Tuesday, December 9, 2008
posted at 11:04 PM
I was going to blog about something happy.
I shouldn't have blog before i heard the bad things.
Sighx,
korean wasnt that bad. i felt that i could read korean like i was half-korean, like i had some korean blood in me. both written and oral went well, other than the fact that my partner for oral really cant speak or read korean ...
film test went well too, my first time sitting for a test that i'm confident when all i did was read thru notes twice.
came home to pamper myself with alot of Big Bang-ing.
found out something a while back. i used to dislike guys with smile eyes due some big dislikes over some small eyed guys,
but now i know, small eyes guys have that charm that 'big' eyes guys may not have. lol, does this only apply to koreans? figure it out yourselves :P
so.. to guys with small eyes, please dont be sad :)
----
I hate this world, and this world hates me.
Yes, because i'm an alien in this place, in this world. This is not where i belong. I want to be There, back with Him. Heaven is the only place where i belong. Yet, i dont wish to see Him just yet.
Yes, irony is the word you're searching for in your mind.
this week is going to be a super rough week, i hope i do survive physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
cos i feel like every single bit of me is slowly dying.
these 5 months have been crazy, crazy enough to get me admitted not only into a regular hospital, but into IMH (Institution of Mental Health) <-- right?
talking about hospital, i really want to go and see the doctor. i think i need to, or is it another psychology crap again?
i remember the last time i saw a doctor was in Jan at Alexandra Hospital.
So, is it a good or bad sign?
cos as mentioned, it feels that every bit of me is slowing dying...
bad.
and actually, okay, no one knows this.
other than planning and whatever happens in the camp, i'm just afraid that my back cannot take it though i can. yesterday, cos i studied the whole day, my back was in protest cos it had to support my body frame the whole day with little movement made. Okay, its just cranky.
and now, even my heart is protesting ... i felt like ripping it out so much just now ...
yes, rip it and tear it into a million pieces, then blow it away into the dark sky ... ...
Labels: Big Bang, emo, God, korean
