sound china, so i thought must be western lah! T-T partly cos i dont believe they brought me to a korean resturant for dinner :D
We had like alot of food for dinner, i felt it was super good though service is quite ... bad. lol, haha. Cos the person who served us definitely is not korean, and i know best!
the awesome girls who went through much effort in planning for the great birthday celebration for meeee!
a toss for me :D
group pic
haha, all the other photos are either with the girls (everyone happen to bring a cam today T-T) or in the use-one-time-camera they got for me just for this occasion! dont want to call it disposable cos its my precious item now! i'll develop those photos soon girls! :D love you so much and thanks for dinner and dessert and cake! :D:D
Thanks to you guys, its been long ... really long since i've been happy, really happy. Yeah, when i was on my way home, i suddenly realised my purpose of living this live, to love. Thanks for saying that thing about loving to me, Faith! You guys just pop into my life at the right time, indirectly showing me the reason to live.
I'm proud to announce my first bottle of alcohol received in this 18th birthday happens to be a ... KOREAN SOJU! IT LITERALLY FLEW FROM THERE! pet got it from there on her previous trip to my 'hometown'. hahahahahaa~~
On a super side note, Doreen shopaholic habit have took place yet again on last Sunday. i bought like all these pens when i dont really have the chance to write in school! the only lesson i write is like .. during korean, and its once a week T-T haha. dont ask me why i bought them, i just felt like it. lol.
This song just came to me when i was just losing confidence about auditions later.
Lady Gaga - Just Dance A red one Convict Gaga
I've had a little bit too much All of the people start to rush. Start to rush babe. How does he twist the dance? Can't find my drink or man. Where are my keys, I lost my phone. What's go-ing out on the floor? I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore. Keep it cool what's the name of this club? I can't remember but it's alright, alright.
[Chorus:] Just dance. Gunna be okay. Da-doo-doo-doo Just dance. Spin that record babe. Da-doo-doo-doo Just dance. Gunna be okay. Duh-duh-duh-duh Dance. Dance. Dance. Ju-just dance.
Wish I could shut my playboy mouth. How'd I turn my shirt inside out? Inside out babe. Control your poison babe Roses with thorns they say. And we're all gettin' hosed tonight. What's go-ing out on the floor? I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore. Keep it cool what's the name of this club? I can't remember but it's alright, alright.
[Chorus]
When I come through on the dance floor checkin out that catalogue. Can't believe my eyes so many women without a flaw. And I ain't gonn' give it up, steady tryna pick it up like the car I'ma hit it, I'ma hit it and flex until the til done until tomorr' yeah. Show me I can see that you got so much in the jean The way you twirling up them hips round and round There's no reason, I know why you can't leave here with me In the meantime stand, let me watch you break it down.
[Chorus]
I'm psychotic synchypnotic I got my blue burners and phonic I'm psychotic synchypnotic I got my brand electronic I'm psychotic synchypnotic I got my blue burners and phonic I'm psychotic synchypnotic I got my brand electronic
Go. Use your muscle comin out work and hustle I got it, just stay close enough to get it Go slow. Drive it, clean it like so clean it's been molesto, I got it, and your popped coll'
[Chorus]
taken from: http://www.lyricsty.com/
Yes, it must be coming from Him who is always watching over me. Just went this song rang on my itunes, Renee told me to 'Just dance, gonna be okay'. It's really just coincidence or either, He is really in charge.
With permission from my felicious friend, felicia, here's one of her recent post which is poem formatted. I really love it so very much! I am poem fan. lol.
Friday, May 01, 2009: Just stop and think.
what if one day you wake up thinking it was a normal day.. only.. it's not. some of your loved ones are missing. gone, without a trace. no note to say goodbye, no letter to explain why.
you realize this world is colder without them. you realize how lonely things can get. you realize that you have to face the tough times of this world; alone.
you walk around and you wonder aloud, 'where did they go?' it's so frustrating you just wanna shout. and all the answers you wanna know.
then it suddenly dawns upon you like a missing puzzle piece the friends that you suddenly miss all had one thing in common- they're are all of christian belief.
that rapture your friends were talking about; how one day they would all go up to heaven and receive the rewards in due time. while those non-believers, sadly, stayed behind.
so now you know that the time had come, when Jesus would descent from heaven down. as the world will soon face its' end and the left-behinds will face their trials.
if only you knew, if only you believed what your friends tried to tell you then you, too, would have been spared from the fire. but then it's too late as what's done is done by then your friends would already be back home.
* but lo, it's not too late now as the world still spins, round and round. while life is still in favor,
I'm super nervous for auditions tomorrow. Lucky there's Maylin who's going with me :) if not i will really be emo-do. lol, and telling fel and renee just now, i will probably run away and not go for auditions if i didnt have someone to go with! At least i can go to training with Maylin if we both get in :) awesome!
Anyhow, went with fel for lunch at Clementi Macs today. Haha, managed to grab the 11-2pm lunch promotions at Macs for the 2nd time. lol. Then, we meet Renee before heading to fel's place for teach-doreen-dance-for-auditions. Haha, went to her place to slack a bit and talk afterwhich we head to her gym to dance for a while then end up slacking and talking. Lol, we spend more time talking then dancing and i dont care! haha, the bond is more important okay! :) Renee left for school first while me and fel went up to her apartment to look at g-market for a while.. really a while only. (g-market is the korean online store that doreen and felicia visits ALOT. We hope to buy the whole site down :) right fel?) it happened that me and fel both saw RAIN BOOTS yesterday. How love! We could buy it and then be the happiest people on earth who screams for joy when it rains. Cos we'll have the perfect reason to wear our rain boots :D
I just practiced on my own with whatever renee and fel taught me for the short afternoon. Haha, surprised but i remembered every single 8's you all taught me! lol, hope i'll be able to remember it during freestyle tmr. I practiced so hard that i am sweating so much. fel! you are not the only one who dances till sweat drips. Lol, i guess i just danced harded when i'm on my own. :(
This have been a very wordy post but. THANKS SO MUCH TO FELICIA CHIA AND RENEE TAN WHO TOOK UP TIME TO TEACH THEIR DEAR FRIEND WHO CAN'T DANCE. :D
tagged all the photos FAMILY camwhored today. it was seriously BAD. lol, haha cos i kept on tagging the wrong people with the wrong name, cos fb had to fail on me when i finish tagging all the photos. thanks so very much.
i'm feeling freaking lazy now to get out of my chair. damn it. badbad. i know i have super alot of things to do, but doreen always choose to be lazy.
i have ministry stuff plus concert things to work on. i have my care circle and core group to pray for. i have my friends that i should show more concern to. i have nra auditions to worry about. but all i do is rest my butt on this chair and start looking at heels all over again ...
anyhow! NRA Auditions! i am going for it this wednesday, and if they dont have a slot for me on wed, i'll probably try this friday and next wed ... all the way till i get myself into NRA. Lol.
Went to town with ming,ling,jo and david on sunday after church. woah its seriously been long since i went town. and
AT LAST, i saw a backpack that i might consider getting. haha, it just appeared to me while we walk into the shop! lol. and a big big tote bag for dance, (i dont know if they are called tote bags but those big big bags). haha, that bag stand out so much! and i will super unique with it :D hahaha!
okay, im like making super a lot of plans to buy stuff after i enter NRA. lol. so i better get in :X
