i'm grateful and happy, that even though all most of my nights are terrible with the emo-ism getting into me, He sends something in his very own special way to comfort me, to cheer me up. Yes, God cheer-ed me up once again via the internet.
Well, cause Seungri totally made my night. That was too cute. I know you did it with no intentions to make someone's day, but it totally made me smile. Thank you for being yourself.
I'm thankful for everything, everyone around me. saranghae:D
I dislike so many things about myself. I don't like my physical self, mental self, emotional self at all. Is it wrong to dislike something that You've created? I'm sorry if i hurt You.
These days I've been thinking. I've been feeling so physically disabled. My right shoulder have been giving me a lot of problems today, which is very irritating. And i know that it will continue giving me problems tmr. Though I look fit, inside I feel as if I'm half handicapped. I can't (well not suppose to) run, jump, do sports, ... Doesn't that make me half-handicapped?
I've been hearing a bit of people telling me that I'm not fat these days. Well, i sort of figured it out a little, but i still see the tummy. Then, you'll tell me everyone's got a tummy. Its just this stupid thinking I have alright?
Watching a video just now, I just realised that I really do have very short legs and it looks so ugly, damn. I already don't look that pretty and the legs are even worst, though i used to be very proud of my legs till just now.
My emotional self bit, let's not go to that, no one wants the details yeah? My mental self, i made myself sound like a psycho the other time, whatever, i'm a sadistic freak.
How will I die to end this sad life? Probably a cancer, I've always believed that if i die of cancer, it would be leukemia, tell me I'm watching too much korean dramas where everyone dies of that.
I didn't intent to blog all these to hurt your eyes from whatever that is in this polluted, bad mind of mine. I suck i know, but I needed to get all these off my brain.
There's more to it, but ... if i start to blog my every single thought, it would be endless.
Unless you come to me, nothing will happen. If we're meant to be, something will happen. Its only 10 minutes, but ... nothing will happen.
being alone is that bad after all. i did loner shopping today cause i had to get some stuff and ... no one really likes to walk around westmall yeah? so, i do loner shopping alot at westmall and toa payoh. lol, but i did spend quite a bit as usual. that's bad, i've been spoiling myself a little too much these days :|
with all the korea products i've been getting. haha!!!
anyhow, just a thought. i seriously make a good boyfriend. i'm usually the one waiting when i go on dates, i'm usually the one who decides on where we should eat, i'm usually the one who ain't that pickey (overall) ...
and i wait for others is really true okay, ... i waste most of my life waiting -.-
yes, if i was a boy, that would be at all the girls advantage. lol, i'm a better option for being a boyfriend. okay, if you think i'm just being ego here yet again, ignore me totally please.
seriously, if i could be your boyfriend, you would love me to bits. i plan romantic surprising dates. you'll know what i'm talking about soon. yes, dear. its for you. well, if you even know who you are.
the good MVs with the good singers and good dance just keep on coming in :D
enjoy.
Dong Bang Shin Ki - Mirotic MV they are finally back into the kpop scene after 2 years at jpop:D
BoA - Eat U Up Teaser A & B Her anticipated debut in the America music industry scene is at last happening! yeah, its a really good dance, catchy song. the dance is considered to be a real difficult one to learn but BoA did well, a comment made by the choreographer.
this make me wanna dance so badly. i dont mind clubbing dancing at all.
