Saturday, September 27, 2008
posted at 11:53 PM
" Just another day, Walking through the Pain ... "
I'm so disturbed.
I'm so
ugly.I'm physically ugly, mentally ugly, emotionally ugly.
I dislike so many things about myself.
I don't like my physical self, mental self, emotional self at all.
Is it wrong to dislike something that You've created?
I'm sorry if i hurt You.
These days I've been thinking.
I've been feeling so physically disabled.
My right shoulder have been giving me a lot of problems today, which is very irritating.
And i know that it will continue giving me problems tmr.
Though I look fit, inside I feel as if I'm half handicapped.
I can't (well not suppose to) run, jump, do sports, ...
Doesn't that make me half-handicapped?
I've been hearing a bit of people telling me that I'm not fat these days.
Well, i sort of figured it out a little, but i still see the tummy.
Then, you'll tell me everyone's got a tummy.
Its just this stupid thinking I have alright?
Watching a video just now, I just realised that I really do have very short legs and it looks so ugly, damn.
I already don't look that pretty and the legs are even worst, though i used to be very proud of my legs till just now.
My emotional self bit, let's not go to that, no one wants the details yeah?
My mental self, i made myself sound like a psycho the other time, whatever, i'm a sadistic freak.
How will I die to end this sad life?
Probably a cancer, I've always believed that if i die of cancer, it would be leukemia, tell me I'm watching too much korean dramas where everyone dies of that.
I didn't intent to blog all these to hurt your eyes from whatever that is in this polluted, bad mind of mine.
I suck i know, but I needed to get all these off my brain.
There's more to it, but ... if i start to blog my every single thought, it would be endless.
Unless you come to me, nothing will happen.
If we're meant to be, something will happen.
Its only 10 minutes, but ... nothing will happen.
