Tuesday, March 6, 2007
posted at 10:48 AM
sighx.
i cant all these anymore.
aiyo, i hate school like crazy i tell you.
i dont know why.
i just made up my mind today.
i really hate school.
to me, school is just a place where i break the rules and make new friends and hopefully, some friendships that will last.
dont talk to me about how we should study cos we are students.
i dont give a freaky damn about that.
honestly, i dont mind being a drop out of school dude.
to tell you, i wanted and talked to my mum about dropping out of school after psle which is primary 6, this is how badly i hate school or rather, teachers.
i got 'suan' but another teacher today.
i know i got the very 'qian bian'/'pai' look..
but, that doesnt mean the teachers can always pick on me right?!
its just that i dont smile i know..
but, i dont wanna go around smiling like an idiot.
maybe i really hate school and teachers so even if i smile, its not natural at all..
today i got 'suan' cos i didnt understand what the freaking the teacher was teaching.
its like, hey im already really weak at Amaths and i dont have any tuition for any subjects so its actually alright if im slower than the rest in class.
mg teachers always think that all mg girls are rich enough for 10 tuition teachers.
hello, even if i was rich enough, why would i need to pay pple to piss me off??
okay, back to how i got 'suan'.
first, i was trying so hard to pay attention in class cos i was almost nodding off.
but, I DID LISTEN.
dont assume that i wasnt listening when i have no expression on my face the whole lesson.then, when it was time to do our assignment during class time, i just merely raised my amaths textbook and asked if anyone wanted to borrow
cos im like the only one who bring all my textbooks to school and im famous for lending all sorts of textbook to the whole class.
then, angie took it from me and teacher was staring at me.
she gave me a 'why aint you going to do your work now?' look.
i knew what she was thinking so i just told her that i dont even understand whatever she said for the past 1h 40 mins, do what work?!?
she asked me what i didnt understand.
"everything."
"what do you mean you dont understand everything? i took so much time to explain and you tell me you dont understand?? what were you doing just now? dreaming?"
"i dont understand everything!"
"okay, then too bad."
im the type that would ask teacher how to do something or would clarify my doubts like immediately.
maybe only phyics..
cos i need to.
if not i will die a terrible death during test.
i just start to see the hope in my amaths cos ive gotten a B3 for common test.
and now, i think im going to flunk it again.
you see, i dont know whats wrong with me but im the person who flunk my subject if the teacher pisses me off and pick on me.
i would just stop listening as hard as i used to if im bring pissed off just once.
yeah.
e.g. chemistry and my amaths teacher last year.
thats why i saw hope in my amaths when we changed teacher this year.
now, i dont know how.
now you know that i bear gudges..yeah
talking about going on diet and all,
IM ON A DIET AND SAVING SPREEM!its not that im trying to follow everyone else and all..
to go on a diet
yeah.
its just that..
to think about it now, maybe im just not confident in myself.
yeah, i guess pple who go for plastic surg. its not because they are really wanna look different, its just that, they do not have self esteem and confidence.
pls dont blame me if i continue my diet till i reach BMI 16/17
yeah.
and pls dont get pissed hearing me saying that im fat.
im really fat..
really.
you would understand what im talking about if you werent in my shoes
i mean, pple when they come across high BMI, they would normally say " i need to grow ___ cm!"
and not, " shit, i need to lose ___ kg!!"
for me its "SHIT I NEED TO LOSE ALL MY FATS NOW!!"
yeah, cos if those who havent taken note or know, i havent grow ever since i was 12.
yeah. i stopped growing for the past 4 years.
i dont think i will grow ever again.
plus i dislocated my tail bone.
when one injuries their back, dont talk about growing taller to them any longer.
cos its impossible.
yeah.
so its not my fault that im a diet.
i just gotta face live that im a total short, fat with the "PAI"/ FULL OF ATTITUDE/ DAO LOOK!
sorry. this is just me.
so, everything branch down to...
DOREEN HATES HERSELF :(
