I was just writing one of my animation synopsis and showed it to Kenna to let her see if it's okay ...
[00:20:24] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says: Lol [00:20:25] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says: shaver [00:20:29] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says: hahahaha.. [00:20:29] PINK POWER! |KOREAN-DO says: hahaha [00:20:49] PINK POWER! |KOREAN-DO says: cos shaver will destroy all their bubbles and scratch the soap bars .. [00:20:52] PINK POWER! |KOREAN-DO says: then they will get hurt [00:22:17] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says: hahahahahaha.. [00:22:23] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says: sounds so funny when u're writing it.. [00:22:24] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says: lol.. [00:22:30] PINK POWER! |KOREAN-DO says: write what? [00:22:35] 啊 Ken -『♪』 says: like some mature girl trying to become childish
hahahaha ... yes, i don't want animation script to turn me to a childish little girl :/ lol, even Kenna agrees that it's weird, or not doreen to write animation script. I'm so touched touched that even she knows its so not doreen to write anything like animation :D. I will post up my chosen synopsis here once teacher sees it ... lol, then everyone can help give me ideas!!
But ohwells, till then I will continue to hug Renee and cry together :/
Only cry, Only whine, Only complain, Only emo, Only hate.
This is the Doreen that is standing right here. I know it's not really nice to say this, but at this moment, Doreen is totally disgusting with herself.
I'm sorry, but I would love to change my genes. They only alter jeans but not genes right? Life is so unfair.
To loyal readers and fans of korean-do, I owe all of you an update of my "very happening" life. it's going to be super list like so people dont get bored reading a whole paragraph on 'doreen-rants-about-life' .. haha
- A lot of dance practices these days as church concert, Agape, draws near. I am enjoying dance pracs alot, probably one of the things i wanna do most in my life, that is to perform as a dancer on stage. It's been good, but the aches are definitely not that fun. Love myOstrich sisters more and more.
- Gossip Girl and Sleeping are the only 2 things i do when i am free. Strictly speaking, I am only free yesterday and today. So spent the whole of yesterday sleeping (serious no joke! 13 hrs of sleep yesterday and 12hrs today) and GG-ing.
- I am totally neglecting schools these days. I kinda of figured out from one of Renee's and Fel's conversation that Church + God is more important than school work. Felt guilty for skipping one dance prac for school stuff, so ended up missing 2 korean lessons which i have no idea how i am going to catch up since i have no friends/dont know anyone at korean lesson.
- I just realised that i havent headed to the mall or caught any movies for a whole 2 months (coming to 3 months le). Wanted to catch a movie today, but realised no one free to go with me :( I need to catch UP, ghosts of girlfriend's past and Subaru!
- I really really miss Jo. This is the first time i havent met her in a month ;(:( and jingjing who i havent met for 3 weeks :(
- I am really high now! That i feel like just dance crazily down the hill at my place. Lol, it's the only time left for me to get high before tiredness starts eating into me again :)
- I am ditching school work cos i really dont care about it at this point of time. Sunday night before school starts is the best time to do school work, right Renee? :D:D
- I LOVE YOU GIRLFRIENDS + LAOGONG (who happens to betray me recently :/)
It sucks when you find yourself only home at 1130pm, feeling super brain dead, feeling super tired. Then, you only come to realise that you have work to need to complete before sleeping. Then you start to count the hours you probably get to sleep, that is, 5 hrs.
Maybe it's not that bad. Lol, but i better get to bed at 1am.
I really don't like it when others complain over things ... like over the fact that they only get 7hrs of sleep. (sorry to you who might happen to see this, but i really dislike when friends complain over things when they don't understand others' situation which might be worse) I feel like I have been tired since forever. Yes, June have been madness. With not only very little sleep, but 2 heart aches from stress .. and more to come, I dont know why but I'm sure of it. Lol.
And I really dislike it when I am getting heart aches. (yes, literally heart aching when i touch my heart)
I think I'm going to have a short life. But, I don't wanna leave just yet, Father. There's many things leave undone.
