Tuesday, November 28, 2006
posted at 12:27 PM
changed a blogskin.
i took dont know how long to get this up..
at least, for once, doreen's blogskin/blog dont look so sad and depressing..
acutally, i dont know.
i just cant find a depressing picture that can suit my mood now..
yeah, HA!
but, my blog dont look as black as in use to.
was very tempted to put the background black..
but yeah, decided not to.
thru this time of getting use to live without the things i have lost..
its really tough, and frustrating.
now when i feel like taking a look at it, its not there and wouldnt be any longer in my whole entire life..
i am just... very unlucky.
yeah, i just suck.
i just need to get over it.
and i dont know if my forgiving act was right.
the point when i was to forgive, i wanted the person to feel my hurt and be dead down guilty and all..
and the next time she sees me, she will be reminded of the incident and be really regretful over her actions.
but, i know that its not right to bring or even push my hurt to someone else.
or drag someone down and feel hurt with me.
thats not right.
since GOD already shown me a life example of the lesson of forgiving and forgetting, i am sure i will be able to do it as well.
yunho's story is one that i would never forget in my whole life.
someone with such a big heart who is willing to forgive others at any cost.
later did i find out that he is a chirstain.
yeah, so i guess its just practising what the bible taught us into our daily lives and showing others that we are different from everyone in this world who havent accepted christ.
he show me how to live life through christ.
so i am sure, i can ask GOD for help to heal me and to help me get over this.
sometimes, its not all about just idolising..
i can say that i dont idolise.
i dont have or make any singer or celebrity my idol and chase them.
its not that way.
for me, i respect a singer, want to be like him, check his background and learn his past.
and then, try to follow and improve myself.
okay, i must admit that i will like go nuts watching them on youtube and spend lots of money on them.
but, i make them more like someone i really admire and wanna be.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
posted at 7:17 PM
everything is gone.
nothing can make all those things come back every again.
whats done is done.
money cant buy what i lost.
the pain and hurt cannot be healed in one day
all my disspointment, anger, hatred, pain and hurt stays with me
but i choose to forgive.. which i hope will help me get through everything.
i havent posted in a while.
there was something major that happen to me in my life.
but i dont wish to state everything out here.
i dont wish to go through it again.
telling the story makes me see everything again in my head.
all i know is that, i cried my whole heart out that day..
i even cried in my sleep.
how bad can doreen's life get?
all my precious stuff gone in a flash.
i am really dissapointed.. really am.
i was thinking of killing myself that day..really.
it was as if i lost all my friends the very same day i lost everything.
i am not going to say more before i cry again.
went out for dinner with jing and jo.
went to hunt for a job too.
cos my debts are piling up.
imm, the place which we last went out for a GREAT dinner.
so happy that i have 2 more close buddies.
I LOVE JOANNE LIM SO MUCH!
she got me a tvxq album, BoA album and TVXQ's calender from japan!
it was those standing on the table type of calender.
but how i wished she got the hanging on the wall one but.. THANKS JO!
she probably wouldnt be able to read this cos she is ban from the computer for this whole hols..
poor girl:(
i was so thankful that i could at least get out of the house and meet up with them.
its not that i am trapped at home or what so.
its cos, i need someone to cheer me up.
at least not allow me to think of my hurt.
jo and jing's date came at the right time:)
yeah, at least i felt so much lighter after that.
but everything is coming back nowwatched VACATION after that incident happened.
at least it made me a little happier.
though i didnt know was i really happy or just trying to be happy.
i only remembered that everything was so bad that, i thought i was going to be a little mentally unstable during this period of time.
just had a stayover at my friend's place.
this time, it just felt weird.
i dont know.
to me, i havent felt so .. sian, depressed and all.
maybe its the side effect from whatever happen to me on tuesday.
which is that long emo thing i posted about.
yeah, i dont know.
i felt really tired and bored and sad for myself.
sorry pals.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
posted at 1:29 AM
I GOT MY OWN ZEN!!
cool.
yeah, i went to get it yesterday
HA!
its not zenV sadly..
its zen neeon.
BUT, its okay.
i am starting to love it the more i see it.
my bro wanted to get it actually..
so i think, its not so bad after all.
after all, i havent seen anyone who have gotten a zen neeon.
it may be a bad and good thing.
it maybe not reliable, thats why no one get it.
it maybe cos i am different thats why getting it still makes me stand out of the crowd:)
HA!, my home have been really noisy these days.
3 of my cousins are here until friday.
they are like 8, 9 and 9 yrs old respectively..
plus, my mum baby sits a 2 yrs old cousin.
and his sister 6 yrs old is here as well...
NOISY!!
but, i am not that quiet anyways..HA!
TVXQ ON TEENS AND TEENAGE!!
SO IS NIUNAI!!
yeah, HA!
and my cousin tore my cover page of teenage with niunai on the cover.. ARGH!
his acutally name is NICK!!
