Gosh, NRA auditions for me will be on 13th, 14th and 15th May. I guess i will be going on 13th May, try to fight for the first time slot so i can go home for birthday dinner after that.
Well, was telling fel and renee via sms that the more i should go on 13th May since i will be bring birthday luck into the studio with me, plus i will wear those highcuts those girls got from korea for me. Birthday Luck + Lucky shoes, beat that! lol, euminl said 'OK GOOD GOOD, YOU WILL GET INNN!!!' with those luck. haha. hope so, i better get in even with all those luck. if not i'm just not fated to be in dance. but i have talked to renee and will go for 14th and 15th May if i dont make it in my birthday, 13th. :(
I thought i would be emo-ing if i dont get into on my birthday, but if i do, it will be my biggest birthday present as said by renee! its freaking right. so all i need now, which is much more than luck, is God and His guidence!
I really feel like ranting so much to her, but she's not online T-T. "why is she not online out of all times?! :(" - okay, i did sound half mad and disappointed in my head. maybe its those family matters that's why she's not online, or prolly asleep which i'm glad.
why didnt she kill me when i was just born? she should have just straggle me to death like how Lady Macbeth might kill her own newborn child if she had one. at least i wouldnt need to be tortured on earth.
Oh wells, really. Sometimes when i look back at them, i really feel the urge to work super hard in the future to earn alot of money in the future. I dont want to be like her. I want to be able to provide my children whatever they need, whatever they want, whatever service they need. I don't mind spoiling them even if their teachers might lecture them in class for being too spoilt, cos i'll just make sure the teacher get a good complain from me. oh well, i want to protect and provide for them. Much more than she can. Cause though we all know that mums are great, but i want to be a better mom than she is.
And i will teach my kids well, tell them what respect and manners is all about. Though i will protect and provide for them, but i will make sure i wack and scold them if they ever dare to be lacking in respect and manners for anyone, especially those older. Seriously, the new generation of children are just the terror of this world cos their parents just don't control them enough. I will make sure my kids dont turn like that.
She better start regarding me as a older sister, cos i totally feel like disowning her already. She will become the big reason why i leave this home.
Its really freaking how sometimes what you dreamt in your sleep actually comes true, also known as Deja Vu. what you thought became reality, what you wrote and pen down actually happened.
More of these are happening to me. I'm really wondering what else i dreamt, thought or write will come true next. :/
-----
School isn't as slack as it seems. I have 2 days off instead of 1 day now, cos my teacher shifted tuesday lessons to Monday for the first 6-7 weeks. But, well, its not that slack after all. I think this semester, there's more to do out of class time than the usual do most of your work during lesson. Lessons like scriptwriting and selfexpression:drama&poetry sure do need most of my ideas that pass through my brain now and then. And korean too, need a lot of revise-on-your own.
So far, seems like work is starting to come in. But really excited to see the end product of the things i'm starting to work on now :)
for once in my whole entire life, i learnt what lonely is.
I went for korean lessons today, i was back to that self, who sits in the first row in class, all alone. I was one of the first to be there, and everyone who enters the class quickly finds a sit beside someone they know. And i look around feeling weird, like a total outcast.
"Why does it feels like its totally different in this class when most of my class mates are the same? Everything is the same other than the change in korean teacher and venue of class.." And i realised, the teacher was the only friend i had. And now that Ms. Han is not teaching me anymore (+ my only friend i made 1/2 through korean lesson last sem was Annie and she is not taking korean this sem). oh wells. i got to understand what jolene meant be really feeling lonely .. to me, so much till the extent that i wanna cry, because this sem's korean (aka korean 102) is very stressful. :( dont feel like going for class next week. but after i talked to mum about korean 102 being difficult, she said "How can you so easily give up on something because its difficult? Running away from the difficult will not do any good to yourself? If you dont go pass this difficulty and study korean, how to be Mrs. Kim?"
Okay, so it was more for being future Mrs. Kim that she wants me to continue studying korean huh. Funny Mummy. But she indirectly gave me that drive to want to continue to choing for my korean. She reminded me the reason why i wanted to take up this language in the first place, because i wanted to go to korea. Be it to work, to study or to just soak in a different culture for 3 months, 6 months or even a year.