I seriously can't chill this month if you think that I'm just being damn uptight about stuff. Cos with one wrong move, everything crumples and millions of fingers will be pointing at me.
I'm sorry.
And I seriously need to stop tearing like some baby which I'm doing super often these days. I don't know why. But, ... Doreen, you just need to grow up and stop being a baby. It's time that you grow up and stop tearing like a weakling.
The best thing that happened today ... I went down to 7-11 with sister, and i decided to just buy a Mr and Little Miss capsule. (yes, the $1.80 one). Wanted to try my luck if I'll get Mr Happy. and then .. MR. HAPPY along with his friend, MR NOSEY :D
look familiar? My big big Mr. Happy soft toy :D
When Big Mr. Happy meets Small Mr. Happy! Lol, they were both bought from 7-11. HAHAHA I see the both of them are so happy to see each other and have me as their owner huh :D
Haha, looking at both Mr. Happy now, i suddenly recall something that my classmate, Weining said. They were just talking about the $1.80 Mr and Little Miss Capsule in class. And i mentioned that I want Mr. Happy!! Then, weining went 'Why Mr. Happy? That's so generic.' (well, since Mr. Happy and Little Miss Sunshine somehow represent the whole Mr and Little Miss crew)
Her comment made me think for a while. 'Why Mr. Happy?' I thought to myself. And i finally understood why. I really need a Mr. Happy to help Little Miss Emo to become happy.
I suddenly remember watching this on youtube a long while back!
I want to be Mr. Miserable there ... so I still eventually get to meet Mr. Happy someday, who will bring me to Happy land :/
I am feeling so ... irritating, annoying, pester-ish, troublesome, bitchy, ... as a girlfriend. Whatever.
I don't know why I am starting to get more and more possessive. why am I angered at some small issues, so much that people don't even realised I'm mad.
I'm the main problem here.
Stop guessing, you prolly dont know who I'm referring to. But if you happen to know, then it should only be you.
I remember me wanting to type all those feelings that night, but it so happen that my internet connection was down that fateful day that i had to type on my desktop.
Here is something i wrote about a month back.
I was walking along the same familiar path to the busstop. The only thing i heard was my footsteps.
As i think back about my life, what can i say? i've made such a waste of this life. Whatever i've done in this life have not turned into anything beautiful. Well, i guess that's what i am, an ugly duckling.
As i board the bus with heavy footsteps, those thoughts just kept increasing. I stood there, feeling super bottled up. I realised that, no one, no one was there. I wanted to run away, i wanted to run away but i couldnt, those legs wouldnt bring me anywhere far. So i continue to stand there, as if i've just lost everything, as if there was nothing else to live for. As if i've just got ditch by my boyfriend, i rest my head on one of my shoulder, ignoring the stares of others, holding back those tears.
I walked and walked, never knew that that same breeze could actually be so hard and cold. It made me realised again, i'm all by myself. Ignoring that fact, i kept moving. Soon i realised that other than me moving, everything seemed have stand still in their own postitions, everyone turned cold. I stood alone as i look up to the bright moon that seems to be the only one there for me. 'How long will it take me to reach to you, Mr. Moon?' i thought like a child. Then i realised that i couldnt move any farther, my feet were guled to the ground for some reason. The next thing i knew, i was tearing up. How long have my eyes locked these tears in them? How long have these tears been pulled back in my eyes by unknown forces? How long is this world going to continue to stay cold?
I am super unwanted. Even the dog that barks at me all the time didn't bother barking at me this evening, even the neighbour who always walks her dog decided to not take that same route. Trying at my best, i rewalked the same path, hoping to feel the warmth of another human. Why am i trying so hard, when others don't?
From a far, i see a house that's warmly lited. Doors opened wide, as if waiting for 'prodigal son' to come home. 'There's the only place i can hide at' i thought to myself. Faked a face, changed those heavy footsteps into joyous light one, i stepped into the house. What else could i have done?
