Wednesday, September 17, 2008
posted at 11:08 PM
i recall what wife once told me,
'My mum said that the crushing part is the most sweet part. Because you just like him, and not fearing that he will reject you cause he doesn't know it at all.' (its somewhere along those lines la, huh.)
but i think, i really think, i'm starting to hate the crushing bit.
it can really be just sweet and all at times, and at others, it could be a little saddening and tiring.
Sometimes, you can be real glad that he doesn't know anything at all, you guys can still talk and do what friends/good friends do with no burden, no obstacle at all.
But, at other times, you wished he would just open up his eyes and see what's going on in your little heart. You wished he would just get those obvious hints and little acts that you do for him.
Sometimes, you want him to stop talking to anyone else but you. You wished he would just spend more time with you.
But, when he actually does, you feel as if you don't really have much to talk to him, cause you've got that slight wall building up, the wall that you like him.
Sometimes, you just wished he would just look at you amongst all his other friends. You wait and wait, waiting for him to just you eye contact.
Yes, you've gotten the eye contact.
But, you then start wondering if its just his eyes on you, or is his heart on you as well.
So tell me, is crushing the sweetest of them all?
But in what position do i have a say on this?
I've yet to see the full picture, cause the master copy is with Him.
Whatever to the confusing thing called Love.
How i wish that this heart in me will just cold and harden up for good.
That i will start to feel no more to everything around me.
Though i would lose all those smiles that have brought much joy to those around me,
Though i would lose all those laughters that have brighten up the lives of those around me,
Then all those pain would stop hurting,
Then all those hurt would stop causing the tears,
Then all those tears would stop flowing.
Then everything will just come to a stop, for good.
That will be when My Heart turns cold and harden to any feelings.