Thanks Mum, i know you dont know how much that meant to me though its like indirectly 'selling' your daughter off to Mr. Kim.
On a happier note, HAPPY BELATED 1month+9days birthday to DONALD :) i know this is a very lousy photo from my currently very lousy phone haha, yeah. that's his birthday present AT LAST! i think it looks better for a mac leh, like more class and all. Well, since its a mac pro + donald have 'grown' older, he should get not so childish stuff anymore! But younger sis and er-ge (david) thought the previous one was nicer. so its up to you. haha.
you know how 1 dog year = 7 human years? (means when a dog turns 1 years old after 365days, he is equivalent to 7 year old human) yeah, so for laptops, i made one out. hope it will make sense!
0 years old = Baby 1 years old = Toodler 2 years old = Child 3 years old = Teenager 4 years old = Adult 5 years old = Middle Aged 6 years old = Old Adult (in Donald's case old man)
I hope Donald don't die soon. At least, an Old Man :( Seriously, i think i am the only human on earth that thinks so much about my laptop (a macbook pro for my case), name it, changes his sticker name, buys it present and even doing this human to donald age chart thing. haha
Suddenly remembered that i have yet used my photobooth for a long while. decided at last to go and hunt more effects for my photobooth and got it :) lot more fun now with new effects to play with :D
i also at last went online to look for those effects that help me put my photos into them. check them out below!
Using online effects some film effect. forgot le :X
haha, this was called Celebrity Paparazzi. I guess that just makes me and fel celebs then :) Everyone is looking at me and heng :D:D yuri in the museum! :)
alittle camwhore session on photobooth DO in a box :D, haha. "Save me!! Anyone there?" this effect is called Retro (-.-). " Its mine! *smirks*" Christmas. "Wha! Snowflakes!!" "How dare you cheat me? I'll kill you now. *pulls trigger* BANG!!!!" I really do kinda of fierce there. :X its that really how i look like when i dao someone? "BOOOOOO!!!!~~" i know you are so not shocked. This is called, Spotlight. haha, so must act glam. That's all. :)
#1. the modules i'm taking this semester. Camera & Lighting Effects - saw the super big and amazing green screen. i felt like i am doing something course related at last! first project is a 30 sec commercial with fel in a group. its going to be fun. haha ... was suggesting to fel that we should do heels but .. we'll see .. :D Scriptwriting - many of you might not know this but started writing scripts since i was 14. I always liked to write my own scripts, controlling the minds of all my character. Just that they were all very sucky in my own opinion. when i reread some of them, its like trash. haha, but ohwells, i wanna start to learn how to end my stories properly so maybe this module will help!
#2. NRA Quitting Korean Cultural Club and joining NRA (Dance CCA in NP). Yeah, hope i get through auditions and get into the CCA. Plus joce and hannah kept on reminding me that i should go and make some friends. *cos i dont make any friends at my korean lang class the whole of last sem* Once i get through, i should go and buy dance clothes + shoes :D:D
#3. Hanging out with my girls more often. Havent meet FAMILY for a long while and hanged out enough. Well, naturally we will hang out most during semester, so its great! Plus i get to see my bitch around campus:)
#4. Year 2 at last! I step closer to graduation!! yeah, in 2 years time, i will be done with poly. Economic recession shall end before that and i will get my job/have the money to go overseas to study :D:D
haha, i love my freshly coated pink nail polish on my fingernail, and silver on toenails.
Dont know what's wrong with me these days, I've been missing people. Haha, especially those i just saw like a week or 2 ago.
I was just telling jo on wednesday that i miss her and she just reminded me that we just met the week before for confessions of a shopaholic. Then, i went on and tell her that its been long since we saw jing. And she again reminded me that we met her on the very day we watching confessions of a shopaholic. Oh well, then just yesterday i was trying to spot jing at the njc busstop when my bus passed there, and i told my sister that i miss my pig :( though i saw her last week.
I missed my whole seconday school clique too, though i just met them a week ago too T-T it was so bad i started to dream of them, like hanging out together, stayovers and all.