Entering the house, i told myself 'this puts a end to everything'. Looking around that house, everything seemed the same, the same as all the others out there, hard and cold.
Irritating how I always want to talk to people but I dont want to trouble them.
Admit it, no matter what's being done, this world is cold. And suddenly, I feel that I can't even turn to Him no longer. It's been long since then, but ... I really need Him more than ever.
Those thoughts would never stop to force themselves into my little head. What if 1 day I really take those thoughts into action?
That would also be the day when I talk no longer to you anymore, the day I feel no more, the day I hurt no more, the day I don't feel the coldness of this world ... the day I don't see your face forever.
It's not funny how stm (short term memory) is really hitting super hard on me. Maybe it's from all the stress, maybe its from all the lack of sleep/tiredness, i dont know.
I was just learning the dance steps at 5pm with the girls, cos i missed yesterday's prac, so need to learn in like 1 hr what they took to learn in 3-4 hrs. Great, so learnt like some mad person and managed to actually learn pretty fast and kinda of get something out. Cool, then we went ahead to learn the new steps that were intended to be taught today. After that we had super late dinner at 8pm, then after dinner, i totally forgot what the girls taught me.
This is so bad, i think i can barely remember what i learnt today. All i know is i'm damn tired now and my muscles are crazily aching. Shit, how am i suppose to do my intended self-prac at home tmr :(
It sucks when you have super a lot of things to do but dont have the time, energy and capability to do so.
& It sucks even more to know that you are not doing well in what you like. I really always loved and wanna dance, but .. that stupid thing in my head (yes, it's what everyone calls the brain but not sure if mine is one) is not working.
So like what I was saying, June sucks. June just won Best Suckiest Month in the Year 2009.
But I'm hating myself more. Not very glad to know that I might be spending 2 hrs on the road to just travel to and fro church just to take a photo with the dance group. Nothing goes well.
I am currently in class. Super super irritated and bored with work ... oh mann, so many things to do in so little time.
There's play to perform tmr, which me, fel and renee havent even came up with the script. Isn't it just simply .. awesome?
I really feel like ditching motion graphics and korean lesson. Teacher not here for motion graphics and ... i guess once i ditch that, i wouldnt go for korean too. I know I will be pretty much strewed if I dont go for korean lesson today, cos I would have NO ONE to turn to, to ask about korean T-T oh wells, i will just have to meet mr.kwon on another day to just meet to teach me.
sighx, what is this week like that :/ don't like this ...
Finished Gossip Girls Season 1 in just 4 days. (cos i didnt watch the whole of Monday! So technically 3 days!) It's great, really. It's super scandalous and bitchy (which is why i love it so much, partly) And I really like Blaire and Serena friendship like mad. I really want to have a friendship like that myself! They fight over the smallest thing, walk out on each other, but end up, they always turn to each other when they are in trouble. Though both B and S hurt each other, nothing is stopping their friendship. How many a times who let a friend go because of a small issue?
I really want friends who are really there for me, like forever. Ohwells. I am going to check season 2 soon enough because I really hate my June like mad. Ask me about it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be struck with those Heart-aches-from-stress soon enough. I'm really hating to go those places. I can only wait for time to pass ...
Really really glad that i was able to make a day out for my girls :) Went for Faith's choir concert just yesterday and it was really great! I really like the songs that was being sung this time round :D Waited for Faith to go around meet her friends and take photos, get changed before leaving for Supper #1. Rachel, Petrina and me went over Faith's place to stayover after that, which was super fun :D Haha, watched a movie at her place and Supper #2. Check out her cool bedroom slippers that i almost bought online for myself!!
lol, and we cooked today's lunch together!! yeah, yummy yummy nice lunch! All thanks to Chef Faith. Haha, we did everything according to her instructions and lunch turned out good!
okay .. i should start working on those awful stuff now.