It was an awesome dinner with joanne and her family yesterday night. and guess what was awesome other than the company? we ate at a korean restaurant at Amara Hotel :D. this so rocks. haha, though the food wasn't that good, bimbibap was such a letdown :( but meat tasted really good, so did the ginger tea :D oh, and at last!! I TRIED SOJU! but it was cold .. but still!! :D:D oh, but jo took away my cup after seeing jing's red face :|
HAPPY early BIRTHDAY, JO!! gave her a scarf that she once told me that she liked it when we were out :D haha, so i've decided to get it for her :D yeah jo, dont be too excited on your part 2, 3, .... birthday presents :D:D HAHA, it will rock still cause i'm such an awesome hubby :P
i should speak no more, let the photos talk!! korean restaurant.
i was seated beside my pretty wife :) who was .. ji-lianing. yeah, she's into camwhoring which was KOREAN-DO influenced :D but oh wells, this is one of my favourite photo ever!! Among all those i've taken, this is awesome!!
some foody photos ginger tea rocks!!
oh talking about food, i was reminded again by how jo's dad kept on offering me and jing soju to drink though we are not supposed to ... lol but who cares, it wasnt even our first time drinking. haha, whoops ~ then he kept on wanting to fill up out soju shot, until jo's mum had to stop him. LOL.
wayne + joyce + jo<33>
3 different cakes there. haha.
jo's family + family friends photos :D
now, photos of dojojing seriously dont know what was wrong with me that day, my stupid fringe looked damn ugly. whatever to stupid hair, make me look like i'm half balding... :|
I've got tagged by Kendra to do this! HAHA, but its something to take my mind off those things that hurt i guess.
Thanks Kendra.
1. The age you will be on your next birthday:
18~! It would be a year closer to my dream age 21~!
2. A Place You would like to travel to:
This is so not fair, everyone knows i wanna go to S.Korea badly.
United Kingdom (UK) - Something you never knew? haha.
Japan
Taiwan
3. Your favourite places:
My room - this is not anything like my own room, its in a too messy state now and i'm too lazy to snap a shot for this. lol.
But thinking about it, i dont really have a favourite favourite place, the company is all it matters.
4. Your favourite food(s):
Bibimbap - Korean food
Sushi
Carbonara
Cakes - in particular, Oreo Cheesecake
5.Your Favourite Pet:
I don't really like pets to begin with, but i once told my mummy if i am really rich in the future, i want a ...
DOLPHIN! - i know i'm just fantasying yet again. but its a total irony, i have a great phobia of water.
6.Your favourite colour combination:
I have 3 listed here!
White with Red; Black with Red
Black with Pink
7. Your favourite piece of clothing:
This is so tough. I'm going to have quite a few.
Beanie/Hat
High Pants/Shorts/Skirt
Dresses
8. Your all-time favourite song:
I'll just specify the genres maybe?
Of course, keeping in mind that i only listen to korean music. (& selective jap music)
Emo
Hip-Hop (BIGBANG:D)
9. Your Favourite TV Show:
Yeah, i watch alot of korean dramas and selective jap dramas.
haha, so these are 2 dramas that impact me alot this 2 years.
Hong Gil Dong
Snow Queen
Both of them have a sad ending, a terrible one, at least to me.
10. Town in which you live in: Yes, this island called Singapore
11. Your Screen Nickname:
This is what i saw when i typed korean-do on google.
SUNGGMINN from Super Junior :D
HAHA, my display photo on crunchyroll and some forums, lol.
12: Your First Job:
I worked at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaves as a barista for 6 months. haha.
13. Your Dream Job:
GOSH I've got so many, bet more than kendra i bet :P
1. Singer
2. An Abstract Artist like picasso.
3. Be a rich TAITAI.
4. Film Director (i wanna film movies, dramas and MVs!!) <- i think it includes writing my own story and filming it. haha.
5. Creative Director cannot really find a suitable one for this, haha. only managed to get photos of creative directors with their macs. lol, so here's one :)
6. Designer this one also can't find a suitable image, so here's what i've got when i googled designer.
14. A bad habit you have:
Being EMO
15. Your worst fear:
Water This is apparently the deepest pool in the world. look kinda of fun though, but no thanks.
Total darkness
Losing the people around me
16. The one thing you’d like to do before you die:
To meet and have a great conversation to everyone I love. I'll definitely even go up to those I used to crush on, and tell them how long and why I liked them, ... ...