HA! so weird.
CASS!!!, your MLB is in teenage.. so is the goong poster.
YEAH!
BILLARD IS SO FUN!!
i played with my cousin who is only 9 who is damn good in it on MOFUNZONE!!
:) ITS SO COOL!!
okay, i am getting chased off this posting to play billard..BYEBYE
BOUNCING OFF!!...
Monday, November 20, 2006
posted at 6:12 AM
back from gb camp.
only stayed for 2days one night.
the camp was 3D2N, yeah.
the camp was .. okay lar.
CONGRATS TO ALL WHO WON FOR DRILL COM.
yeah, all your hardwork have been paid off!
HA!
did i mentioned that I WENT TO DODO CLUB(which is a korean brand) AND BOUGHT A CAN OF COCA COLA!! yeah.
okay, it might not sound like a big deal to you but...
its not any other cola can. ITS A CAN OF KOREAN COKE!!
yeah, its a long can type of coke that have lots of korean words in printed on it!
if only tvxq's pic was on the coke... i will buy like 10!!HA!
yeah, i didnt wanna drink it cos its KOREAN COKE!
maybe i will in the future or but another can and try korean coke.
I BET IT TASTE NICER. HAA!
now, i shall make a point to buy a can of coke from DODO when i go cine.
LOOK!! even this korean brand is after ME!
how wonderful can my korean craze get man..
oh ya, and remember the hairbands i had to buy.
THEY ARE ALL FROM KOREA!!
yeah!
PLUS PLUS PLUS~ the nike dunks i bought recently..
GUESS WHAT!!! ITS MADE IN KOREA!!!
HA! yeah. i feel so ..
KOREAN!!
yeah. going off now..
KOREAN!!
Friday, November 17, 2006
posted at 11:31 AM
okie! i should blog about yesterday.. yeah.
meet NANA at orchard at 3pm.
we went cine to visit our darling korean shop!
yeah, i controlled myself and didnt spent a single cent there..
i think i would the next timethen, meet rachel and went HMV.
okay, then TRINA ESTHER AND LETI wanted me to get hairbands for them..
maybe most of you will think.. its just hairbands, no big deal.
IT WAS A BIG DEAL.
i had to get 17 skyblue, 14 yellow and 17 indigo hairbands.. yeah.
and where to go find indigo hairbands since there is no specific shade for that colour.
sighx, so i went to minibits and like bought down all their hairbands there.
bet pple around was thinking i was a mad fellow.
oh, they needed the hairbands for like contingent identity for our gb camp tmr.
yeah, you know how pressurizing it was to be given almost $100 just to buy hairbands?
i was like constantly looking out for my wallet and make sure it was with me all the while.
this is the worst time to lose your wallet.. i will just die.
lucky i manage to get everything and yeah, i dont think i will wanna buy hairbands in a year ahead.
it was so embarrassing not just buying all the hairbands, but carrying it around town..HA!
yeah.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KENDRA!!HA!
issnt my new blogskin picture nice:)?
ha, i love it!!
they fit the rock band type..HA!
tmr, gb camp.
yes, i decided to go to accompany the 'ohh so poor thing petrina quek suet hui' cos she was telling me how alone she was without my company and vera who is alr in japan.
yeah and i should go and look at my ORANGE group...
mak made it sound so fun to be in that group today.. i hope it is! HA!
my back hurts nowi should just bear with it and sleep on the hard ground during camp.
hope it wouldnt be so bad..
i dont wanna like cannot even stand up or even sit up the next day when i wake up..
i dont know how.. really.
the last time i slept on the floor, i couldnt get up.. so, all the best for me.
AND I AM DOING ALL THESE FOR THAT ONE PERSON petrina quek.
you better be THANKFUL!
i will miss nana.
yesterday was the last time i would ever get to see her this year...*sobsob*
my darling..
sighx, HA!
love her so much.. cos she is SO NICE:)
MISS YOU!
zenV in 6 days! COUNTDOWN!
posted at 8:08 AM
it have been almost one week since i blogged.
yeah, my life have been pretty boring ever since the penang trip.
seeing all my seniors and my kor studying and mugging so hard for the Os, i think i will die next year.
i dont even know how i am going to pull thru it.
i am so freaking out for Os next year now.
i know its a little too early.. but, yeah..
drill standards have yet dropped another level this year..
all the best for to all people marching this sat..
will be watching you all:)
sighx.. life have been so.. boring?
yeah.. i dont know
hmm, jo and vera both in japan.
i am worried.
cos of the tsunami.
jo called me from japan just for the albums...
*touched touched*:)HA!
yeah, i msg her if she was alright and she didnt reply.. i am dead worried.
sighx, JO BETTER BE FINE!!
AND VERA TOO! i know you can swim..
