Saturday, October 18, 2008
posted at 10:25 PM
I've never mentioned this,
but i hate to take public transport from church to home nowadays.
but i need to go church every saturday now
and every week when i am in that one hour trip home, i'll just sit in the bus, and emo all the way home.
and i usually have the most emo thoughts in long lonely bus rides like such.
i dont deny that i do like and enjoy it, but the thoughts are so bad, it just pollutes this world and me.
i talked to 2 people in church just now.
we somehow talked about foreign people who works in singapore and such.
i remember saying how a lot of singaporean fly aboard to work there, or even stay there for good, that's why singapore needs to hire foreigners, which most singaporeans refers to people who steals their rice bowls.
its just suddenly hit me,
if i wasnt born in singapore, things would have been so different for me.
I thanked God a few times for putting me in this safe, green and nice small country called singapore.
but now, I may have other thoughts about being born in singapore.
If I was born elsewhere in Asia,
maybe korea or japan may sound good,
I would have been able to complete my ambitions.
I would be able to pursue music, arts and film so strongly. (though i'm doing that now ..)
because, those countries allow you to grow and gives you space to do your music, to expand your creativity.
well, singapore is a country that is really not catered to those who loves Arts
who loves music,
who loves dancing,
who loves film,
who loves to draw,
...
Does that mean ...
I'm not made to be in Singapore?
Does that mean,
all my dreams about my future just crash because I'm a Singaporean in Singapore?
Does that mean,
I am forced to fly out of my country because I want to build and achieve my dream?
I look at singers who i considered successful.
And i am always amazed by the things they do, the songs they write, the way they sing, the way they dance, the fashion sense they have, the creative minds that have full of original ideas, ...
where did they come from?
And i realised, Its because they have the space and environment to grow in, to show what they really got.
But, if i stay here, i would probably just be some rubbish musician, trash director, retarded digital visual effects graduate ...
But to pursue my dreams, and whatever I've mention above,
I need to be selfish and give up everyone here,
I need to be daring to leave home and my loved ones into the alien world outside.
Am I ready?
Labels: emo