-----
This is the looongest quiz i ever done. Took DAYS to finish this, almost 4 days?? HAHA, so its your turn now.
Tagging: JOANNE LIM! ; KENNA ANG! (though i know you've been tagged by your sister, means you really need to do it)
'My mum said that the crushing part is the most sweet part. Because you just like him, and not fearing that he will reject you cause he doesn't know it at all.' (its somewhere along those lines la, huh.)
but i think, i really think, i'm starting to hate the crushing bit.
it can really be just sweet and all at times, and at others, it could be a little saddening and tiring.
Sometimes, you can be real glad that he doesn't know anything at all, you guys can still talk and do what friends/good friends do with no burden, no obstacle at all.
But, at other times, you wished he would just open up his eyes and see what's going on in your little heart. You wished he would just get those obvious hints and little acts that you do for him.
Sometimes, you want him to stop talking to anyone else but you. You wished he would just spend more time with you.
But, when he actually does, you feel as if you don't really have much to talk to him, cause you've got that slight wall building up, the wall that you like him.
Sometimes, you just wished he would just look at you amongst all his other friends. You wait and wait, waiting for him to just you eye contact.
Yes, you've gotten the eye contact.
But, you then start wondering if its just his eyes on you, or is his heart on you as well.
So tell me, is crushing the sweetest of them all?
But in what position do i have a say on this?
I've yet to see the full picture, cause the master copy is with Him.
Whatever to the confusing thing called Love.
How i wish that this heart in me will just cold and harden up for good.
That i will start to feel no more to everything around me.
Though i would lose all those smiles that have brought much joy to those around me,
Though i would lose all those laughters that have brighten up the lives of those around me,
Then all those pain would stop hurting,
Then all those hurt would stop causing the tears,
Then all those tears would stop flowing.
Then everything will just come to a stop, for good.
That will be when My Heart turns cold and harden to any feelings.
gosh, this is going to be so propaganda for korea .. lol after this, people may get really wanna watch the korean music stage for themselves. lol, but this is good proper propaganda okay...
i am seriously damn amazed by korean's music industry. really, no wonder people for all over the world who is serious about music wants to go korea.
i finally understood what made me listen to a foreign language that i've no clue of whatever they are singing for so loooooong!! Okay, i do understand here and there, but most of their lyrics i need to look for translation before i understand!
Firstly, their stage is just big and amazing!
doubting me? here is it! #1. Big Bang's Stage (all photos are taken by korean-do:), so it belongs to me!) Ain't it just awesome?! (i know many will start shaking their heads cause i'm promoting korea here) Wonder why Singaporeans will specially go and watch fireworks and Koreans don't? 'Cause they get to see it so often on their own performance stages, on tv, that they are immune to it. Probably what happened to me too. The above comment is not meant to be any sort of personal attack, those i just recalled 3 good friends specially went to watch fireworks :X
still don't believe me about stages? here are alot more.
#2. FT Island's stage yes, they raised them in the middle of the song. i thought it just me having really bad giddiness or something cause the lead singer was shaking so much. lol, i still wonder how they can still play the instruments on earthquaking ground. #3. Hyori's stage haha, koreans have the thing on making the artist's name really big and glam and put it on the stage. and it changes at every different stage. wonder what happens to them after they are used only once. lol.
haha, yes ain't it great. seeing how big and awesome the stage are, i remember what i heard from one taiwan artist comment about the concert stages in taiwan. that it is really complicated about everything that goes below the stage and all. but look at korea's, all these photos i'm uploaded are PERFORMANCE stages, not the concert ones. so can you imagine how confusing their concerts one would be. and how exaggerated those stages would be? it wouldnt be just one fireworks, but ten.