HA!
thats all.. i am like so.. argh.
i guess i am just not in the blogging mood..
another day then..
Saturday, November 11, 2006
posted at 7:15 AM
I LOVE JOANNE LIM!!she is so sweet.
she remembered me through out her taiwan trip
she got me like 2 TVXQ albums!!
i am so glad i didnt have any of them, so LUCKY ME:)
heart,mind&soul o banjunghap OFF MY LIST!
and lots off since i did most of my wish shopping list in malaysia.
HERE TO SAY THAT I REALLY LOVE JOANNE LIM!!
even though i can only get my ablum after 21 nov cos she is flying off to japan.
yeah, i love you so much!
one more friend to treasure hard my whole life~!
talking about albums, i decided to do a mass hunt on all the singers and bands in SM entertainment(BoA's & TVXQ's company)
yeah, interesting people they got there.
and i came across with the singer a while back, zhang lin yin.
yeah, korean singer.
just realised that she have the very tong en feel... hmm.
she look super korean but when i checked her out, she is from china and her singing is SUPER good.
i really mean, SUPER!!
she is only 17 and yet with a very powerful voice and her korean is PERFECT!!
yes, she is a girl i admire and respect other than BoA.
they really handle different languages really well.. as in learning other languages.
i am determined to study hard for my korean language and i am glad that i am starting to have to korean accent when i speak korean..:)
dont ask me what type of accent it is, i just got it!
since zhang lin yin is able to overcome the china accent and master korean, I CAN DO IT TOO:)
continue slacking infront of the computer!
Friday, November 10, 2006
posted at 9:45 AM
i feel so bored and all at home today.
continue watching taiwan drama.
i am not quite used to the hectic day i had for the past 6 days in malaysia.
its good to have a rest.
i need to start studying next week onwards.. sighx.
yeah, really bought lots of stuff from penang with my really budgetted amount of RM with me..
sighx, i am sure i would buy lots more if it was like free flow of it.. HA!
overall the trip is good lar.
some parts were a little boring and i really missed like stuff here in singapore.
i miss my mum's cooking the most.
i dont know, for once that i realised that my mum is a really good cook and i should never take home cook food for granted cos i really am sick of outside food now.
never take things for granted:)
oh my, and to think that i really missed my friends over here even though rachel and faith were with my for the whole trip.
MADE NEW FRIENDS:)
sheryl, kaiting & nanjie.
got to know them better
and GUESS WHAT!!!
i dreamt of raina on one particular night..
oh my, its really embarrassing...so i am not going to post here.. HA!
its really.. weird..HA!
oh, and i spotted this idol shop in KL .. and what attracted me to actually drop by the shop was TVXQ's POSTER!!
OH MY, i was acutally super tired and hungry, almost a dead person walking around.
you should have seen that 'light' on my face when i saw their poster a level below the shop.
i was like, 'rachel and faith, go and buy food 1st. meet you guys at macs'.
i feel insane by luckily i was able to get a grip of myself and not buy the whole shop down.
just 32 postcards, a set of stickers and a 2007 card calender.
the 32 cards were in a pack ok.. i didnt pick all.
and the uncle gave me the stickers and card calender FREE!!
i bet he saw that tinge of happiness in me..HA!
only at the moment did i wanna stay in KL for the rest of my life..HA!
i bought like 2 cross earrings and I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY!!
i almost turn all the shops over just to look for cross earrings.
and at penang, at our last shopping stop, i saw a shops flooded with that..SO :)
sorry na, i would have got you a pair but no cash:(
i was so tempted to get a mickey mouse shirt.. you know why..HA!
nothing much.
yeah, my life is all so boring now.
i am so broke. dont ask me outapparently, i am not going to get my allowance for the rest of this hols according to my dad.
i tell you, i dont know how am i going to hunt for $99 by the end of this month.
yeah, getting a zenV and offer ends this month.
any kind soul would like to lend me $$ or even sponsor me??
no, i know no one will..
if i happen to call you, you know why..HA!
i wanna fly to get a job.
anyone with job recommendations, can come and look for me as well..
I NEED $$
Thursday, November 9, 2006
posted at 3:06 PM
DOREEN's BACK IN ACTION IN S'PORE:)
yeah. i am back at last.
i so miss everyone..
since its late now, i should just have a short and brief post about my 6 day trip to malaysia.
okay, went to malacca on the 1st day and then off to KL in the night.
we went to the night market that night and bargain like siao(*thanks rachel:))
stayed in the nice nice hotel for 2 nights.
3rd day, ipoh water resort.
its a nice place but it rained on that day so we went to the water park the next day with so little time.
penang,SGGS twinning school.
the stuff there are okay and I LOVE MY HOST:)
they are so nice and we had loads of fun..
mainly for this trip is..
I ATE AND SHOPPED A LOT!!
to be continue tmr...SLEEP!