I even dreamt of someone else i miss, Heng which also happen that i just met her last week too TT-TT I had quite a number of vivid dreams these days and i happen to see all those i miss :X
Today, i got to meet someone i miss, ISABEL! i was telling her via sms about going to her place for dinner and all and even another message telling her, "I miss you!" Seriously, that doesnt come often from me. lol.
I think these few days at home, i only see Donald and maybe myself in the mirror ... okay, maybe once in a while my older brother and my dad, and my second brother, David is the only one who will come and accompany me when i use Donald. Well, he just disturbs me most of the time, which is great. lol.
Did i mention? That today during CG, when the girls were mentioning about deskmates and all, i totally missed my 2 years deskmate, jo and the whole 3O/4O girls so very much! seriously, i miss those days in MG terribly T-T
Now, I'm missing Isabel all over again though i just saw her a few hours ago. (Bel, you better be reading this!) :(
I miss you, Mummy. I miss you, Heng. I miss you girls, 'US' (including Miss Pudding friend, Vera!). I miss you, Isabel! I miss you, my pig JING!
HAHAHAHAHA, guess what is the other thing i found out!! I only have friday lessons for one term, so that means, for next sem, i get 2 DAYS OFF FROM SCHOOL! :D:D HAHAHAHA. mean i will have wednesday off and a SUPER LONG WEEKEND :D hurray for DOUGH!
that also means i only have 5 lessons of drama and poetry T-T
lol, my timetable for this sem is out AT LAST!!! :D:D guess why am i SO HAPPY :D well you will know soon! here's my timetable.
yay!!!
haha. lol, while i was doing the wordings for my timetable and all, i suddenly remember Matthew always telling me that i am either always having holidays or not going to school even during the semester. well, i guess that seems kinda of true if you just look at my timetable now. lol, i seriously dont know why its so slack. so does joce. well, technically, only thursday is super long day. cos i still have korean from 6-8pm immediately after the previous lesson. other than that, its HAPPY DAY :D hahaha.
i hope the time table DONT CHANGE. well if they decide to change it, they should always just put monday's + tuesday's into one whole long day then i can have 2 days off :D:D lol, then i'll spend most of my days in the week out of school then in school! :D:D HAHAHA. lol.
i remember just telling Matthew, Suzie and Kenna on thursday that i will need to go to school everyday this new semester and all of their response are like 'AT LAST!!! at last you are going to school everyday.' well, they just think i am acting so not like a student for the past year 1 in np. yes, if you havent known, ever since i went poly (other than the dpa days), i havent went school everyday for lessons :X well, dpa is really good okay! get to cut off like so many modules over the 3 years, so its not that i'm slack okay! lol, i think Matthew will tell me that my current timetable is so expected and he will start saying that I'm like not even attending school though i am T-T. fine, Matt you win! haha.
on a heavier note, mum just went to indonesia, actually landing there soon. i will have to be mummy over all my siblings my little children, since my older brother took leave and is staying home all week. haha. oh wells. i should just think of my very cool timetable :D
when i saw that i had wednesdays off, and just found out yesterday that my birthday this year is on a wednesday, i was just SUPER HAPPY PLEASE!? HAHAHAH :D:D.
Happy KOREAN-DO :D:D LALALALA~~*dances around like a crazy girl*
All your fault! Coming to mess my world after you messed your own. Well, but do you even realised that your own world, your own life is messed up? Stop appearing infront of me like annoying pop up advertisements, adverts that may look nice but get very annoying that everyone wants to block it.
Anyhow, i am still feeling super shopaholic and heng just called me that when i was showing her nice hairbands online. okay, some of you may not understand but i'm sure jo does cos she knows the kind of hair bands i want ... jo! I found it!! :D:D lol, if i end up not wearing them cos i bought them in a rash, we can add it to our garage sales collection :D:D
i've decided to not buy some of the stuff, like heels, because i really do foresee that they will all end up in dojo's garage sales collection T-T cry with me ... i really want those pretty heels, but they probably will look ugly on me. I suddenly remember what i said today afternoon while shopping with huiqi, melina, rachel and jessie. "Dont need to try it (the dress) on me lah. Anything will look nice on me:D" - where did that confident & ego Dough go? Nah, its just me being more realistic than at that moment.