Secondly, i think the artist's dressing are all really good. (*claps hands*) thank you, wardrobe managers! haha, they usually do a great job (though at times, the dress clash is real bad ..) but to me, overall, koreans have a good sense of fashion. the people walking in Korea's orchard road is definitely dressed more differently compared to people walking in singapore's orchard. I'm not the only one saying this, it was on mentioned on local tv channel once. (though i never been to korea, i know korea more than those who went okay ..)
Thirdly, THOSE WHO NEVER BOUGHT A KOREAN ARTIST's ALBUM, please go and grab one!! The album printing, packaging and all is just FANATASTIC! the way they package their album always make me feel that every cent spent was worth it! serious, you just need to check them out for yourself!
Fourthly, really .. their songs ARE GOOD! from composing the song, to writing the lyrics, to the music arrangement done to the quality of the music, and the vocals of the singer. its just awesomely awesome. Being spoilt by the awesome korean musics I've been listening to, I'm very picky and selective on my songs now.
Lastly, (cause this post can just be a kilmeter long if i really wanna list everything out) THEIR DANCES AND SINGING IS REALLY GOOD LIVE. Well, this line definitely don't apply for all korean artists, but i can safely say that even those who dont appear to do very well in korea, actually could be our project superstar in singapore. 'Cause standard of the music industry/entertainment industry in korea is so high.
Well, i was going to embed links from youtube here, but just go watch it for yourself. Don't know where to start? Visit www.youtube.com/doreenergy :)
Let me sum everything you've read above in one line. Korean Entertainment/Music Industry is of HIGH-QUALITY & HIGH-STANDARDS. Where music lovers should spoil themselves by just listening to their songs and watch their performances :D:D
This is total outdated news, when i saw kendra with her new hair cut wayy months ago, i thought she looked at
yeah, SUNYE from Wondergirls.
putting their photos side by side now, maybe not. haha, but it does if you meet kendra in person. lol, maybe its just the skin tone, the hair style, the hair parting and the nose. haha ...
if you thought sunye looked familiar, she is a member of wondergirls who sang the SO HOT song i posted up her once :)
YES! I've got sexy at last :) haha, yesh, got it today after work. my love-at-first-sight with the shoe happened when i was walking around westmall about a week or 2 ago. it was just what i was looking for!
was told to settle my own dinner out of the house today by mum. well, it was wise of her cause she's sure her daughter wouldnt cook something decent for herself to eat. so, i called a few people and hannah was the one i went dinner with @ pastamania. okay, we didnt really go out for dinner. she watched me eat my kids' meal at pastamania. i'll so eat that from now onwards cos i feeling so full even until now!! but hannah was saying that its not enough for me. cheers to me for being such a small eater.
then went off with my agenda to get my sexy. i took so many photos of it when i reached home like i've return home with a newborn baby.
so pardon those photos; & please don't get too jealous and steal my current dress sense. i really hate the idea of people dressing like me. i mean, dont really favour the idea of looking identical with the person seating beside me on the public bus, got it? haha.
so here's the photos!
yesh, isn't it looking real good? haha. lol, i'm so proud of my new shoes :) moreover, its converse. yes, for those who didnt know or realised, i've got this thing with converse :)
anyhow, the only big issue with the shoes is, its pretty difficult to match my wardrobe with it. haha, well, it seems to be now, but maybe when i get used to it, it should be alright i hope. cause this kind of hiphop shoe is not often/or at all seen wore by singaporean on the street, hence the difficulty with whatever clothes going with it.
i hope i dont see alot of singaporean wearing this walking around the small island since i've got it now.
haha, does this look alright? (pardon the very dirty mirror, yes. the photo hinted that mirror needs cleaning :X) does this combination look fine? like my this shoes with shorts? Cause hannah said it looked like a big totally clash of dressing. but i thought it looked pretty alright. i felt that shorts look better with it than skinny :X
tag me feedback on this yeah? :D thanks!
lovelove sexy shoes.