i dont have gold in the garden so i should stop looking at heels and whatever i dont need. Cause i keep on want to buy the whole korean online shop down T-T only if i own it. lol. i was telling heng the other day ...
do: I need to open a bank when i grow up heng: (gives the confused look) why? do: So i can save money :D:D
because i was telling her, that i've asked jo to be the one who controls my saving. We were planning for a trip to taiwan next year and i was telling jo its impossible for me to save $1000 without spending any of them in the middle of saving it. Then, we've decided that jo will keep all my money and remind me how much i have left to reach $1000. lol.
okay, i'm really being super hyperactive and mad at this hour of the day. lol, must be all the craziness that went through me when i was looking at all the products at the korean online shop. HAHAHA.
i should be heading to bed soon. since mum asked me to learn some home related stuff before she departs for Indonesia for a whole week. Dough will be transforming to Mummy of the Soon house soon T-T
haha, just decided to import all my posts from my previous 2 blogs here. that's why my freaking 'replay' list is so long. lol. read some post and realised that i used to blog happier in the past. well, i guess its how people grow and how people mature. ... and how the reality of this world does eat into every child hearted person eventually. this world is evil.
-- and i'm super glad this is my longest blog running. haha, my past 2 blogs are from AUG 2005 - DEC 2006 while korean-do.blogspot.com JAN 2007 - currently APRIL 2009 :D its the korean effect!!! haha, lol. i dont remember telling many people, but other than typing my account names as korean-do, i dont even know what else to give my account name as!! lol, seriously, korean-do have slowly became my second name. actually, i like the name korean-do better than doreen, like how i prefer people to call me do/dough than doreen
i swear i am. seriously, with the amount i keep on spending, i will be the life story of the Confession of the Shopaholic or probably, my story will be on Confession of the Shopaholic 2. T-T its like, you know you shop alot, but you just cannot stop your eyes from looking at those pretty products. this are the only times i hate online blogshops. you dont even need to step out of the house to look at those pretty products lying in the shops. you just need to go online T-T
damn, only if there was no recession, only if i had found a job and worked T-T i wouldnt even need to worry when i shop online.
i am worrying for my wants while many people on this earth are worrying for their needs, like meeting their 3 meals, or even just their next meal. how fortunate we are but yet we dont see it? even Donald, this mac i'm typing on ... how he can actually be the living expenses for a month or 2 for some family while to me, its just my laptop, that cannot be used to be eaten as survival?
we all need to start thinking about these.
Thank jo, jocelyn and kenna for talking to me online today :) sorry for making joce feeling guilty and bad about spending too T-T
i think i have yet post up this video on my blog. so here it is!
Gummy ft. TOP - I'm Sorry (Eng subbed)
the girl says i'm sorry over the phone repeatedly in the beginning of the mv.
yeah, i dont know why i didnt post this much earlier, but i really liked this mv as well. it was so .. shocking, i remember crying when i first watched the mv without subs. ( haha, i'm posting mvs/videos real often these days :X)
okay, now it seems like i only watch emo mvs. well, since they leave the deepest impression on me. i dont know how's is it for everyone, but emo sad songs and emo sad dramas ... okay, whatever that is sad and emo are the most impactful thing to me, i tend to remember those sad emo scenes from drama, movies and mv. even song! they are the songs that get stuck in my head.
well, its not like you know me, emo-do for the first day. -- i need to improve my vocals. anyone has any recommendation how to other than getting professional training?
okay, here's my new blogskin:) its been ages since i've changed one! i've used that blog skin for sooo very long! so tough to look for nice blogskins at blogskins.com now. lol, okay. i should only do amends tmr cos i'm beat from just finding the right looking skin.
I was very sick on thursday and friday, till the extent of thinking that i'm dying. lol, after i posted that post of being so crazy about sleeping 3 hrs, i went for a short nap and i woke up feeling very feverish. lol.
yeah, well. i really thought it was going to be dengue cos my mum kept on scaring me. so i kept like crying and couldnt eat properly. its not dengue since i'm fever is okay now :) haha, but i still dont eat properly even until now. dont know, maybe its my medicine? i remember like eating very little these days. like today, i had my 3 meals, but for lunch and dinner, i only had like about ... 5 mouths of carbo. which is ... hmm, bad. haha, maybe its the medication that makes me lose my appitite. its a good way to keep greed piggish Do to not eat so much.
haha, had ex-co meeting today and i was like having self-control the whole time to not eat the snacks. lol, cos i will just need to take more medicine if i just pop in one biscuit. ohwells, its been really long since i've gotten fever ... so .. haha :) why am i so excited about being sick? crazy .. i told you i'm mad.
i've been tuning in to good korean emo songs and i'm loving it so much!
last night, i slept at the almost usual timing, 3am. well, its not that i was online till then too! lol, i actually went offline at last 1am (i think 1.45am if i'm not wrong!). went to bed at about 2am. tossed and turn, i couldnt sleep cos i kept on coughing so hard. Suddenly this though came into my head, "don't tell me the previous i was sick, i didnt fully recover?!" . and it was it.
i pulled some sheets into mum's room and sleep on the floor area beside parent's bed. T-T i felt like i really make my appearance big. lol, cos i went there and end up kept on coughing. Manage to stop coughing at about 2.45am then i started to feel flu-ish, how awesome.. seriously. yeah, so i slept at about 3-3.30am. didnt really manage to sleep much but i woke up at 6am when mum's alarm went off. then i couldnt sleep le, but i wasnt even 100% sleeping to begin with.
it have been SO SO SUPER LONG since i woke up at 6am. the last time probably ... camp last dec? but i remember going back to sleep and snoozing till everyone was awake, so probably the last time i got to see the 6am sky was like since i was ... sec 3/4? (i usually wake up at 6.30am to go school during sec school days)
yeah, so technically i slept for like 2-3 hrs and i feel as if i slept for 10-12 hrs. seriously! no joke! (talking about joke, i had an awful joked played on me on a forum on april fool's T-T, make me feel super dumb.)
so now i'm typing this when i only slept for 2-3 hrs, and i actually did house work which i usually dont with even 14 hrs of sleep. lololol. but i'm going to make sure i sleep at 8-9am? so i'll still get my 14 hrs of sleep:) dad told me to go bed at 6pm TT_____TT does that mean i need to skip dinner? i dont mind! LOLOL, well since i manage to eat breakfast today :)
woah this is a super wordy post, but seriously this day is going to be like a milestone in my life. the day that doreen only slept 2-3 hrs but felt like she had 10-12 hrs instead.
oh wells, haha. but i'm seriously sick once again T-T refused to go and see doctor because i'm like visiting clinics/hospitals monthly this year .. bad. i'm done with flu, block nose, cough and a pain throat TT----TT who wants to exchange nose and lungs with me? a throat would be nice as well! TTTTT_____________TTTTT
This MV just broadcast on 31st March, yeah. Caught it first time yesterday and think it was great! rewatched a couple of times and managed to find the english subtitled ones today, finally!!!
Haha, i know some of you just like browse through when you see people post videos on their blog at times, and i know time is precious! so i've decided to post a teaser (which is kinda of like a preview) of the Full MV here too, and it takes you a few seconds to watch it! lol.
[Teaser] K.Will - My Tears Are Dropping (Eng Sub)
[Full MV] K.Will - My Tears Are Dropping (Eng Sub)
i had trouble reading these subs too ... but you will use to it :)
Anyhow, today, finally got to watch LAST EPISODE OF BOYS OVER FLOWERS :):) haha, its the end to BOF fangirling TT-TT and to me ... the ending was like ... okay lah. at least they didnt end it pathetically... lol. haha, you know. like how some dramas will just anyhow when the popular turns very popular. lolol. but its a good show to catch! especially for girls who fantazise alot! lol, i'm sure you can't find any guy like Goo Jun Pyo or Jihoo on this earth. well, if you do know of one, please dont forget to tell me :D:D haha, i mean does a rich, nice, sweet, loving and handsome guy who loves you alot exist on this earth? get real, they dont. even if they do, they will still lose to Goo Jun Pyo and Jihoo (especially Jihoo since i like him:D)