---- anyhow, i can proudly announce another thing! I HAVE yet again ATTEMPT on ... READING!! HAHAH!!
okay, guess why i picked this books out of everything that is in the library? Cause it was under the new arrival section. haha, it looked so new and i'm trilled by the fact that i'm probably the first to read this book because everything was clean and new (its not really like that now :S accidents do happen)
'She was seventeen, a baby and He was twenty-one, a man.' this made me start thinking.
Oh wells, I told her that we should avoid talking in the night since night time is always the best time to emo..
haha.
The YM blog is at last officially OPEN.
haha, yes.
My Baby that I've been working on for the past 2 months is out at last.
haha, now i really understand what my senior really meant when she said that its really happy and satisfying to see your babies get online, get printed and all.
though i dont really feel that my bulletins are my babies anymore..
lol.
YAY to Doreen for the hardwork for 2 months for working and staring at that blog.
Damn, now, i feel that i talked too much today, shared too much.
Sometimes, people really take what i said too hard, take what i said too literally.
What's wrong? Is it just me or is it that i'm really getting the looks and stares from others just because i revealed a little more of what i really am.
Well, i never thought that i'm the kind who would bear grudges, the kind who have a lot of hatred and hurt in me.
It was until that pastor told me.
He told me that, God knows that you have a lot of hatred, a lot of hurt within you.
Then did i realised that I'm not a person who is easy at forgiving others.
It's not my fault right?
After much conversation with my friends previously about myself, i also found out that i have much grudges i bear that have already been old.
Is it really my fault?
Well, i feel that now, they think that i'm just sadist piece of shit.
like i'm just a girl who thinks too much, who wants revenge, who is actually a assassin who goes out in the night to kill those who've hurt me.
I admit that I'm a emo, full of negative thinking, ..
but i'm sick of this.
just think of me as whatever you want.
Everyone has almost a total view of my character.
Well, if you think i'm quiet and shy, i am.
if you think i'm gangsterish, i am.
if you think i'm dao, i am.
think whatever you want.
I've complicated characteristics, no point defining who i am.
And today, i saw so much during the retreat.
I really need to have more forgiveness towards the people who hurt me, and especially towards myself.
Cause i realised that, it is because of all these hatred and hurt and the unforgiving heart i have, that result in everything i am in now, that result to all the emo bits of me.
Yes, I'm like torturing myself mentally and emotionally for all the wrong I've done.
Damn me.
But, I'm glad that you have been always there for me.
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!! finally, on teachers' day, i received little gifts from people :) yeah, my students from the childcare :) haha, i felt as if it was half my birthday.. lol!! now i know how the teachers all feel on teachers' day, and what it feels to be a teacher. lol!!
here are the gifts :)
my first teachers' day gift from a girl who gave a day earlier :) yeah, it was a compass. haha, though a little useless to me now, but it was still really nice of her. my mummy said this is how kids think. lol, but its still the thought that counts!!
oh mann, this is wicked. haha, the boss of my childcare gave all the female teachers sanitary pads for teachers' day gift. lol, it was just shocked and stunned when i was given it!! haha!! there are like 20 in a pack and all in different sizes, regular, long, overnight wear. wahahahaa! i was LOL-ing with my colleague for a while cos it was just so funny! but at least, i will really get to use this! moreover, the day before that, i was telling my sister that she should get pad for her teachers cause they CONFIRM PLUS STAMP will use it. and now, i've got it -.- but i like it okay?! :D
and this is my part for teachers' day i went back to MG on friday to visit my nice teachers :D
so i got to enjoy both student and teacher position this teachers' day. it was really really nice and meaningful :)
got to check up with cass, lydia, davina, kai and hannah on that day too! went out with them for lunch with jo :) visit jo's blog for photos and more details on our sweet date :D jo gotten all the photos this time. well, cos she gotten her camera at last! HAHA!
oh, and i've gotten a real real belated birthday gift from lydia too!! haha its a cup, and its really really cool. so cool till the extend that i'm not going to show you :P:P
Yes, this island called Singapore
